Laura Bratton: Choosing Strength Beyond Circumstances

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Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie

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Longo, Transformational Coach. This show explores

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how the way we think, decide, and respond internally

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influences where we end up over time. Today's

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conversation draws on real experience and expertise

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to look at how small internal shifts can change

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direction, momentum, and outcomes. We have a

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very special guest today, Laura Bratton. Good

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afternoon, Laura. Welcome to the show. Good afternoon.

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Thank you for the opportunity. Good thank you

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for being here so i'm gonna ask you to tell a

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little bit of your story and a event that you

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had in your life where you were in a negative

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and then you went through a process and then

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you came out on the other side the end result

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should always be positive and one of the reasons

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why i do this podcast is because everybody has

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their own individual story. And but there's something

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that people can relate to in your story somewhere.

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And when they do that, if a listener is listening,

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they can hear what you went through, what your

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process is. And now they can say, I can get through

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this. I can come out the other side. I can see

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now that there's a way out. And for whatever

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reason, they relate to it is going to result.

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Hopefully their thinking will result in a positive

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or they'll see this is the process Or maybe it's

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not as bad as I thought it was because a lot

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of times and people think that What they're sitting

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in is good and they justify The fact that everything

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is when they don't have to be that way. They

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don't have to live in that space and if they

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can see that the way that the process is or however

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they interpret what we're doing here, what the

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podcast is and what it's about and all these

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different things, they can see that that's the

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most important thing that I think that I could

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get out of this. And now what happens is that

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not only will they see there's a way out and

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everything right, but now they're gonna see that

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this is the way that I could potentially do it.

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Now, like I said, I'm a transformational coach.

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I'm not trying to sell myself. That's not what

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this podcast is about. It's not promotional,

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but it's just mainly for educational purposes.

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So somebody could realize something. Somebody

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could identify. So I'm going to ask you to do

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that. Thank you. So the experience I want to

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share was an absolute experience that changed

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every. aspect every moment from my life from

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that point forward. So it wasn't just one acute

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experience that happened and oh, then back then

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that happened. It was experience that literally

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changed my entire life forever. So as a teenager,

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I lost all of my vision. And by the time, pretty

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much by the time I graduated from high school,

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I did not have any usable vision. I have what

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I have today, some light perception, very limited

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light perception, but that's it. And going through

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that experience, I can't put to words the level

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of grief, the level of anxiety, the level of

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depression that I went through, because yes,

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I was grieving my vision loss, but I was also

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grieving that normal teenage girl experience.

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So I was grieving the fact that I wasn't getting

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able to experience so many markers that most

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teenagers are. Plus, you just have the normal

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teenage hormone emotions. So you add that into

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the mix. So as I went through this experience,

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over the years when I lost my sight, I would

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lose a lot of sight and then replato. And then

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I would lose a lot of sight, and then it would

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plateau. And so it was just a constant grief

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process. And my first emotional experience was

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denial. And then after denial, that's when the

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grief and the depression started. And the reason

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that I was able to move forward, the reason that

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I was able to regain my confidence to work through

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the grief, the anxiety, the depression, was because

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of the support around me that Didn't say their

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words, but modeled to me. We still believe in

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you. So the people that I want to speak to today

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is those people that have that life experience

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where it changes the rest of your life. It changes

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every moment. So there's not some perfect ending.

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Ta -da! I received my vision back. There's this

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great miracle and now I have 2020. So the end

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of the story is not that I regained my sight.

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The end of the story is that the story is ongoing

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and that I've learned to create a mindset and

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a perspective that helps me navigate through

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life with grit and with gratitude, even as I

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live life as a person without sight in the sighted

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world. Very good. Thank you. I appreciate that.

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When you were going through your process of losing

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your sight, and realizing that it's not there

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anymore. What were you feeling and what were

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some of the challenges that you've had as you

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were going through that process? It was the absolute

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depths of grief that cannot be put into words.

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It was a grief that I can't put into words because

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it affected every single part of my life. So

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there was nothing that wasn't affected. by my

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grief, and that grief manifested in deep, deep,

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deep depression, just debilitating depression

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and also deep anxiety, and that manifested just

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in constant panic attacks. While I was still

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trying to hold that, put up that mask and pretend,

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oh yeah, life is good, I'm positive, yeah, yeah,

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I'm just going blind, but I'm positive, it's

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all good. Still trying to pretend emotionally

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I'm fine. when I absolutely was not fine. Yeah.

