Stroke to Strength Chip Scholz

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Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie

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Longo. This show looks at how internal choices

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we make influence the direction our lives work

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and take. Today's conversation brings real experience

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into that space, exploring how internal shifts

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quietly change outcomes over time. We have a

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very special guest today, Chip Sulz. Good afternoon,

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Chip. Welcome to the show. Hey, Debbie, how are

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you? Doing good. So I would like to ask you to

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tell a little bit about your story and what negative

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or traumatic situation happened in your past

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and how you got through it. and what was the

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positive end result. And the point to this is

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that we want the listeners to be able to identify

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with the thing, the situation, and whatever you

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say, because we want to show that there is a

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way out if the listener is stuck in this type

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of situation, or even one that was similar, if

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they could identify with some part of your story,

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and now the listener can say, I can get through

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this and turn it into a positive. Debbie, I've

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lived a long time. And when you live a long time,

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everybody would love to live a blessed life and

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no rain should fall, but that isn't the way it

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goes. My first marriage was failed. It was 10

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months. She really liked sex. She just didn't

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like it with me. And that was a problem for the

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marriage. And over the course of, I think in

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five years, they had the top 10. stressors in

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somebody's life. And over the course of five

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years, I had every stressor. Divorce, my parents

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died, and it just had a change of location, change

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of jobs, all that kind of stuff. So we go through

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all this years after years after years. So fast

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forward to 1999 or 1998, and I got laid off by

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a company that I worked for for 12 years. It

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would have been nice to say that we had a parting

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of the ways, but it was not. So all of a sudden

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I was in LA. I did not grow up in LA. My wife

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did not grow up in LA. And I was in LA and my

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wife asked me, well, what do you want to do?

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And I said, well, I don't want to do it here.

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So we decided to pick up and move to North Carolina.

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27 years ago, we moved to North Carolina and

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started over and just started our lives over.

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She took a different path with her. occupation,

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and I did the same. I hung a shingle and said,

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yesterday I couldn't spell consultant, today

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I R1. And it was tough. The first five years

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were really tough. Then I started catching some

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traction. I started doing really well. Got some

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really great clients. I got some fairly big companies

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that were clients of mine. And I was flying high.

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In 2012, It was to the point where I was spending

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200 nights a year in a hotel. I was on more flights

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than most pilots are on. And I had let myself

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get out of control. I looked at a video, I just

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saw a video the other day of me back in 2008

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and 350 pounds, full on diabetes that I wasn't

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keeping very good control on, full on cholesterol,

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all of that kind of stuff. I was doing really

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well. I was working really hard. I wasn't sleeping

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more than four hours a night. I was just, I was

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running and gunning. And March 29th, 2012, I

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had a stroke. It's one of those things where

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God taps you on the shoulder and says, hey, I

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think it's time for you to slow down. I was,

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I came out of that with some aphasia. So I was

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paralyzed on my right side, lasted a couple months.

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It's funny when you talk about overcoming misfortune.

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I mean, this is Obviously, it was self -induced.

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Obviously, I brought it on myself. Honestly,

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I have nobody to blame but me or maybe genetics

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or whatever. But you have a choice. And the choice

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is whether you give in and curl up in a ball

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and die or you do something about it. Thankfully,

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it was a mild stroke, although the effects of

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it were not. Before the stroke, I was reading

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two books a week. after the stroke, I couldn't

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get through a paragraph without without stopping

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and trying to figure out what it said. I only

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had one woe is me moment. I only had one that

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I remembered that I said, why is this happening

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to me? And my mantra, which had served me pretty

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well in business, now became a part of my life.

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And the mantra was failure is not an option.

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I mean, we're not a failure when we fail. Failure

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is just a lead to another another reality, another

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situation. And so I knew it was going to be tough.

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I knew it was going to be not easy. I slept for

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the first two weeks after I got home. I was actually

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in Florida on a business trip. That's a call

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that no wife would ever like to get or no spouse

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would ever like to get. And she came down, collected

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me, brought me back home. I slept for the first

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couple of weeks. Over the course of the next

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12 months, I lost 110 pounds. I could not walk

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around the block when I got home. I started walking,

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and before long, I was walking five or 10 miles.

