Randy Bishop Toward Resilience

WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.720
Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie

00:00:02.720 --> 00:00:05.620
Longo, Transformational Coach. This show looks

00:00:05.620 --> 00:00:08.439
at how the internal choices we make influence

00:00:08.439 --> 00:00:11.179
the direction our lives and work take. Today's

00:00:11.179 --> 00:00:13.500
conversation brings real experience into that

00:00:13.500 --> 00:00:16.820
space, exploring how internal shifts quietly

00:00:16.820 --> 00:00:20.019
change outcomes over time. We have a very special

00:00:20.019 --> 00:00:22.460
guest today, Randy Bishop. Randy, good evening.

00:00:22.500 --> 00:00:24.440
Thank you for being on the show. Thank you very

00:00:24.440 --> 00:00:25.980
much for having me, Debbie. It's a pleasure being

00:00:25.980 --> 00:00:28.879
here. Thank you. I wanted to talk a little bit

00:00:28.879 --> 00:00:32.799
about your story and some things that happened

00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:35.939
to you, anything that was negative, maybe a traumatic

00:00:35.939 --> 00:00:39.039
experience or some type of life experience or

00:00:39.039 --> 00:00:41.719
something that happened and the way that you

00:00:41.719 --> 00:00:44.979
came out on the other side. So that negative

00:00:44.979 --> 00:00:49.359
scenario or example turned into a positive. And

00:00:49.359 --> 00:00:51.740
that's really all that we're asking for here

00:00:51.740 --> 00:00:55.219
because what's in the middle is going to be what

00:00:55.219 --> 00:00:57.520
you say. So you want me to head off and do it?

00:00:57.979 --> 00:01:00.700
So here we go. So I'll tell you what, it started

00:01:00.700 --> 00:01:02.840
a long time ago. I got married when I was 20

00:01:02.840 --> 00:01:06.780
years old, and from the get -go in that marriage,

00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:09.060
I had nothing but trouble. And I was a 20 -year

00:01:09.060 --> 00:01:11.540
-old kid from the country, and I'd gone to Bible

00:01:11.540 --> 00:01:14.260
college, and I met a gal, and I don't want to

00:01:14.260 --> 00:01:16.840
pan my kid's mother, but I ended up being married

00:01:16.840 --> 00:01:20.099
for 30 years. And it was very, very difficult,

00:01:20.120 --> 00:01:23.939
30 years, on top of her being in counseling for

00:01:23.939 --> 00:01:26.459
the better part of 30 years, and just nothing

00:01:26.459 --> 00:01:29.760
ever got better. And I was constantly just pouring

00:01:29.760 --> 00:01:31.659
in and pouring in. And what I've learned over

00:01:31.659 --> 00:01:35.060
my entire life is that I have poured into a whole

00:01:35.060 --> 00:01:37.659
lot of people, and I didn't have a whole lot

00:01:37.659 --> 00:01:41.239
poured back into. And so I remember one time,

00:01:41.879 --> 00:01:46.060
just an argument with this, my ex -wife and just

00:01:46.060 --> 00:01:49.219
saying, It's not that there's one big thing.

00:01:49.379 --> 00:01:52.140
It's just that I've been pinpricked a million

00:01:52.140 --> 00:01:56.560
times, and I'm just empty. I'm just empty. And

00:01:56.560 --> 00:01:59.019
part of the process of my life at that time was

00:01:59.019 --> 00:02:01.939
I've been a musician my whole life and trying

00:02:01.939 --> 00:02:03.939
and struggling. That's not an easy career to

00:02:03.939 --> 00:02:07.140
have, but ended up moving into ministry and doing

00:02:07.140 --> 00:02:09.800
music in church, which is a thankless job oftentimes.

