Olaolu (Lou) Ogunyemi Leadership Growth

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Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie

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Longo, Transformational Coach. This show looks

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at how the internal choices we make influence

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the direction our lives and work take. Today's

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conversation brings real experience into that

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space, exploring how internal shifts quietly

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change outcomes over time. We have a very special

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guest today, Lou Oganami. Good afternoon, Lou.

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Welcome to the show. Hey, thanks so much for

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having me, Debbie. I'm very excited to be here.

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Thank you. Thank you for being here. I would

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just like to start with explain to me something

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or a few things that happened in your life that

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were negative, either a traumatic experience,

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maybe at a job or home life or whatever the situation

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is where you took that and you turned it into

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a positive. So now you are a place and now you're

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not there anymore. Now you're at this place.

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So the end result should be how you came out

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on the other side. And what's in between that,

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what you say in between that is your story, is

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how you put that all together, compile that all

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together. Yeah. So thank you for that question.

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One of the biggest things that I recognized is

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that I was, I just, I hated rejection and I still

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hate rejection to this day, but I've learned

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how to deal with it better. And the reason I

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say that, I start there, is because I was the

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fifth to sixth children. It seemed like to me

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growing up as a child, and I know this isn't

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true now, but as a child, I had my two older

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sisters who were close in age. I had my two brothers

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who were close in age. Then there's me, and then

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there's the little baby, my baby brother. And

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I felt like the baby brother's in his protected

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class, but he's like four years younger than

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me. And then the other two were grouped up. And

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so for me, I felt like I needed to almost like

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find myself. and sort of explore ways that I

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can grow and develop as an individual myself.

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But one of the things I found is when I went

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out growing up, number one, because of my name,

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Olalu Okunyemi, out there in Ruston, Louisiana,

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it wasn't necessarily something to help me fit

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in. So the first thing that you have right off

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the bat when I'm going to introduce myself, I'm

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not even portraying confidence because I don't

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really like my name. I don't really want to tell

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people my name because I'm embarrassed. So when

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I do tell them my name, now they're they're making

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fun of me. And it just started this this weird

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downward spiral, if you will, because. It was

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my name at one point, then it was the gap in

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my teeth at another point, and then it was my

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weight at another point. It was always something

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that was going on that caused me to feel like

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I was a reject. started to pick up on and started

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to learn is that because I felt rejected, I was

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willing to almost do anything to fit in. And

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that's where all the mischievous things came

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from. That's why I was getting in trouble in

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school. And quite honestly, if it weren't for

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an assistant principal who decided that she wasn't

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going to kick me out for something she could

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have kicked me out for, I would have been kicked

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out of expel from school. for something I knew

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I shouldn't have done. My parents and my family

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would never have approved of it, but I was doing

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it anyway because I just wanted to fit in. And

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I think that was a dangerous spot I was in as

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a child, just trying to figure out how to grow

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through not fitting in, feeling rejected, feeling

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insecure in the person you are, not being able

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to project any kind of confidence. And all those

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days really resonated with me. And the hardest

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part about it is that no matter how much people

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were to encourage me at home, Anytime somebody

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said it outside the home, especially adults,

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would like sort of double down on some of the

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things that people were saying. Were they making

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fun or not? Or were they just saying something

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they didn't think about it? I think when adults

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said something that I heard my friends and my

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buddies or the people I went to school with,

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it really hit me in the heart, man. And that's

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when I started trying, I started to believe some

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of the things people were saying about me. That's

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when they were making fun of me or the things

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that they said that Maybe now you're not, you're

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mischievous. You're bad. You're not, you're not

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the good Ogden Yemen. You know, the rest of them

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are going to be successful, but you're not going

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to be one of the ones successful. When adult

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tells you that is sort of weighed on me. And

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quite frankly, I felt like I needed to start

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living up to the standard that they were portraying

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for me. One thing I will say though, and the

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way I was able to sort of work through that,

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this is specifically talking about my childhood.

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Number one, one thing happened that was fortunate.

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One of the guys that I was, best buddies with

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that I was showing out to be be friends with,

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he ended up dropping out of school in eighth

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grade, really eighth going into the ninth grade.