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In fact, everything's an app. So on the tracking

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app, I walked 3 ,500 miles in the first two years

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after the stroke and continued to do it to this

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day 14 years later, the 14 years in March. And

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so it's all mindset, isn't it? It's all mindset.

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It's how you approach it. Bad things have happened.

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The death of my parents. My dad was 51. My mom

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was 56. When they died, I was an orphan at 30.

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Bad things happen. How do you recover? And that's

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really the best part about this is that recovery

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is possible. In fact, recovery really is inevitable.

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Everybody loves a good redemption story. I think

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one of the most popular movies of all time was

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the Shawshank Redemption. And it was a good redemption

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story. And so I guess that's the lesson I had

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out of. of all of this. I got remarried. My wife

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and I have been married for 41 years. We have

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three beautiful daughters and a great life. And

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after the stroke, I slept eight to nine hours

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a day and have continued that. I haven't let

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business get in the way of taking care of myself.

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I hope that's an interesting story to you. Yes,

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very, very good. Thank you. I really appreciate

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it so far. How did you come to this knowledge

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and this conclusion that you needed to change,

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make all these changes? Did you have extra help?

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Did you have professionals helping you? Did you

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just know what to do, self -help, different things?

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What was the thought process behind? What was

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your process about in detail? I'm an executive

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coach by trade and by training. Have been for

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27 years and In that time, I've worked with a

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huge number of people. And one of the things

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that I have created is I've created this framework

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for how do we change. And to me, leadership is

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not how you lead others. Leadership is how you

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lead yourself. So this framework is a way of

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leading yourself. And it's context, which is

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what's happening with you. What is your life

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like? What does it look like right now? Clarity,

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which is understanding in no uncertain terms

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what you want. Conditioning, which is getting

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your mind right, changing your mind to do the

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things you need to do. Choice, which is about

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making sure that you understand the behaviors

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that come out of the conditioning. And character,

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which is about putting it all together, about

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personal accountability, about doing the right

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thing. And so I call it the five Cs. Well, I

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developed that. I used it with clients. and I

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never in a million years would know how important

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it became to me. And that was the framework that

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I used coming out of the stroke. So what's my

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context? Well, I weighed a lot. My health sucked,

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but I was alive and I was still able to do some

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things. So that was my context. The clarity was

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I wanted to be healthy. I never considered that

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I wouldn't be back to health. I never considered

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for a minute that I wasn't going to survive and

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thrive. In fact, it was funny, I went to a doctor

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about three months after the stroke and he looked

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at me and he said, well, he said, you've got

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just about what you get. And secretly I said,

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screw yourself. I didn't believe him. I didn't

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like that. And it's funny, I kept him as a doctor

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for about 10 years and that just stuck in my

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craw the whole time I was with him. I recovered

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and I used that framework, the clarity, the conditioning,

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which is how do I change my mind? One of the

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things that happens when you lose a lot of weight

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is all of a sudden you have to go from thinking

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like a heavy person to thinking like a thin person.

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And that's a bit of a difference about the way

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you eat, about the way that you exercise and

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do the things you knew. Choice was was planning

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things out. I have this thing called a waypoint

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document that helps people plan the actions out.

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And then it's about living it. It's about being

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true to yourself and living it. The other thing

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is about a year after I had the stroke, my wife

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bought me a lathe, wood lathe, and I just took

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to it. And there was something about the lathe

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and with a 30 pound spinning piece. In fact,

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most of this up behind me is things that I've

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made. But there's something about that piece

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of wood that wants to take your head off that

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you have to pay attention and the body movements

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and the way you move your hands and how you deal

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with cuts and all of that kind of stuff. There

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was something about it that really Change something

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in me now. I will talk about one other thing

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They don't tell you that when you have a stroke

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your your emotions get all screwed up. I mean

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really badly and I had this horrible anxiety

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just just gut -wrenching Twisting some anxiety

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and I would just get myself twist around the

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axle when somebody said something or somebody

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did something or whatever and and talking about

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seeing a professional, I actually saw a therapist

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for a couple of years to get some strategies

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to be able to handle the anxiety. Makes sense.