00:02:10.199 --> 00:02:13.250
And sometimes Having people who were control

00:02:13.250 --> 00:02:15.090
freaks kind of being in charge of what you're

00:02:15.090 --> 00:02:18.289
doing and so then I was getting hit at home and

00:02:18.289 --> 00:02:21.009
then I was getting hit at work and the place

00:02:21.009 --> 00:02:23.669
that I'm supposed to be the safest and I just

00:02:23.669 --> 00:02:26.990
One day after 30 years. I just I had to say I

00:02:26.990 --> 00:02:30.569
can't do this anymore and that began the first

00:02:30.569 --> 00:02:33.800
step of my process to say I've got to do something

00:02:33.800 --> 00:02:36.039
better. I've got to do something different. And

00:02:36.039 --> 00:02:39.319
I moved away from that. And it was not easy.

00:02:39.740 --> 00:02:43.199
It was not easy to stand up for myself. I'm not

00:02:43.199 --> 00:02:45.840
even sure I had my process down other than just

00:02:45.840 --> 00:02:49.180
enough strength to move on and move forward.

00:02:50.020 --> 00:02:54.860
Did you do this by yourself? Did you have any

00:02:54.860 --> 00:02:59.740
type of guidance? or help or any type of self

00:02:59.740 --> 00:03:04.219
knowledge to know that you needed to come out

00:03:04.219 --> 00:03:07.539
on the other side or do something different or

00:03:07.539 --> 00:03:11.479
change what you were doing or create an awareness

00:03:11.479 --> 00:03:15.300
or a willingness in some type of way. That's

00:03:15.300 --> 00:03:17.680
a big point that we're trying to make here only

00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:22.060
because this to me is the first step in what

00:03:22.060 --> 00:03:24.819
I need to do. I had little points along the way

00:03:24.819 --> 00:03:27.219
where I realized that there were times where

00:03:27.219 --> 00:03:30.219
I was not with my wife that I was happy. And

00:03:30.219 --> 00:03:32.819
I was just weighing those things, going, why

00:03:32.819 --> 00:03:35.520
is life like this? And then I'd go to work where

00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:37.479
I was supposed to be happy. I was in ministry

00:03:37.479 --> 00:03:40.419
for a long, long time, and it should be a really

00:03:40.419 --> 00:03:43.240
happy, great place to work. And I was great when

00:03:43.240 --> 00:03:45.819
I was on stage and I was leading on a Sunday.

00:03:45.879 --> 00:03:47.719
I was great when I was dealing with people one

00:03:47.719 --> 00:03:50.219
-on -one, but I hated being in the office. I

00:03:50.219 --> 00:03:54.270
hated the almost toxic atmosphere that I was

00:03:54.270 --> 00:03:57.770
surrounded by. Again, I ended up toward the end

00:03:57.770 --> 00:04:01.909
of the first ministry job I had, I ended up,

00:04:02.409 --> 00:04:05.050
I'm an eater. I like to eat. I don't drink. I

00:04:05.050 --> 00:04:07.729
don't smoke. I like to eat. I ate like three

00:04:07.729 --> 00:04:09.949
meals in a row, watched two or three movies at

00:04:09.949 --> 00:04:12.310
the local theater, and I ended up calling a friend

00:04:12.310 --> 00:04:14.650
of mine and saying, I am about to get on the

00:04:14.650 --> 00:04:17.670
highway and just drive away. I am, I am so fed

00:04:17.670 --> 00:04:20.670
up and my friend said, what do I need to do for

00:04:20.670 --> 00:04:22.449
you? And I said, you need to call my wife and

00:04:22.449 --> 00:04:25.209
you need to say, if he comes home, he needs to

00:04:25.209 --> 00:04:27.430
quit his job and you need to quit arguing with

00:04:27.430 --> 00:04:29.910
him. But I'm not even sure I'm going home. And

00:04:29.910 --> 00:04:32.170
so my friend ended up making calls and saying,

00:04:32.269 --> 00:04:34.490
listen, go home. And I ended up doing by just

00:04:34.490 --> 00:04:37.439
that. Now it didn't, it was a bandaid. But it

00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:40.259
was that first step of realization that I'm kind

00:04:40.259 --> 00:04:44.680
of going crazy. I don't see anywhere who I am.