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So that's the first thing. And I say that's that's

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fortunate. I put that in air quotes because obviously

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it's not fortunate, but it happened to now leave

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me a void, leave a void in my life. And what

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filled that void was sports for me. It was coaches,

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it was other teammates and things of that nature

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that came in and started surrounding me and helping

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me to point in a positive direction. And so I

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think that really, when you think about the turnaround

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and what happened, how did I take my life from

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feeling like a reject and trying to do anything

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to fit in to where I am or where I was, at least

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through. high school and college. I truly believe

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that turnaround point was having that extracurricular

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activities and things like adults actually now

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speaking positively in my life. Having parents

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that, because it's one thing to hear it at home,

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it's another thing when you get out of the home

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to hear something else. And I think one of the

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hardest parts for us, and really it's not just

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me, it's my siblings as well, is when we were

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growing up, I think the hard one of the hardest

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parts when you're thinking about rejection is

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to watch my parents separate. And that truly

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did that hit that hit a home for me because I

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think that when it when it hit that point, that's

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about when I felt like, OK, now this is like

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the this is the true ultimate test or confirmation

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that you know what? My life is just not that

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good. It sort of sucks. You know, you watch your

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parents that you thought this thing was really

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good and you watch them separate. And one of

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the things that I had to learn, number one, is

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that life happens. And when I started learning

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about that and really started to accept the things

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that I can't change, it became a little bit more

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easy for me to adjust to. And so that's really

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what I will say. That's a huge part of my story,

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a huge part of who I am today. It's my childhood

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and learning how to grow through some of those

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adverse situations and learning how to really

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grow through my insecurities that were causing

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me or I was allowing them to have me do things

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to just try to fit in. Yes, very good. So how

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was your self -esteem during this whole scenario?

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Yeah, my self -esteem was shot. And that's something

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I practice today. And sometimes I look myself

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in the mirror and I start to tell myself, allow

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positive things, because I remember I recall

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looking in the mirror and telling myself so many

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negative stuff, you know, telling myself, dog,

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look at you, who you think you are. And I smile.

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Somebody will tell me my smile is beautiful.

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You have a bright smile, man. You can light up

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a room. And then another person would be like,

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hey man, that smile is ugly. And I'll go in the

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mirror and I will repeat that over and over.

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So really my self -esteem was extremely low.

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And I just didn't, I wasn't confident. I mean,

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you can look at pictures starting off as, I used

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to wear a cowboy hat when I was little, about

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five or six, they used to be my thing, hat and

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boots. I don't know, I was in that phase. But

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if you were to look at the pictures as you transition

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through the years, you'll see like this huge

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smile where people are like, man, this guy smiles

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big. And then you start going to those middle

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school, junior high, maybe even early high school

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years. And that smile is gone. That smile is

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almost faded with just like this blank stare.

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And in some cases, almost like it looked like

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a mugshot, to be honest with you. And so, yeah,

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that self -esteem was just it wasn't there. And

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I just had to learn. So one of the things thank

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you for that that was very very good. So one

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of the things that I Teach is to look internally

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within yourself Because I need to see not only

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the things that are wrong right or I need to

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see what I need to improve because if I'm not

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feeling good or I'm negative or things are not

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going the way that I want in my life because

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I have a tendency to look outside of myself,

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my environment. Am I happy at work? Am I happy

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in my marriage or with my spouse? And so I have

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the habit, I guess, of looking at that. And when

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I see these things that I don't like in any way,

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you gave a few examples of that. I want to be

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able to create some type of willingness or just

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a desire to look at myself? Is there something

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that I could change? Is there something that

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I could do in order to make my life and my surroundings

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or whatever the situation is a little bit better

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than what it is? So am I very negative? And one

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of the things that is very, very big that a lot

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of people don't even realize that they're in

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is low self -esteem. Now, I'm going to tell you

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a little secret. We have something called the

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ego self -esteem ladder. So when my self -esteem

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is low, my ego is high. I always want people

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to say good things about me. I'm looking for

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that that feedback where I constantly because

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I want. to have somebody say something to me

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or do something with me that's going to make

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me feel good because I can't do it on my own.