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Thank you very much for that. I appreciate it.

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So there are a few things here, all these different

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things that you were describing about your life

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path and how you got past it and everything.

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So. I'm curious to know, well, there's a few

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things. The first thing is that one thing that

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I teach is that not only do I want to find, literally

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find, the negative things that happen in my life,

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because sometimes I sit in something and I don't

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know that it's hurting me or bothering me. or

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making me sad, sometimes I'm in an abusive relationship

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or whatever. And these things that you're describing

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to me, I'm not trying to tell your story or anything,

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but to me, are not positive. And that's the reason

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for this show, because we're talking about where

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you were and how far you came and what was the

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end result. So not only am I asking the listener

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to be able to relate to that, if possible, But

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what can we get out of this story out of any

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point in this story? If the listener doesn't

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have anxiety or the listener doesn't have something,

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what the thing is, there is something in this

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point, any time in this story that somebody can

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relate to. And why is that? Because we repeat

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a lot of. different points and experiences in

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our lives. Now, one of the reasons why we do

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that is I believe because that if somebody goes

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through something, let's just use me for an example.

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If I go through something and I don't learn the

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lesson, let's say I get into a car accident and

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I know that I have to quit my job and I knew

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10 years before. I got into the car accident.

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I had to quit my job, but I didn't want to. Well,

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the car accident now forced me to quit my job

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because I can't work at the job anymore because

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I'm physically not capable. So there's always

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and you explain this, I think. So there's a lot

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of times is something that forces me to change.

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But the question is for me, am I able to see

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that? And am I going to go back into the situation

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again? And that's where I'm saying just little

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signs here and there. Am I able to learn the

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lesson from when that lesson presents itself

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rather than me saying, oh, it's not a big deal.

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It's never going to happen again or whatever

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denial or excuse that I want to make. because

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then what's gonna happen again is that the lesson

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is gonna repeat. And this is not a theory. You

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can look it up. This will keep repeating until

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I learn the lesson and it will stop. This is

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a fact. This is scientifically proven. You could

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look it up anywhere. This is not something I'm

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making up. But these are some of the things I

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teach. And like I said, you have your own...

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way that you went through things and you're explaining

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about the help you got. Right. And that you just

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knew to do these things, which is a lot of guests

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that I have. This was what it was. This they

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just knew to do it. So this is my question. Am

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I or the listener or you can answer? It doesn't

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matter. Am I in tune with myself to know that

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something presents itself, which nine times out

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of 10, it's negative. because we're talking about

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learning a lesson or something. I'm just giving

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one example. There's tons of examples of this,

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okay? Just giving one idea, one thing. Am I in

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tune with myself to know that if something presents

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itself to me, just so I could learn a lesson,

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and am I going to accept that? Am I willing?

00:15:11.480 --> 00:15:14.799
Am I able to create the willingness to accept

00:15:14.799 --> 00:15:17.360
that fact that I need to learn that lesson and

00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:19.840
move on, and that's how I'm gonna move forward?

00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:22.100
Because if I... don't, I'm going to get stuck

00:15:22.100 --> 00:15:25.019
and nobody stands still. And then I'm going to

00:15:25.019 --> 00:15:27.240
wind up going backwards in my life. And what's

00:15:27.240 --> 00:15:29.440
going to happen then? I'm going to sit in negativity,

00:15:29.659 --> 00:15:32.399
in depression, exactly what you said about your

00:15:32.399 --> 00:15:37.139
story. And that's why I have all of this show

00:15:37.139 --> 00:15:40.039
and all these guests on the show with different

00:15:40.039 --> 00:15:42.740
stories and different things that happened to

00:15:42.740 --> 00:15:46.139
them. Because this, to me, was kind of what you

00:15:46.139 --> 00:15:48.559
said in a way. It was similar to what you said.