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So you pretended that you were fine. And to me,

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that's a good thing. This, you know, what you

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went through, obviously is a big challenge. I

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can I can't imagine, but I can think. But if

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I if something happens or I'm thinking something

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negative and I don't think that that thing exists,

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or I tell myself it's not, or I tell myself everything

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is fine, sometimes I'm able to cancel that out.

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Now in your case, obviously, that's a different

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scenario. It doesn't work. You could cancel out

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the thought, but you can't cancel out the physical

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thing that happened to you. So the point is that

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either way now, this is one thing that I do when

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I am getting rid of negative thoughts that that

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that that's what I'm referring to here is is

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just getting rid of a negative thought. Now,

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sometimes that does fix a physical problem, but

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that is extremely difficult to do. I've done

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it before, but it's extremely difficult and it

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takes a while. to really learn that. Now I'm

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not saying that's your case. I am explaining

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that taking a negative thought and turning it

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into a positive to me is always a very good thing

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and that is something that I start with when

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I teach somebody or I coach somebody or even

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if I'm talking to a friend or something on the

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phone. And it's just a matter of taking a negative

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thought. And then what do I say? Well, I say

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the opposite of what that thought is. So if I

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say I'm ugly, I'm pretty. All's I'm gonna do

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is just say the opposite and That might make

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it feel better and then if I keep doing that

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I won't have that thought anymore But the idea

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is you have to keep doing it over and over and

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over again Now there are a lot of people that

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I know that have all kinds of disabilities I

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have like five people on my podcast on the previous

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podcast that I've had one guy has is paralyzed

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I have a lot of people on my podcast that have

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all different types of disabilities and physical

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things that are wrong. And they tell their story,

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just like you did, of how you are now and your

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process and what you went through, right, to

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get to this point. But just like them and you're

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a survivor. because we all went through this,

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whatever it is. I went through a lot of things.

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I have a lot of stories. I have a lot of examples.

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But we're all survivors because we had this thing

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happen and then we went through a process that

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was not positive. And we were able to turn that

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into even if it's a positive or not. But the

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thing is, I'm living. I'm existing. I get up

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every morning. I get dressed. I go out. And you

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mentioned about all the symptoms that were brought

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you to the depression, the anxiety. And I could

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simply tell myself that I don't have these things.

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Now, whether it's going to go away or not, that's

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completely up to me. But. I might put myself

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in a little better space than I was before I

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didn't say that. Before I told myself that the

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depression was OK. So when you were going through

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this process, right, you explained a little bit

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about the grief and stuff. How did you get through

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it? Did you have any type of professional help

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or did you just know that you needed to get out

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of this? type of mindset or did somebody just

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talk to you about it? How did that process work?

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It was a combination of a lot of different resources.

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And specifically what I mean by that is it was

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that mind, body, spirit connection. So, yes,

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I started seeing a therapist, but I also When

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I focused on what I was eating, when I ate less

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sugar and less processed food, my anxiety decreased.

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My sleep got better. When I had more of like

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an exercise routine, my sleep was better. My

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mood was better. So it was a holistic approach.

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And like I referred to the earlier, it was the

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community around me supporting me, believing

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in myself when I was in that deep anxiety, when

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I was in that deep depression. And practically

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what that looks like is every day in those high

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school years, my parents would remind me, yes,

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the future is overwhelming. Yes, the future.

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We don't know. It's uncertain. What we do know

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is we can focus on today. So getting up, getting

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dressed, getting to school on time this morning,

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that's a win for the day. That's an accomplishment.

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So they instilled in me living in the present

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and the gift of being in the present. Speaking

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of being in the present, mindfulness really,

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really helps me every single day with my perspective.

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It helps me with my thoughts. It helps with my

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breathing. It helps me to be aware of where I'm

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holding tension in my body. So it really is that

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holistic approach. And it's also just those times

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just of normalcy. I have one older brother and

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just in this high school, those worst of days,

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He just kept treating me like that little baby

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sister. He just was like, are you serious? You're

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annoying me again today. He didn't change his

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behavior toward me. He didn't start babying me

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or calling me or feeling sorry for me. Obviously,

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he made accommodations where I needed it, but

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he still kept treating me like that annoying

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little baby sister. And that was a source of

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healing for me. That was a source of saying to

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me, you are still you. Yes, you're losing your

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sight. Yes. You have to change your whole life,

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your whole world, and you're still you. And it

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was also conversations with a mentor. Well, it

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was lots of conversations with a mentor, but

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one particular conversation that I want to share

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was she invited me to start living with a mindset

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of gratitude. And being from the South and being

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a teenager, of course, I smiled and looked at

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her and nodded and said, thank you. But I thought,

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have you lost your mind? Like, I'm going blind.