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And that's a big ego. But here's the thing. When

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my self -esteem is high, then my ego is low.

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And that's the whole thing. And guess what happens

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then? I become more of a giving person. Because

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when I have a high ego, I'm very, very selfish

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and self -centered. 100%. Because I want people

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to be nice to me. To say things that are nice

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to me, right? In order to make me feel better.

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So it's all about me, me, me. But if I have a

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high self -esteem, I don't need anybody to say

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anything to me. It doesn't matter if people like

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me or not. I don't really care. I'll tell you

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the truth. I just dismiss it. It doesn't matter.

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That's another thing, too. I want to be liked.

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I want to be liked. And like I said, when I have

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a high self -esteem, it doesn't matter whether...

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I just use this as one example. I mean, there

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are tons of examples of this. No, it doesn't

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matter. And then my ego is low. So now not only

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do I need the recognition, recognition is one

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word, but there's another word I'm thinking of.

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I can't get it into my head, but not only do

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I not need the recognition, right? Then everything

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around me is fine. So welcome to the world of

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perception. My perception now is completely different.

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There's nothing wrong because my self -esteem

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is high and my ego is low. There's nothing wrong

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with anything. Because whatever is wrong or if

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I feel upset or whatever negative feeling I have

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it does not matter It does not matter and this

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is a big big thing that a lot of people don't

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know about They're not familiar with they don't

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know what how to do it or they just don't understand

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it. That's it What did you do? How did you know

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to do this like you're talking about your positive

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now? and the things that you did to become this

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way. How did you know to do this? Did you have

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any type of help, professional help, or you just

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knew it yourself or self -help or books or something

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like that? How did you just become this way?

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Yeah, so definitely professional help. That was

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not something that I was able to come to on my

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own because one of the things that you talked

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about, was important to me, and that was learning

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how to control the things that I can't control,

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looking internal and saying, man, I can make

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some adjustments. And I'll give an example. Between

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seventh grade and eighth grade year, I started

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waking up at five in the morning. That's how

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long I've been doing it. Because I said, OK,

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I can control the perception, or I can at least

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control my physical fitness. I control being

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ready for a basketball season when it comes around,

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a track season when it comes around. One of the

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things that I will say that that did to me, though,

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is it gave me this almost overconfidence. And

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I think that goes exactly to what you're saying.

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It gave me an overconfidence. And that is when

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my self -esteem truly became low. Because now

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that I've done this thing, I have now started

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to say that, OK, well, now people are starting

00:12:29.799 --> 00:12:31.879
to compliment me. And everybody's starting to

00:12:31.879 --> 00:12:33.340
say, oh, look at you. You look great. You look

00:12:33.340 --> 00:12:35.279
in shape and all this. And now I'm eating this

00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:37.679
up. I'm eating this up. And now in my mind, I'm

00:12:37.679 --> 00:12:41.090
now associating this thing I can do, this great

00:12:41.090 --> 00:12:44.169
idea, this great exercise or whatever it is,

00:12:44.210 --> 00:12:46.710
I can implement this. And because I can implement

00:12:46.710 --> 00:12:49.049
this, I control all these things around me. And

00:12:49.049 --> 00:12:50.950
in a way, I can almost control the people around

00:12:50.950 --> 00:12:53.190
me in a way that I couldn't in the past. And

00:12:53.190 --> 00:12:54.929
what that gave, as I said, it gave me a little

00:12:54.929 --> 00:12:57.409
bit of overconfidence. And the problem with that

00:12:57.409 --> 00:12:59.730
is now I have this perception that I can almost

00:12:59.730 --> 00:13:02.299
control everything. And that was something that

00:13:02.299 --> 00:13:05.059
I think it didn't come to a screeching halt until

00:13:05.059 --> 00:13:07.399
my adult years. And that again, this goes back

00:13:07.399 --> 00:13:09.279
to your question. How did I figure this out?