00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:49.160
It lines up with who I am inside. And so years

00:04:49.160 --> 00:04:51.959
of this years and just a little bit of better

00:04:51.959 --> 00:04:53.839
and then a lot of worse and then a little bit

00:04:53.839 --> 00:04:56.319
of better and a lot of worse. So those moments

00:04:56.319 --> 00:04:58.980
of clarity, those moments of wow, when I'm not

00:04:58.980 --> 00:05:01.000
around this person or when I'm not around this

00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:03.540
person, I'm actually happier. started to really

00:05:03.540 --> 00:05:06.100
weigh on me. So standing up for myself was hard

00:05:06.100 --> 00:05:08.420
because I grew up with the idea that I was always

00:05:08.420 --> 00:05:09.899
supposed to be married. Once you're married,

00:05:09.899 --> 00:05:11.959
you're always married. And it was just a real

00:05:11.959 --> 00:05:14.480
hard realization that I just I have to protect

00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:18.100
me. So that's what happened. I just moved into

00:05:18.100 --> 00:05:21.019
it's time to move on. And then what I did is

00:05:21.019 --> 00:05:23.279
just repeat the same problem. I actually did

00:05:23.279 --> 00:05:26.220
exactly the same thing and jumped into another

00:05:26.220 --> 00:05:29.259
relationship. And I wasn't really ready for that.

00:05:29.890 --> 00:05:32.689
I'll give myself that problem as I should have

00:05:32.689 --> 00:05:36.009
been more attuned to who I needed to be, but

00:05:36.009 --> 00:05:38.449
I was just hurting and I jumped into another

00:05:38.449 --> 00:05:40.569
one. And we had a really great relationship for

00:05:40.569 --> 00:05:43.069
a while, but I ended up finding these same patterns.

00:05:43.589 --> 00:05:46.509
And then one day, and it was about a year ago,

00:05:46.629 --> 00:05:49.250
I woke up early morning on Easter morning in

00:05:49.250 --> 00:05:53.029
2025, about 4 a .m., and I just literally said

00:05:53.029 --> 00:05:56.970
to myself, is this it? This, I am almost 60 years

00:05:56.970 --> 00:06:00.199
old. Is this the culmination of my life that

00:06:00.199 --> 00:06:04.600
I'm just miserable all the time? I don't like

00:06:04.600 --> 00:06:07.259
this. And so I got up and I took my laptop to

00:06:07.259 --> 00:06:10.379
the kitchen table. And I started the process

00:06:10.379 --> 00:06:14.500
of just tearing life apart and just saying, what

00:06:14.500 --> 00:06:17.540
is it that doesn't work for me anymore? And what

00:06:17.540 --> 00:06:20.259
is it that I really think? And what is it I really

00:06:20.259 --> 00:06:22.660
want to be? And who do I really want to be? And

00:06:22.660 --> 00:06:25.449
what do I really want to do? And I'm probably

00:06:25.449 --> 00:06:26.910
going to make adjustments that are going to be

00:06:26.910 --> 00:06:30.769
hard. But probably that after 40 years of being

00:06:30.769 --> 00:06:34.629
alive and as an adult, probably was the most

00:06:34.629 --> 00:06:38.870
clarifying moment of just waking up harsh, just

00:06:38.870 --> 00:06:41.269
saying, I can't be this way anymore. Yeah, it's

00:06:41.269 --> 00:06:43.610
good. What's the definition of insanity again?