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I'm anxious. I'm depressed. I had nothing to

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be grateful for. And so out of my teenage stubbornness,

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I started to focus on what do I have to be grateful

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for? To preach her. I was going to hand her back

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a sheet of papers. It was blank. I had nothing

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to be grateful for. And the one day became three

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days. The three days became a week. A week became

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a month. And what I realized is she was not saying

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be grateful for the blindness. She was teaching

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me rather to be grateful for what helps me navigate

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through the blindness. So that can be translated

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to what helps us navigate through all of life,

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through the good, through the bad, through the

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mundane. What are we grateful for for each day?

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So a practical example, she wasn't saying, but

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then today I say, gosh, I'm so thankful for this

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blindness. She was saying, I'm thankful that

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I have a guide dog that helps me navigate the

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world. So again, gratitude is not being happy,

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positive, cheerful, joy, smiley, smiley. Gratitude

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is not a way to cover up our pain and not validate

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our pain and skip over our pain. Gratitude is

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a way to acknowledge what we do have and what

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we are grateful for in the midst of all of life.

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And that mindset, combined with just the mindfulness,

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living day by day, focused on each day, that's

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what empowered me to move through the grief,

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through the anxiety. And I want to make it very

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clear, it wasn't one big magical moment. It was

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a process where I would have three panic attacks

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a day, and then two panic attacks a day, and

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then one panic attack a day, and then every other

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day. It's a very slow process, step by step.

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So I just want to encourage anyone experiencing

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a major change in their life. For me, it was

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not one magical moment where my mindset changed.

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It was small series of events of countless interactions

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with people I love, complete strangers, that

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helped me get to that point of living every day

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as a person without sight in a sighted world.

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Yeah, that was very good. Thank you. So these

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are all examples of how I have a negative mindset

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and I turn it in to a positive mindset. All these

00:15:36.059 --> 00:15:39.480
things that you're explaining, the alternative

00:15:39.480 --> 00:15:42.639
things that you've done, all these different

00:15:42.639 --> 00:15:45.759
things you're explaining and these things, whether

00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:49.700
they're gratitude, whether it's physical, mental,

00:15:50.139 --> 00:15:53.740
it doesn't matter. There's 100 different ways

00:15:53.740 --> 00:15:59.200
to get through whatever you are getting through,

00:15:59.659 --> 00:16:03.340
whether it's my guest or a listener. I don't

00:16:03.340 --> 00:16:07.080
have to sit in that negativity. But here's the

00:16:07.080 --> 00:16:10.299
thing. What the solution is and how the person

00:16:10.299 --> 00:16:13.600
goes through their process is an individual thing.

00:16:13.899 --> 00:16:17.720
So everybody might, people might say, I have

00:16:17.720 --> 00:16:21.000
gratitude, but they're gonna interpret that in

00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:25.080
their own way. And they're gonna use that word,

00:16:25.919 --> 00:16:29.080
or they're gonna use that process in their own,

00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:32.860
how they can, how they see it. When I do that,

00:16:32.980 --> 00:16:38.179
I'm turning it into my personal, individual journey.

00:16:38.379 --> 00:16:42.639
And when that happens, then I could really see

00:16:42.799 --> 00:16:46.059
that I'm gonna come out the other side. So we're

00:16:46.059 --> 00:16:51.200
doing this just so somebody can see I have this

00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:54.139
and now this person did this. Maybe I could try

00:16:54.139 --> 00:16:58.799
that. And then it snowballs into their own thing.