00:13:09.539 --> 00:13:11.860
Well, I had external help and I had life circumstances

00:13:11.860 --> 00:13:13.559
that taught me that there are certain things

00:13:13.559 --> 00:13:16.259
that you can't control. For example, my son was

00:13:16.259 --> 00:13:18.779
diagnosed with complex partial epilepsy. And

00:13:18.779 --> 00:13:21.200
the way that we found out about this was quite

00:13:21.200 --> 00:13:23.620
literally, I came home from work early one day

00:13:23.620 --> 00:13:25.779
and I got a call that they couldn't wake my son

00:13:25.779 --> 00:13:27.899
up. And at this point he's three years old, he's

00:13:27.899 --> 00:13:30.100
at daycare. And luckily I was right down the

00:13:30.100 --> 00:13:32.200
street. So I rushed down the street and he's

00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:35.179
having, it wasn't even like a seizure I've ever

00:13:35.179 --> 00:13:37.379
seen before. It was one that was just, it was

00:13:37.379 --> 00:13:39.519
abnormal. And I'm sitting there like now trying

00:13:39.519 --> 00:13:41.700
to get everybody. I'm telling the teachers, I

00:13:41.700 --> 00:13:43.200
need you to do this, call the ambulance. And

00:13:43.200 --> 00:13:46.019
I'm like working all these things out. And I

00:13:46.019 --> 00:13:48.139
remember getting home and I think at that time

00:13:48.139 --> 00:13:50.220
we had just had, we'd already suffered a miscarriage.

00:13:50.659 --> 00:13:52.600
My AC had broken down. There's just a lot of

00:13:52.600 --> 00:13:55.299
things going on. And I think at that moment I

00:13:55.299 --> 00:13:58.179
had like this deep sob, this deep well. And in

00:13:58.179 --> 00:14:01.179
some cases, I believe it was because I finally

00:14:01.179 --> 00:14:03.980
was realizing that, dude, all these years you've

00:14:03.980 --> 00:14:06.039
been fooling yourself to think that you actually

00:14:06.039 --> 00:14:08.039
had control of these things. That there's nothing

00:14:08.039 --> 00:14:10.919
I could have done to control my son from having

00:14:10.919 --> 00:14:13.279
seizures. You could see it coming. That was a

00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:15.320
hard part. You literally could see it coming.

00:14:15.460 --> 00:14:17.700
You could feel it. You know it's coming. It's

00:14:17.700 --> 00:14:20.000
something we never could place our hand on it.

00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:22.940
what it was but we could see it coming but all

00:14:22.940 --> 00:14:24.840
of a sudden it's like there's nothing I can do

00:14:24.840 --> 00:14:27.019
to stop it I can tell they go lie down and relax

00:14:27.019 --> 00:14:30.190
or hey man let's get the medicine ready and all

00:14:30.190 --> 00:14:31.870
these other things, but it never did anything.

00:14:32.230 --> 00:14:34.309
And I think once I realized that I had to let

00:14:34.309 --> 00:14:37.330
go of control of some things, I think that's

00:14:37.330 --> 00:14:39.870
when my self -esteem truly began to increase,

00:14:40.110 --> 00:14:42.429
as you described. Instead of me looking and saying,

00:14:42.590 --> 00:14:45.350
hey, my ego's so big, I'm overconfident, I have

00:14:45.350 --> 00:14:47.210
all the control of the things going around me,

00:14:47.429 --> 00:14:49.429
I began to understand that life circumstances

00:14:49.429 --> 00:14:51.809
have now taught me that there's things that you

00:14:51.809 --> 00:14:53.610
can't control. And once you learn to say, okay,

00:14:54.029 --> 00:14:56.559
let those things go, that now you truly don't

00:14:56.559 --> 00:14:58.480
have to worry about that external influence and

00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:00.539
that external validation that people are giving