00:15:49.379 --> 00:15:51.820
because, I'm just gonna use me as an example,

00:15:52.159 --> 00:15:56.940
I wanna know even if I don't know or I don't

00:15:56.940 --> 00:15:59.340
wanna change, let's say I don't want to, let's

00:15:59.340 --> 00:16:01.460
say I don't just make an excuse or whatever,

00:16:02.279 --> 00:16:05.679
then am I even willing, just a little bit, a

00:16:05.679 --> 00:16:09.080
teeny bit willing, just to say, let me see what

00:16:09.080 --> 00:16:11.879
this is about, something happened in my life,

00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:14.759
let me see what this means, what is this telling

00:16:14.759 --> 00:16:18.419
me? Let me ask somebody. Let me ask a friend.

00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:21.980
Let me ask somebody. Listen to my voice or whatever.

00:16:22.059 --> 00:16:24.000
I don't want to, wouldn't say that, but because

00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:27.200
they're negative. So listen to somebody or get

00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:30.679
help and let me sit there and I'll evaluate that.

00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:34.179
And then I'll say, okay, this person said this

00:16:34.179 --> 00:16:37.279
or I'm thinking about this and I thought about

00:16:37.279 --> 00:16:41.100
it and I don't know. Maybe I want to do this

00:16:41.100 --> 00:16:43.279
with this person suggests that maybe I don't.

00:16:43.340 --> 00:16:45.620
and now making the decision. And when I make

00:16:45.620 --> 00:16:47.899
that decision, now I go on a different path.

00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:50.279
So there's a path if I make a decision to change,

00:16:50.539 --> 00:16:52.299
and there's a path if I don't make a decision

00:16:52.299 --> 00:16:54.480
to change. And guess what? You just told that

00:16:54.480 --> 00:16:58.200
in your story. That exact thing. Exactly, exactly,

00:16:58.340 --> 00:17:00.559
exactly. You just told that in your story. Have

00:17:00.559 --> 00:17:02.779
you ever heard of an author called Poe Bronson?

00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:06.119
No. Poe Bronson wrote a book several years ago.

00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:09.740
What should I do with my life? And then he wrote

00:17:09.740 --> 00:17:12.240
a companion piece a few years later, it was in

00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:14.700
Fast Company, and he had a number of points he

00:17:14.700 --> 00:17:17.599
made. But the one thing that rings really true

00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:22.769
to me is he said, we are... rarely the author

00:17:22.769 --> 00:17:25.430
of our own change. Isn't that interesting? We

00:17:25.430 --> 00:17:28.029
are rarely the author of our own change. Yeah,

00:17:28.029 --> 00:17:29.569
because we don't know what's going to happen.

00:17:29.869 --> 00:17:32.849
Well, see, and so I look back and when I got

00:17:32.849 --> 00:17:35.269
laid off in 98, I didn't know what was going

00:17:35.269 --> 00:17:37.470
to happen. And I could take it positively or

00:17:37.470 --> 00:17:39.869
I could take it negatively when I had the stroke.

00:17:39.990 --> 00:17:42.069
I mean, it caused me to change and all that kind

00:17:42.069 --> 00:17:43.990
of stuff. So I think that's really interesting.

00:17:44.410 --> 00:17:48.690
The second thing is Dr. Dean Nadel, several years

00:17:48.690 --> 00:17:52.480
ago, did a study. And he did a study of heart

00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:56.299
patients and he found that 90 percent of heart

00:17:56.299 --> 00:17:59.400
patients were either back on the table or dead

00:17:59.400 --> 00:18:02.700
in three years because they didn't make any meaningful

00:18:02.700 --> 00:18:06.019
changes in their life. Isn't that sad? That is

00:18:06.019 --> 00:18:09.039
that is ridiculously sad. I mean, and that's

00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:11.119
their that's their choice. That's their decision.

00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:13.799
That's nobody else's decision, but theirs. My

00:18:13.799 --> 00:18:16.500
thought is that people should seek professional

00:18:16.500 --> 00:18:18.460
health, that if it's if it's somebody like you

00:18:18.460 --> 00:18:21.240
or somebody like me, I'm your behavioral change

00:18:21.240 --> 00:18:24.619
coach. The things we do in our profession is

00:18:24.619 --> 00:18:29.160
we help surface things for people to do something

00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:31.299
with. They still have to do something with it.