00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:02.879
Now I have different definitions, right, of what

00:17:02.879 --> 00:17:06.859
gratitude is than what you said. And only because

00:17:06.859 --> 00:17:10.900
I have, I practice gratitude also. But my process,

00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:14.119
the way that I see gratitude and the way that

00:17:14.119 --> 00:17:16.880
I interpret it every day is a little bit different

00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:20.259
than yours. It's similar, but it's not exactly

00:17:20.259 --> 00:17:23.589
the same. And that's what I'm trying to explain

00:17:23.589 --> 00:17:26.690
because either way the end result is it's going

00:17:26.690 --> 00:17:29.230
to either work or not. I'm going to sit in the

00:17:29.230 --> 00:17:32.150
negative. And if if nothing is going to turn

00:17:32.150 --> 00:17:34.730
that into a positive, then what I'm doing is

00:17:34.730 --> 00:17:37.029
not working because I'm still sitting in the

00:17:37.029 --> 00:17:40.970
negative. And if I go into a depression or if

00:17:40.970 --> 00:17:44.130
I have physical problems where I can't move,

00:17:44.289 --> 00:17:47.210
I can't get out of bed because there are a lot

00:17:47.210 --> 00:17:50.079
of people. Tons of people who are handicapped

00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:52.859
in all different ways and they have no problems

00:17:52.859 --> 00:17:55.519
with life. They get out of bed. They get dressed.

00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:59.059
I know a man who is a paraplegic and he's a teacher.

00:17:59.180 --> 00:18:02.079
He teaches at a university and he's in a wheelchair.

00:18:02.319 --> 00:18:05.900
He's a very, very, very smart man. Really intelligent.

00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:09.220
Anybody can do anything. And I don't believe

00:18:09.220 --> 00:18:13.119
that people have to stay stuck. And just because

00:18:13.119 --> 00:18:16.569
they have a disability or a trauma. or anything

00:18:16.569 --> 00:18:20.509
that somebody could identify as sitting in the

00:18:20.509 --> 00:18:23.509
negative in any way, shape or form. I do not

00:18:23.509 --> 00:18:26.390
believe that that has to control their life and

00:18:26.390 --> 00:18:30.950
they have to sit in that right forever or even

00:18:30.950 --> 00:18:34.750
for today or for the next 10 minutes. And this

00:18:34.750 --> 00:18:36.190
is the whole thing. This is what we're trying

00:18:36.190 --> 00:18:39.329
to show here. So this is very, very good. So

00:18:39.329 --> 00:18:43.009
how do you feel today? How do you feel right

00:18:43.009 --> 00:18:47.150
now as a result of everything we just spoke about

00:18:47.150 --> 00:18:50.329
this whole podcast. So today, living in that

00:18:50.329 --> 00:18:53.950
mindset of the mindfulness and having that grit

00:18:53.950 --> 00:18:57.809
of acknowledging the difficult, the painful reality

00:18:57.809 --> 00:19:00.910
that is really, really difficult. And I have

00:19:00.910 --> 00:19:04.329
a choice every day. I have the choice. What am

00:19:04.329 --> 00:19:08.970
I going to do with this reality to the mindset

00:19:08.970 --> 00:19:13.180
where I am? As you asked, how am I today? I have

00:19:13.180 --> 00:19:16.460
that sense of self -love, that sense of self

00:19:16.460 --> 00:19:20.559
-compassion, that renewed confidence that I'm

00:19:20.559 --> 00:19:23.819
me, I'm comfortable with my own skin, I am who

00:19:23.819 --> 00:19:28.000
I am, and that's a daily choice. So it's not

00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:30.700
a one -time decision of, I made that eight years

00:19:30.700 --> 00:19:34.119
ago on June 2nd, blah -blah time, blah -blah

00:19:34.119 --> 00:19:38.460
place. But for me, it's that daily choice I choose

00:19:38.460 --> 00:19:41.900
every single day to have this mindset, to have

00:19:41.900 --> 00:19:46.140
this perspective, even. in my situation. Yes,

00:19:46.140 --> 00:19:48.460
and that's very good. That was a very good way

00:19:48.460 --> 00:19:51.559
to close. Thank you very much. So as we close,

00:19:51.720 --> 00:19:53.960
this conversation is a reminder that progress

00:19:53.960 --> 00:19:56.660
really comes from one big decision, but from

00:19:56.660 --> 00:19:59.359
the internal choices we repeat. If something

00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:01.839
from today's discussion connected with you, take

00:20:01.839 --> 00:20:04.059
a moment to notice how those internal choices

00:20:04.059 --> 00:20:06.180
showed up in your own life. This has been the

00:20:06.180 --> 00:20:07.799
internal shift show. Thank you for listening

00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:09.519
and thank you, Laura, for being on the show.

00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:10.740
I appreciate it.