00:15:00.539 --> 00:15:03.360
you. But to your point, it did start with people

00:15:03.360 --> 00:15:05.419
coming and talking to me. It started with me

00:15:05.419 --> 00:15:08.049
going to professional counseling. at through

00:15:08.049 --> 00:15:10.090
my church actually we had counseling at there

00:15:10.090 --> 00:15:12.289
and talk sitting down talking to people about

00:15:12.289 --> 00:15:15.350
things going on it came with even my my brother

00:15:15.350 --> 00:15:17.509
he's the one who called me and talked to me and

00:15:17.509 --> 00:15:19.929
asked me a simple question which was hey man

00:15:19.929 --> 00:15:21.809
how are you doing after all these things are

00:15:21.809 --> 00:15:23.929
happening in my adult life yeah how are you doing

00:15:23.929 --> 00:15:25.769
and i was like oh yeah i'm doing this i'm taking

00:15:25.769 --> 00:15:27.570
care of the family i'm doing blah blah blah blah

00:15:27.570 --> 00:15:29.389
i'm good man i'm taking care of it he's like

00:15:29.389 --> 00:15:31.710
now now you're not going to convince me that

00:15:31.710 --> 00:15:33.570
you just went through this traumatic event with

00:15:33.570 --> 00:15:35.450
your son you just went through this miscarriage

00:15:35.740 --> 00:15:37.659
with your child and now you're going to tell

00:15:37.659 --> 00:15:40.039
me that you're good that don't even try man like

00:15:40.039 --> 00:15:42.559
you're you're now you're trying to project this

00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:44.580
this confidence and you and you wanted me to

00:15:44.580 --> 00:15:46.700
come back to you and say man you you're powerful

00:15:46.700 --> 00:15:48.220
man you're strong i know you're going to do it

00:15:48.220 --> 00:15:50.539
but instead he came to me and said man there's

00:15:50.539 --> 00:15:52.200
nothing wrong with crying dude there's nothing

00:15:52.200 --> 00:15:54.740
wrong with letting it go because good and well

00:15:54.740 --> 00:15:57.179
that you're not you're not good and if you continue

00:15:57.179 --> 00:15:59.960
you put on this persona I think that you end

00:15:59.960 --> 00:16:02.120
up breaking before you're able to completely

00:16:02.120 --> 00:16:04.580
heal. And that was one of the things that truly

00:16:04.580 --> 00:16:07.919
helped me over time as a child to understand

00:16:07.919 --> 00:16:10.159
that these are things that you have to grow through

00:16:10.159 --> 00:16:12.860
and these are things that you will learn now

00:16:12.860 --> 00:16:15.200
as an adult that you can't control everything.

00:16:15.399 --> 00:16:17.419
And I think that's really what happened is both

00:16:17.419 --> 00:16:19.440
counseling and life circumstances that sort of

00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:21.419
guided me in this direction. Yeah, so that was

00:16:21.419 --> 00:16:24.419
good. So like I said, a lot of times people don't

00:16:24.419 --> 00:16:27.279
know. People think that ego is good. They don't

00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:30.139
know the difference. And they and now also another

00:16:30.139 --> 00:16:33.000
thing when you were talking, I was thinking of

00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:36.860
was that sometimes people that have low self

00:16:36.860 --> 00:16:40.340
-esteem, sometimes when people say good things

00:16:40.340 --> 00:16:43.340
to them, it makes them feel good. And that's

00:16:43.340 --> 00:16:46.820
a good thing because they don't have the ability

00:16:46.820 --> 00:16:50.549
to do it themselves. They don't want to or don't

00:16:50.549 --> 00:16:53.269
have the willingness to look at themselves to

00:16:53.269 --> 00:16:56.710
raise their self -esteem. But that's only going

00:16:56.710 --> 00:17:00.009
to be temporary. That will not be a permanent

00:17:00.009 --> 00:17:02.570
fix. So I'm looking for something permanent.

00:17:03.009 --> 00:17:06.410
But another thing too is in your life and in

00:17:06.410 --> 00:17:10.089
my life too, the cards are aligned where things

00:17:10.089 --> 00:17:14.119
happened at a certain time. You were low point

00:17:14.119 --> 00:17:17.200
in your life. You weren't feeling good. And that

00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:20.640
is when you realize you created the willingness

00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:24.240
and you were able to pick yourself up and reach

00:17:24.240 --> 00:17:27.630
out for help and. different things, professional

00:17:27.630 --> 00:17:29.950
help and different things and whatever else you

00:17:29.950 --> 00:17:31.730
did, you could say it doesn't matter. But the

00:17:31.730 --> 00:17:34.650
point is that you did things to help yourself.