00:18:31.380 --> 00:18:34.259
I mean, I don't live in anybody's skin, but they

00:18:34.259 --> 00:18:36.259
still have to do something with it. And whether

00:18:36.259 --> 00:18:38.900
they do something with it or don't, it's up to

00:18:38.900 --> 00:18:43.099
them. But again, 90 % of heart patients are dead

00:18:43.099 --> 00:18:46.319
or on the table in three years because they haven't.

00:18:46.329 --> 00:18:48.309
They haven't stopped eating corned beef sandwiches.

00:18:48.630 --> 00:18:51.990
And just how ridiculous is that? Yeah. I know

00:18:51.990 --> 00:18:55.970
people that have emphysema and they smoked right

00:18:55.970 --> 00:18:59.670
until the day they were dead. I also know people

00:18:59.670 --> 00:19:03.009
that have emphysema and asthma that stop smoking

00:19:03.009 --> 00:19:06.069
that learn their lesson. So this is really an

00:19:06.069 --> 00:19:10.430
individual decision. This is an individual choice

00:19:10.430 --> 00:19:13.910
and this is up to the person. I'm here. I'll

00:19:13.910 --> 00:19:16.589
help anybody. I don't care who you are. Okay,

00:19:16.609 --> 00:19:18.630
I don't care about your past. You're gonna tell

00:19:18.630 --> 00:19:21.309
me obviously if you want to because that's gonna

00:19:21.309 --> 00:19:23.970
help me Right coach you but I don't really it

00:19:23.970 --> 00:19:26.529
doesn't matter to me who you are the fact is

00:19:26.529 --> 00:19:29.430
is that you come to me willingly and you want

00:19:29.430 --> 00:19:31.410
to change and you want to tell me this this and

00:19:31.410 --> 00:19:34.230
this and That will help you in your future. That

00:19:34.230 --> 00:19:36.109
will help you give you give yourself a better

00:19:36.109 --> 00:19:38.970
life So you want a better life after you have

00:19:38.970 --> 00:19:41.490
a heart attack? Or do you want to have the same

00:19:41.490 --> 00:19:44.069
life and have another heart attack and then your

00:19:44.069 --> 00:19:46.170
life will be worse? Because you're more sick

00:19:46.170 --> 00:19:48.230
and then you don't stop and then you have another

00:19:48.230 --> 00:19:50.009
one and then your life gets worse and worse Do

00:19:50.009 --> 00:19:51.849
you want to sit around watching beat the clock?

00:19:51.890 --> 00:19:54.410
That's what you're asking is if your big time

00:19:54.410 --> 00:19:57.309
is watching sitting around and watching hollywood

00:19:57.309 --> 00:20:00.170
square And I don't know what shows are on I don't

00:20:00.170 --> 00:20:03.289
watch that much tv, but my mother -in -law Well,

00:20:03.289 --> 00:20:05.130
she watched jeopardy and then she watched the

00:20:05.130 --> 00:20:07.950
other one and she did that religiously every

00:20:07.950 --> 00:20:09.789
night And of course she was going hard of hearing

00:20:09.789 --> 00:20:13.250
so she had it turned up as high as it can but

00:20:13.250 --> 00:20:18.690
if i'm recovering Do I see my future as one positive

00:20:18.690 --> 00:20:21.910
or do I see my future as a negative? I've got

00:20:21.910 --> 00:20:25.569
a friend of mine that had a stroke and they found

00:20:25.569 --> 00:20:29.049
him face down in a park a lot and somebody called

00:20:29.049 --> 00:20:34.230
911 and he had some severe deficits. And I think

00:20:34.230 --> 00:20:36.930
that's seven, eight, maybe 10 years ago, and

00:20:36.930 --> 00:20:40.009
he's doing wonderfully now. He had that mindset

00:20:40.009 --> 00:20:44.710
that it wasn't going to stop him. And so he rides

00:20:44.710 --> 00:20:48.170
a recumbent bike. He splits his time between

00:20:48.170 --> 00:20:50.809
Michigan and Arizona, but he rides a recumbent

00:20:50.809 --> 00:20:54.849
bike. He and his wife have offloaded a lot of

00:20:54.849 --> 00:20:58.609
responsibilities and he's doing fabulously, but

00:20:58.609 --> 00:21:01.329
that is a choice. You can either stew in your

00:21:01.329 --> 00:21:04.690
own juices or turn off the stove and walk away.