00:06:44.069 --> 00:06:46.009
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting

00:06:46.009 --> 00:06:50.050
different results. But this is what we do not

00:06:50.050 --> 00:06:53.829
i mean i have a million examples and my own personal

00:06:53.829 --> 00:06:57.230
example my own personal journey and story it

00:06:57.230 --> 00:07:00.000
has to do with that. It includes that in a lot

00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:04.399
of things that I've done. But maybe you had knowledge

00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:08.180
or awareness maybe from your ministry or from

00:07:08.180 --> 00:07:12.120
people, you being influenced by people saying,

00:07:12.540 --> 00:07:14.980
you have to change, you can't do this anymore.

00:07:15.560 --> 00:07:20.100
And sometimes people see a change in me or the

00:07:20.100 --> 00:07:23.040
fact that I need to change, that I'm unhappy

00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:26.639
with myself. Sometimes people see it before I

00:07:26.639 --> 00:07:30.019
do, like way before I do. The thing is that I

00:07:30.019 --> 00:07:32.180
don't want to point the finger, like you were

00:07:32.180 --> 00:07:35.040
saying, when nobody's around, you're happy. And

00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:37.620
I'm that way, too. I was like that for a long,

00:07:37.699 --> 00:07:41.660
long, long time. But the problem is that I can't

00:07:41.660 --> 00:07:44.899
spend my life on an island with nobody there,

00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:47.959
only me. I wish I could. But that's not reality.

00:07:48.579 --> 00:07:53.149
Anywhere I go, I'm with people. I can't be not

00:07:53.149 --> 00:07:55.269
with people, I can't be alone, it's impossible,

00:07:55.350 --> 00:07:59.029
I can't live that way. And your age factor too,

00:07:59.170 --> 00:08:01.649
that's another thing too, because I know a lot

00:08:01.649 --> 00:08:05.589
of people that say, oh, I'm old, 60, even some

00:08:05.589 --> 00:08:08.490
people tell me they're 50, and I'm like, I'm

00:08:08.490 --> 00:08:12.670
over the hill, I can't find a job, my life is

00:08:12.670 --> 00:08:16.420
over. So this is very important. And I want to

00:08:16.420 --> 00:08:19.899
explain this to people that these things are

00:08:19.899 --> 00:08:23.160
doable. These things are achievable. Whatever

00:08:23.160 --> 00:08:26.579
the person is going through or whatever the person

00:08:26.579 --> 00:08:31.399
is stuck on, these are ways that you came out

00:08:31.399 --> 00:08:34.580
of the other side, regardless of how you got

00:08:34.580 --> 00:08:37.600
there. Like maybe previous experience you might

00:08:37.600 --> 00:08:39.240
know, you might not even know. It could just

00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:42.009
be like an instinct type of thing. However, you

00:08:42.009 --> 00:08:44.889
got there, but everybody has their own individual

00:08:44.889 --> 00:08:48.490
journey Everybody has a plan for themselves and

00:08:48.490 --> 00:08:50.950
that's the most important thing. What is the

00:08:50.950 --> 00:08:53.470
positive? What what came out of this that was

00:08:53.470 --> 00:08:55.409
positive and you said that well I tell you what

00:08:55.409 --> 00:08:57.309
one of the I mean coming out of ministry coming

00:08:57.309 --> 00:08:59.190
out of my whole life I grew up in church and

00:08:59.190 --> 00:09:01.090
then spent all these years in ministry There

00:09:01.090 --> 00:09:04.370
was this verse from John 14 27 and it says peace

00:09:04.370 --> 00:09:06.509
I leave with you my peace I give to you. No,

00:09:06.950 --> 00:09:08.649
don't let your heart be troubled. Don't let it

00:09:08.649 --> 00:09:12.240
be afraid and I called that my life verse, but

00:09:12.240 --> 00:09:14.399
I never lived in peace and just sitting around

00:09:14.399 --> 00:09:17.080
scratching my head going, I'm begging for peace.

00:09:17.360 --> 00:09:19.200
I'm telling my wife, I'm telling my friends,

00:09:19.299 --> 00:09:21.679
I'm telling people at work in ministry work.

