Panic- Power Alicia Meek

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Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie

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Longo, Transformational Coach. This show looks

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at how internal choices we make influence the

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direction our lives and work take. Today's conversation

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brings real experience into that space, exploring

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how internal shifts quietly change outcomes over

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time. We have a very special guest today, Alisha

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Meek. Alisha, welcome to the show. Good afternoon.

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Yeah, thanks so much for having me. Thanks for

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coming. Would you like to talk a little bit about

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yourself and what happened to you in your past

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and how you got over that, maybe a specific example

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or a few examples, and how you came out the other

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side and how it worked out for you to make a

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positive? Absolutely. Yeah, so about five years

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ago, which was The time when I met my now husband,

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I was coming out of a bad relationship that I

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had moved to Australia to be with this man and

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found out when I arrived that he is this terrible

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person and I had already given up my entire life

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and moved to Australia. And so I was, I felt

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that I had to stay in Australia to figure out.

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why it is that the universe sent me there in

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the first place. And that caused me some nervous

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system issues. And so when I eventually did come

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home from Australia, I decided to do a year and

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a half of celibacy so that I could get rid of

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the patterns of ending up with these terrible

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men. And so after a year and a half of the celibacy

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and this self work, I was just like, oh, this

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is great. I guess I'm better now. And so I meet

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this wonderful man. I meet this wonderful man

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that Fast forward is my now husband. I meet him

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and there ends up so much pressure because I

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meet this wonderful man and I'm used to these

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crappy men that are abusive and have drug addiction

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and and they're liars and and all of these pieces

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and so I end up in this high pressure situation

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with meeting this wonderful man and I'm like

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oh my god I have to be the perfect person now

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like I have to be everything that I could never

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be before and at the time I'm I'm an entrepreneur

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I've been self -employed for most of my adult

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life. And in this system where I am trying to,

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I'm dating this man that's going really well.

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He's looking at me like, oh, you're so amazing.

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You're so perfect. You're so wonderful. It ends

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up unintentionally putting all this pressure

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on me. And so I'm like, okay, I have to be perfect.

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So I have to work out for two hours every day.

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I have to eat perfectly. I have to make more

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money. I have to do better in my business. I

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have to be prettier. I have to do my hair better,

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my makeup better. And so I just end up putting

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this mass amount of pressure on myself. And after

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probably about two months of doing that, and

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I think I'm happy, like, oh, I'm doing it. So

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I think that I'm happy. I'm really ignoring a

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lot of signals from my body. So what ends up

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happening is I start getting these four -minute

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panic attacks multiple times a day. And I'm like,

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okay, they're only four minutes. I can deal with

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that. I still refuse to listen to these signals

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from my body that is coming in. And so for probably

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a few weeks, I'm having multiple of these mini

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panic attacks every day. And I decide I'm going

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to hide it from my roommate, my best friend,

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this man that I'm dating, my family, everyone.

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I'm like, I can get through this. I can do this.

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I'm going to power through, I'm going to push

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through it and I'm going to force my body to

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be able to deal with the amount of pressure that

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I'm putting on it. So I go on this camping trip

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with this lovely man and we're driving home in

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his PT Cruiser that doesn't have any air conditioning.

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It's the middle of August. It's crazy hot outside

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and we stop. In traffic, traffic just completely

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stops. And so I'm trapped inside of this incredibly

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hot car. There's no air in the air, you know,

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it's just muggy, hot heat. And so I feel the

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panic attacks starting to come on. And he doesn't

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know that any of this is happening with me. And

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so I'm like, it's going to be four minutes. It'll

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be fine. No. It just doesn't stop. And so we

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get home. It's happening for about two hours

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and I'm still hiding it from him. We get back

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to his place. I go into his room. I try to meditate.

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I try to do all of the things. Anyways, this

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panic attack, eventually I did have to tell him,

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but this panic attack lasted for eight weeks,

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day and night. And I'm not talking about anxiety.

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I'm talking about a panic attack where your body

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believes that you're dying. and it's telling

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you that you are in fight or flight and just

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this absolute intensity. And so essentially what

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this did is I couldn't work. I had to stop my

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company. I had to stop taking clients. I had

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to stop being a fitness instructor, everything

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that I was doing at the time. I basically couldn't

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leave my house without support because everything

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was so triggering to the panic attack. And I

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was wait, I wasn't sleeping. I'm awake up in

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the middle of the night, just a massive amount

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of symptoms. And I try to push this man away

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because I'm like, I don't want you to see me

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like this. And I might be like this for the rest

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of my life. I don't know what's going on. Anyways,

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he refuses to leave me. And the big, big chunk

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of the reason why he is my now husband is because

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we were only together for three months at this

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stage. And so he could have looked at this situation

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and gone, oh, this girl's nuts. And, and I don't

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know what's going on with her. And this had never

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happened to me before. So I, I didn't know what

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was going on. And so I gave him this out and

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he just basically said no. And I was like, okay,

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thank you because I do actually need the support.

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And it took me years to recover from this. It

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took me four years to recover from this. And

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even still, my nervous system is testy because

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of it, you know? And these are the moments in

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life where we try to, especially women, we try

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to become masculine and super linear and push

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ourselves really hard and believe that that's

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going to create the outcome that we want. When

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in reality, it's more so balanced and like listening.

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And I had essentially turned off my intuition,

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turned off the voices of my body and said, I'm

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just going to power through and be this person

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that I've decided that this person wants me to

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be. One of the best things that ever happened

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to me, ultimately, were those moments in life

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where you can look back on these incredibly hard

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challenges that have come up in your life and

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you can look back at them and you go, wow, that

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is actually one of the best things because it

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directed me. First, it made this relationship

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with this man incredibly secure and supportive

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and wonderful. And we bonded very much and he

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was extremely supportive. And now we are married

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and we have this incredible supportive marriage.