00:17:35.089 --> 00:17:37.849
You searched inside of yourself and you knew

00:17:37.849 --> 00:17:40.170
that something was wrong and you knew that you

00:17:40.170 --> 00:17:42.730
could do it. You could come out the other side

00:17:42.730 --> 00:17:45.150
and not only did you think you actually took

00:17:45.150 --> 00:17:49.210
the action, you took the action and you said,

00:17:49.210 --> 00:17:51.549
I'm going to do this. This is going to happen.

00:17:51.809 --> 00:17:54.069
It's going to be a good thing. And this is one

00:17:54.069 --> 00:17:56.009
of the reasons why I have this show. This is

00:17:56.009 --> 00:18:00.609
a big reason because I want people to see that

00:18:00.609 --> 00:18:02.970
there is the light at the end of the tunnel,

00:18:03.349 --> 00:18:05.690
that they could come out the other side, that

00:18:05.690 --> 00:18:08.289
everything is not going to be doom and gloom

00:18:08.289 --> 00:18:11.730
for the rest of their life. And if they think

00:18:11.730 --> 00:18:14.690
that and they want that and they want to sit

00:18:14.690 --> 00:18:17.390
in negativity for their whole entire life and

00:18:17.390 --> 00:18:20.029
be horrible and sick and suffering, then that's

00:18:20.029 --> 00:18:23.180
perfectly fine with me. I'm not looking for people

00:18:23.180 --> 00:18:26.059
that I can't help. I'm looking for people who

00:18:26.059 --> 00:18:28.920
want help. And this is just, I'm just saying

00:18:28.920 --> 00:18:32.079
one example. There are tons of examples of this.

00:18:32.500 --> 00:18:35.259
I'm just using this one example and elaborating

00:18:35.259 --> 00:18:39.380
on that. So if I want the help, I'm gonna have

00:18:39.380 --> 00:18:41.460
the willingness to get it right. And then I'm

00:18:41.460 --> 00:18:44.180
gonna seek it out. That's the thing. So, I mean,

00:18:44.180 --> 00:18:46.099
this is very, very good. Yeah, this is very good.

00:18:46.420 --> 00:18:51.259
So how do you feel today? based on everything

00:18:51.259 --> 00:18:53.680
that's happened, everything that you've told

00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:56.720
me and the positive, how you came out the other

00:18:56.720 --> 00:19:03.819
side. How do you feel this exact day to day as

00:19:03.819 --> 00:19:06.380
a result of all of that? Yeah, I feel much more

00:19:06.380 --> 00:19:08.559
prepared to deal with negative circumstances.

00:19:09.119 --> 00:19:11.299
One of those negative circumstances are things

00:19:11.299 --> 00:19:12.960
that I can't control, like things that happen

00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:17.019
with my family or something like rejection. I

00:19:17.019 --> 00:19:19.059
feel much more prepared to deal with it. And

00:19:19.059 --> 00:19:21.819
one example is I actually got my first one -star

00:19:21.819 --> 00:19:24.299
review at a children's book that I have. And

00:19:24.299 --> 00:19:27.019
man, at first I was like, wow, and it almost

00:19:27.019 --> 00:19:30.440
struck me here. But because I've dealt with that

00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:32.720
sting of rejection, because I've learned that

00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:35.359
I can't control other people, I started to think,

00:19:35.420 --> 00:19:38.019
you know what? That's just one opinion. And the

00:19:38.019 --> 00:19:41.099
only reason I was able to get there is by practice.