00:09:21.919 --> 00:09:25.460
I want peace. Why can't I find peace? And then

00:09:25.460 --> 00:09:28.519
realizing that I'm giving and I'm giving and

00:09:28.519 --> 00:09:31.799
I'm giving and I'm not receiving anything in

00:09:31.799 --> 00:09:33.779
return. And then I had to start understanding

00:09:33.779 --> 00:09:36.429
that I am not a person who wants to go to a the

00:09:36.429 --> 00:09:39.429
desert island. I have to be around people. I'm

00:09:39.429 --> 00:09:41.769
a I'm a people person. I'm alone for the first

00:09:41.769 --> 00:09:46.029
time in 60 years and I don't like it. It drives

00:09:46.029 --> 00:09:48.250
my nervous system a little crazy, but at least

00:09:48.250 --> 00:09:50.789
I'm working on me, you know, and I'm and I'm

00:09:50.789 --> 00:09:54.289
getting myself since Easter of last year lined

00:09:54.289 --> 00:09:57.269
up better and better. But I just realized that

00:09:57.269 --> 00:10:00.019
it means that some people. I can't be around

00:10:00.019 --> 00:10:02.940
and it's sad. It means that some people will

00:10:02.940 --> 00:10:05.639
never understand when I tell them this is exactly

00:10:05.639 --> 00:10:08.600
what I need. And they're never going to be able

00:10:08.600 --> 00:10:11.820
to provide it. If you told me that I'll do everything

00:10:11.820 --> 00:10:14.299
I can to help you. But there are some people

00:10:14.299 --> 00:10:16.639
that will never respond the way I would respond.

00:10:16.899 --> 00:10:19.419
And that was a hard realization to think that

00:10:19.419 --> 00:10:21.460
you love somebody or they say they love you and

00:10:21.460 --> 00:10:24.360
they'll never be able to help. And so I realized

00:10:24.360 --> 00:10:26.799
that along the way, and I started coming up with

00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:30.519
a really a a process for myself where I was looking

00:10:30.519 --> 00:10:33.840
back, not dwelling and living in the past, but

00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:36.500
going, wow, what have I held onto that didn't

00:10:36.500 --> 00:10:39.799
work? Because I've been doing it insanity the

00:10:39.799 --> 00:10:44.139
same way over and over and over. And they're

00:10:44.139 --> 00:10:46.419
not serving me. These beliefs, these habits,

00:10:47.059 --> 00:10:49.200
these things that maybe we were raised from childhood

00:10:49.200 --> 00:10:51.799
to do just because grandma did it or mom did

00:10:51.799 --> 00:10:54.759
it or whatever. And I had to just take those

00:10:54.759 --> 00:10:57.379
into the into the present and say, how do I reframe

00:10:57.379 --> 00:11:00.279
that? How do I make this turn into something

00:11:00.279 --> 00:11:03.379
good for me or else just throw it away? And then

00:11:03.379 --> 00:11:05.659
I had to say, OK, now what's this collection

00:11:05.659 --> 00:11:08.039
of stuff I want to live with? And how do I make

00:11:08.039 --> 00:11:12.679
myself follow that? Because that is a process

00:11:12.679 --> 00:11:15.740
that's not easy. It's not easy to do one step

00:11:15.740 --> 00:11:17.840
at a time. I think we take a bite and then we

00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:20.240
we can conquer it. But that was the process.

00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:22.220
A friend of mine just said, man, most people

00:11:22.379 --> 00:11:25.399
tear apart one issue and you're tearing apart

00:11:25.399 --> 00:11:27.799
everything. I don't envy you." And I said, I

00:11:27.799 --> 00:11:30.700
don't envy me, but I just had to do it. I just

00:11:30.700 --> 00:11:34.139
had to just go and I left my second wife and

00:11:34.139 --> 00:11:36.899
I got a job in another community in another state.