00:21:04.990 --> 00:21:07.430
Yes, that was very good. Thank you. So the last

00:21:07.430 --> 00:21:12.039
question is. How do you feel today based on everything

00:21:12.039 --> 00:21:15.140
that we've said and the result? Obviously that

00:21:15.140 --> 00:21:17.799
you have explained how you came out the other

00:21:17.799 --> 00:21:20.960
side and the positive result. How do you feel

00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:24.640
today from all of that? Well, Debbie, I feel

00:21:24.640 --> 00:21:28.920
great. I couldn't do what I do on a daily basis

00:21:28.920 --> 00:21:32.099
without without feeling good. I talk to people

00:21:32.099 --> 00:21:35.000
all over the world and I've got I've got clients

00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:38.529
and. Malaysia, clients in the Philippines, clients

00:21:38.529 --> 00:21:41.849
all over. And I couldn't do what I do unless

00:21:41.849 --> 00:21:46.890
I'm positive. Because listen, life throws a lot

00:21:46.890 --> 00:21:49.329
of crap sandwiches your way. It's what do you

00:21:49.329 --> 00:21:51.750
decide to do? You decide to eat or you decide

00:21:51.750 --> 00:21:54.450
to wrap it up and put it in the trash. That's

00:21:54.450 --> 00:21:56.950
basic mindset, but you can get that basic mindset.

00:21:57.049 --> 00:21:59.730
You can grow that basic mindset. And that's the

00:21:59.730 --> 00:22:02.670
really important part. is that look, just because

00:22:02.670 --> 00:22:04.630
something bad happens to you, your life isn't

00:22:04.630 --> 00:22:08.150
over. Life will go on. The one, and I know this,

00:22:08.490 --> 00:22:12.170
but the one really amazing thing about human

00:22:12.170 --> 00:22:15.049
beings is our ability to forget. And in fact,

00:22:15.170 --> 00:22:17.250
with those people that have didactic memories,

00:22:17.910 --> 00:22:20.390
they're not able to forget and their life is

00:22:20.390 --> 00:22:22.549
kind of miserable because they're not able to

00:22:22.549 --> 00:22:26.269
forget. But when they talk about PTSD, PTSD is

00:22:26.269 --> 00:22:30.500
caused by the inability to forget. a traumatic

00:22:30.500 --> 00:22:34.180
incident. But God, we forget a lot of stuff and

00:22:34.180 --> 00:22:38.099
isn't that a blessing? There was a guy who was

00:22:38.099 --> 00:22:40.500
one of the editors, I think he was Fast Company

00:22:40.500 --> 00:22:44.279
or one of those, and he hung a camera around

00:22:44.279 --> 00:22:48.559
his neck and he had a recording device and he

00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:52.039
downloaded every picture from his past and from

00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:57.210
everything in a file. And for two years, He recorded

00:22:57.210 --> 00:22:59.809
everything. The one takeaway that I remember

00:22:59.809 --> 00:23:02.950
from the article that he wrote is he said, I

00:23:02.950 --> 00:23:06.210
wasn't able to forget anything and isn't that

00:23:06.210 --> 00:23:08.730
a shame. You can forget. You can forget all the

00:23:08.730 --> 00:23:12.329
bad stuff. Anyway, interesting. OK, so that was

00:23:12.329 --> 00:23:16.289
a very good closing. So anyway, as we wrap up

00:23:16.289 --> 00:23:19.109
this conversation, highlights how small internal

00:23:19.109 --> 00:23:21.789
shifts can create meaningful change. If something

00:23:21.789 --> 00:23:24.250
from today stayed with you, take a moment to

00:23:24.250 --> 00:23:26.490
reflect on how it connects to your own directions

00:23:26.490 --> 00:23:29.069
and decisions. This has been the internal shift

00:23:29.069 --> 00:23:31.650
show. Thank you for listening and thank you for

00:23:31.650 --> 00:23:34.049
being on the show. I really appreciate it. Thank

00:23:34.049 --> 00:23:35.569
you, Debbie. I appreciate it too.