00:19:41.390 --> 00:19:43.650
Going over and over rehearsing these things in

00:19:43.650 --> 00:19:45.809
my mind rehearsing these scenarios and that was

00:19:45.809 --> 00:19:47.470
one thing that I will say that that so right

00:19:47.470 --> 00:19:50.210
now I think I believe that I can deal with adverse

00:19:50.210 --> 00:19:54.609
situations a lot more Easier easily and at least

00:19:54.609 --> 00:19:57.410
without doing without breaking down without saying

00:19:57.410 --> 00:20:01.269
are taking a negative output life without going

00:20:01.269 --> 00:20:03.210
and as you're talking about sulking and saying

00:20:03.210 --> 00:20:05.130
well life is just hard and it's never going to

00:20:05.130 --> 00:20:07.319
improve and If my parents did this and I'm doomed

00:20:07.319 --> 00:20:09.940
to this, I don't ascribe to that because I truly

00:20:09.940 --> 00:20:13.980
believe that I have the ability to control my

00:20:13.980 --> 00:20:15.640
perception of what's happening, because that's

00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:17.279
the only thing I truly can't control. I can't

00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:19.900
control all circumstances, but I definitely can

00:20:19.900 --> 00:20:22.420
control my perception and my reaction to what's

00:20:22.420 --> 00:20:24.619
happening around me. And I think in that case,

00:20:24.920 --> 00:20:28.619
it made me a lot more resilient and a lot better,

00:20:29.079 --> 00:20:31.720
a lot more able to deal with these situations.

00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:35.210
And quite frankly, I look forward to adverse

00:20:35.210 --> 00:20:36.750
situations, because it gives me an opportunity

00:20:36.750 --> 00:20:39.869
to practice. And more importantly, it gives me

00:20:39.869 --> 00:20:41.789
an opportunity to look back at the old me and

00:20:41.789 --> 00:20:44.309
say, man, look how far you've grown. And in some

00:20:44.309 --> 00:20:46.109
of these circumstances, and some of these ways

00:20:46.109 --> 00:20:48.470
that you would have reacted 10 years ago, or

00:20:48.470 --> 00:20:50.509
even a year ago, this is how you would have reacted.

00:20:50.890 --> 00:20:52.470
Now look where you're acting and you can see

00:20:52.470 --> 00:20:54.950
the growth that it truly does. And as you're

00:20:54.950 --> 00:20:57.920
talking about you learn to now encourage yourself

00:20:57.920 --> 00:21:00.099
and not rely on somebody else to look at you

00:21:00.099 --> 00:21:02.099
and say, man, you've grown. Now you're looking

00:21:02.099 --> 00:21:04.180
at yourself and saying, man, I've grown in such

00:21:04.180 --> 00:21:07.299
a way that I'm truly proud of myself. And that's,

00:21:07.319 --> 00:21:08.920
I truly believe that's where I am right now.

00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:13.339
It's just, it's not pride in an arrogant or boastful

00:21:13.339 --> 00:21:16.240
way, but it's proud to say that I've now seen

00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:19.440
the growth in myself and I'm excited about that

00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:22.119
growth and I'm excited to share. and hopefully

00:21:22.119 --> 00:21:24.119
help somebody else who knows who's in the same

00:21:24.119 --> 00:21:25.799
predicament or have been through circumstances

00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:27.839
to know that you're going to look back at your

00:21:27.839 --> 00:21:29.740
old self and say, man, I'm happy that I grew

00:21:29.740 --> 00:21:32.200
up. I'm proud of where I am. And I knew I could

00:21:32.200 --> 00:21:35.440
deal with life's. uncertain circumstances. Very,

00:21:35.440 --> 00:21:37.700
very good. Thank you very much. I appreciate

00:21:37.700 --> 00:21:40.740
that. As we wrap up, this conversation highlights

00:21:40.740 --> 00:21:43.779
how small internal shifts can create meaningful

00:21:43.779 --> 00:21:46.680
change. If something from today stayed with you,

00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:49.519
take a moment to reflect on how it connects to

00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:52.279
your own direction and decisions. This has been

00:21:52.279 --> 00:21:54.259
the Internal Shift Show. Thank you for listening.

00:21:54.539 --> 00:21:56.079
Thank you, Lou, for being on the show. Thank

00:21:56.079 --> 00:21:57.660
you so much for having me. It was a pleasure.