00:11:37.320 --> 00:11:40.580
And I just rebuilt myself and I wrote a book

00:11:40.580 --> 00:11:44.179
and I worked and I decided who I wanted to be.

00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:47.559
And now at 60, I am enrolled in school full -time

00:11:47.559 --> 00:11:52.070
again. I mean, I am recreating me from the ground

00:11:52.070 --> 00:11:55.129
up because I'm saying this is who I am and this

00:11:55.129 --> 00:11:57.509
is who I'm going to be. And that's what I would

00:11:57.509 --> 00:12:00.809
say to anybody is we can do that. We we're not

00:12:00.809 --> 00:12:03.190
done. I'm 60 years old. It's scary at first,

00:12:03.389 --> 00:12:05.769
but I've been enjoying school. I've been enjoying

00:12:05.769 --> 00:12:08.750
learning and I've been enjoying understanding

00:12:08.750 --> 00:12:13.149
old Randy as he becomes real. Yeah, that was

00:12:13.149 --> 00:12:18.659
good. I went to college in my 40s. And I studied

00:12:18.659 --> 00:12:21.860
criminology and criminal justice, and they have

00:12:21.860 --> 00:12:25.899
a thing called it's a it's not really a course.

00:12:26.059 --> 00:12:28.539
It's like curriculum kind of thing. And it's

00:12:28.539 --> 00:12:31.360
called lifelong learning. And it's free. And

00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:34.379
anybody can do like an older. I have to have

00:12:34.379 --> 00:12:36.620
probably over 60 or something like that. There's

00:12:36.620 --> 00:12:38.500
probably like an age requirement or something,

00:12:38.500 --> 00:12:40.940
and they don't give you tests or anything or

00:12:40.940 --> 00:12:44.779
quizzes or anything. And 80 year old men were

00:12:44.779 --> 00:12:47.379
there. It's a it's a government. It's a state

00:12:47.379 --> 00:12:50.200
school. So it's run by the state. So I really

00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:53.799
like that. I thought that was just very awesome

00:12:53.799 --> 00:12:59.100
because right. That's showing that it's very,

00:12:59.200 --> 00:13:02.529
very positive thing. That's showing that anybody

00:13:02.529 --> 00:13:06.450
can do anything. And these things evolve. They

00:13:06.450 --> 00:13:11.590
change like school, classes, careers, things

00:13:11.590 --> 00:13:14.909
that we learn. These things are evolving constantly.

00:13:15.169 --> 00:13:17.970
They're constantly changing. So by doing that,

00:13:18.090 --> 00:13:21.830
going to school in, you know, past 20, whatever,

00:13:22.230 --> 00:13:27.570
or 30, you're keeping up with the times and you're

00:13:27.570 --> 00:13:31.649
you're. You're evolving with the learning, different

00:13:31.649 --> 00:13:35.690
things like that. But the one thing that I wanted

00:13:35.690 --> 00:13:39.129
to mention was that not only all the positive

00:13:39.129 --> 00:13:43.049
things that you said, right, but also that you

00:13:43.049 --> 00:13:46.190
were talking about somebody loving you and, I

00:13:46.190 --> 00:13:47.809
mean, you loving them and they couldn't love

00:13:47.809 --> 00:13:51.289
you or whatever. We have a saying, detach with

00:13:51.289 --> 00:13:55.580
love. So if I feel that, and this might relate

00:13:55.580 --> 00:13:57.159
to you or it might not, but this is just what

00:13:57.159 --> 00:14:01.600
I got out of what you said. So if I feel that

00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:05.399
somebody can't give me what I'm giving them or

00:14:05.399 --> 00:14:07.519
I'm not comfortable being around them or something

00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:12.259
like that, as long as I see the positive in what

00:14:12.259 --> 00:14:15.279
I'm doing and as long as I've cleaned up my side

00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:17.299
of the street and I'm not pointing the finger

00:14:17.299 --> 00:14:19.700
and blaming the other person, then I've done

00:14:19.700 --> 00:14:22.320
all that I can do. Or I don't have any resentment

00:14:22.320 --> 00:14:26.000
as long as I'm healthy enough to see. And maybe

00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:28.279
there are people that I know I've worked with

00:14:28.279 --> 00:14:31.440
that they are like they are married and they're

00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:35.899
like just maybe in addiction or just really negative.

00:14:35.899 --> 00:14:38.879
And then once they change, they see the person

00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:40.799
completely differently and they're like, who

00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:44.100
are you? I don't want to be married to you. And

00:14:44.100 --> 00:14:46.799
they get a divorce, you know, and now and I've

00:14:46.799 --> 00:14:48.600
had a few people. I mean, this might sound a

00:14:48.600 --> 00:14:51.889
little traumatic. But I've had a few people that

00:14:51.889 --> 00:14:53.830
have done that because, like I said, welcome

00:14:53.830 --> 00:14:56.669
to the world of perception. Everything is perception.

00:14:56.789 --> 00:15:00.210
So now they were one way, their mindset was one

00:15:00.210 --> 00:15:04.029
way, a certain way, and now they like that person

00:15:04.029 --> 00:15:06.950
or whatever. They like them enough to marry them.

00:15:07.149 --> 00:15:09.690
And now their mindset is completely different.

00:15:09.990 --> 00:15:13.009
And they've totally changed. I'm talking about

00:15:13.009 --> 00:15:17.210
100 % over the top change. They're literally,

00:15:17.370 --> 00:15:19.730
if you spoke to them, you wouldn't recognize

00:15:19.730 --> 00:15:21.509
them. They're a completely different person.

00:15:21.889 --> 00:15:25.289
Now they see that spouse completely differently.

00:15:25.750 --> 00:15:28.009
And I have a million examples of people with

00:15:28.009 --> 00:15:31.929
jobs. marriages, boyfriends, relationships. I

00:15:31.929 --> 00:15:35.049
mean, I have so many examples of this. And you

00:15:35.049 --> 00:15:38.690
are a good example of that also because this

00:15:38.690 --> 00:15:40.350
is the type of stuff that you were mentioning

00:15:40.350 --> 00:15:46.090
also. So how do you feel today based on everything

00:15:46.090 --> 00:15:49.730
that you've said, the way that you came to the

00:15:49.730 --> 00:15:52.850
positive out the other side, all this whole conversation

00:15:52.850 --> 00:15:56.889
that we've just had? How do you feel the exact

00:15:56.889 --> 00:16:00.710
day to day as a result of all of that? This has

00:16:00.710 --> 00:16:03.230
been a journey since last Easter and my journey

00:16:03.230 --> 00:16:06.029
since last Easter was I am not going to be the

00:16:06.029 --> 00:16:10.769
same man anymore, period. And it made it a hard

00:16:10.769 --> 00:16:14.330
journey, hard choices, doing things I've never

00:16:14.330 --> 00:16:18.769
done, moving. I mean, enrolling in school was

00:16:18.769 --> 00:16:23.389
huge. And it was scary. It sounds stupid for

00:16:23.389 --> 00:16:25.889
a 60 year old guy to say it, but I just decided

00:16:25.889 --> 00:16:27.909
I was going to do it. And I'll tell you what,

00:16:27.950 --> 00:16:33.169
I sit in class and some days I go, this is stupid.

00:16:33.690 --> 00:16:35.870
But then some days I go, but look what I'm doing.

00:16:36.149 --> 00:16:38.610
And everybody says, wow, I'm so proud of you.

00:16:38.889 --> 00:16:41.350
Look what you're doing. You've got it. I've got

00:16:41.350 --> 00:16:43.610
friends who've been to school as adults. And

00:16:43.610 --> 00:16:45.149
I keep saying, yeah, but you went to school when

00:16:45.149 --> 00:16:46.769
you were 30. Yeah, but you went to school when

00:16:46.769 --> 00:16:49.590
you were 50. I'm 60. And they're like, yeah,

00:16:49.649 --> 00:16:51.970
so you're better than us. And I don't think they

00:16:51.970 --> 00:16:56.309
think that, but I mean, I am doing something

00:16:56.309 --> 00:17:00.590
and that feels good. I've set my mind to things.

00:17:00.830 --> 00:17:02.769
I've told my best friend, Mike, he comes over

00:17:02.769 --> 00:17:05.049
a lot. And a lot of times it's just cause he's

00:17:05.049 --> 00:17:06.750
worried about me because he knows I'm alone for

00:17:06.750 --> 00:17:09.089
the first time. He knows I'm in unchartered territory,

00:17:09.089 --> 00:17:12.970
but I've told him, I've said, I am just decided.

00:17:13.240 --> 00:17:16.059
And my family knows, my kids know, my mother

00:17:16.059 --> 00:17:19.000
knows, everybody knows, I am on this journey

00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:22.140
to be me. And I might not do things the way you

00:17:22.140 --> 00:17:24.720
like it. It might not look like old Randy, and

00:17:24.720 --> 00:17:28.099
it's gotta be okay. Because new Randy is gonna

00:17:28.099 --> 00:17:31.000
be this. And he might struggle along the way,

00:17:31.079 --> 00:17:34.140
but he's struggling to be him. He's not struggling

00:17:34.140 --> 00:17:37.119
to be somebody for somebody else. He's not struggling

00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:39.619
to put up with things that don't feed him. He's

00:17:39.619 --> 00:17:42.299
not doing that anymore. he's becoming Randy.

00:17:42.740 --> 00:17:45.180
And that's really been the exciting part of it.

00:17:45.220 --> 00:17:50.640
Scary sometimes, sure, but exciting because I'm

00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:53.440
60 and I'm a freshman in college. It's just kind

00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:56.539
of weird, but I'm having a blast doing it. I'm

00:17:56.539 --> 00:17:58.880
looking forward to the next day. I'm looking

00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:01.579
forward to podcasts. This is fun, being able

00:18:01.579 --> 00:18:05.609
to tell my story, talk about what I do. I was

00:18:05.609 --> 00:18:07.869
at school the last couple of days and had great

00:18:07.869 --> 00:18:11.009
quiz scores and I'm doing fabulous and grading

00:18:11.009 --> 00:18:14.869
and I'm just I'm excited that all the fear is

00:18:14.869 --> 00:18:17.690
going away because I'm showing I'm showing myself

00:18:17.690 --> 00:18:20.309
what I actually can do and no one else is here

00:18:20.309 --> 00:18:22.470
doing it. No one else is keeping me from doing

00:18:22.470 --> 00:18:26.390
it or talking me down. I mean, it's me and it's

00:18:26.390 --> 00:18:29.710
pretty exciting. That was good. You knew you

00:18:29.710 --> 00:18:31.789
needed to change. You searched within yourself

00:18:31.789 --> 00:18:34.609
and you found it. And that's really, really,

00:18:34.630 --> 00:18:37.690
really the most important thing. OK, so as we

00:18:37.690 --> 00:18:40.009
wrap up, this conversation highlights how small

00:18:40.009 --> 00:18:42.849
internal shifts can create meaningful change.

00:18:43.269 --> 00:18:45.630
If something from today stayed with you, take

00:18:45.630 --> 00:18:48.509
a moment to reflect on how it connects to your

00:18:48.509 --> 00:18:51.269
own direction and decisions. This has been the

00:18:51.269 --> 00:18:53.450
internal shift show. Thank you for listening.

00:18:53.869 --> 00:18:55.529
Thank you, Randy, for being on the show. Thank

00:18:55.529 --> 00:18:55.849
you, Debbie.