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And basically I had to look at my life and I

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had to go, where am I pushing myself and where

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am I pushing against myself? And I had to figure

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that out and then I had to rebuild myself and

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I had to rebuild my confidence because my confidence

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was shattered from this entire situation. And

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so basically the steps that I took in that time

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was I started grounding. So taking my bare feet

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and my bare hands and putting them on the ground.

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I didn't have a job. I didn't have anything to

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do all day. So I could go down to a park and

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put my body on the earth and allow it to take

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out the positive ions that are in my body and

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exchange them with negative ions, which is grounding

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and calming for the nervous system. I started

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meditating. I couldn't even listen to music at

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this time. I couldn't watch TV because anything

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overstimulated my brain. The only thing that

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I could read was Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth.

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And that was just incredible. Just every single

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day I would basically just sit there and read

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that. I mean, it wasn't incredible at the time.

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I was in horrible panic and freaking out and

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my life is ruined kind of a thing. And so slowly,

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slowly over about a year, it was about a year

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until I really caught my breath. Like the panic

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attack. stopped after about eight weeks, but

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then I was in extreme anxiety. And so I really

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had to, like I said, build up my confidence from

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there. And one of the things that absolutely

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helped me the most, there's grounding, there's

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meditation, there's books, there's presence,

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all of these things. The number one thing that

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helped me was actually creating a morning practice

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that has pieces of what I call morning rituals.

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And so this is where I sit down and I breathe

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and I drink a cup of tea and I check in with

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my body. I actually ask my body instead of trying

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to ignore the signals from my body that says

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I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm stressed out, I'm this,

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I'm that. So every morning I spend this time

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asking my body and checking in with everything.

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I have positive affirmations. I have something

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called a morning declaration. And this is a series

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of affirmations that are about two and a half

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minutes where I sit in power pose and I say these

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lovely things to myself and about myself. And

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that's what really helps. trigger the unconscious

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and the identity into into something that is

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not scared all the time into something that is

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not in fight or flight all the time because I

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now need to let my body know no we are safe and

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everything is everything is and you know I'd

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have a little bit of stretch in there and so

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basically I just built like This morning routine

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that could be anywhere from five minutes to two

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and a half hours depending on the day and that's

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what made the biggest difference for me because

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then I went into the day with. This confidence

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with I've already checked in with myself I'm

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not waking up in a rush already stressed out

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running out my door or taking clients immediately

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and so that made the biggest difference for me

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and now I have continued that five years later.

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happily married, a secure, stable, steady person

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back to a full schedule. But I make that time

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to check in with myself on a daily basis to see

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what's going on in here because the world is

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set up in a way for us to not hear ourselves,

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not listen to ourselves, not listen to our nervous

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systems, our bodies. All of that noise that's

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happening in your mind all of the time, we actually

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need to acknowledge that. We need to listen to

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it and acknowledge it because every time that

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you try to suppress it, it's just going to come

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back stronger. So if you can be present with

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it, listen to it. What is the noise saying? Okay,

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I hear you. I'm not going to live inside of that

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noise all of the time, but I want to let you

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know that I hear you. Act like it's your inner

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child and you're listening to your inner child's

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complaints and all of these things. So we're

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not saying shut up and trying to push it away,

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listening to that, being present with it, allowing

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the sensations and then choosing how you want

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to move into your day. Very good. All good stuff.

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And this is the type of things, you know, exactly

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what I teach. So when you were talking about

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being with the earth, right, and going someplace.

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I do this thing where I teach to go by the water,

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this is if the person likes the water, the ocean

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or a lake, any type of water. And when you do

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that, you can release your negativity and you're

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gonna give it to the water. And then you get

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back the chi and that replaces it with a positive.

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It could be energy, it could be voices, it could

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be talking, could be anything. And that's a good

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way of releasing it. But what you're saying is

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very true. But as far as talking to your voices

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or thoughts or whatever, and you want to acknowledge

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them and everything, right, that you were saying,

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I want to listen to them, but I want to be able

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to release them in a healthy way. And that's

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the way that you explained burying something

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and telling myself that it's not there. when

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it's really there and telling myself that it's

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going to go away when I know it's not going to

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go away is burying it, basically. That is not

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a healthy way of releasing something. So did

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you just do this by yourself? This was the way

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that you were with the relationships and the

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marriages, whatever. And then you did all these

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things to help you not to be that way anymore.

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So the result was a positive thing. So did you

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do these things all by yourself? Did you know,

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because you just told me you just explained multiple

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things that you did. Did you have any guidance

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or maybe from a professional or did you just

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know to do these things, self -help or whatever

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it was that you did? Well, yes, I've practiced

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practical spirituality and modern applied psychology.

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I've been studying that and working within those

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realms for the past 20 years. And when this happened,

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I went to every private doctor, I went to hypnotherapists

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and acupuncturists and massage therapists and

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basically everybody that I could think of, medical

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intuitives, all of these things. I went and tried

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all of it. And there probably was a few pieces

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from there, but realistically, everything did

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come from trial and error of me seeing what made

00:13:17.320 --> 00:13:20.259
me feel better because we can pass on this knowledge

00:13:20.259 --> 00:13:21.820
to other people and hear something that worked

00:13:21.820 --> 00:13:23.740
for me. Maybe it'll work for you, but the truth

00:13:23.740 --> 00:13:26.730
is that There's no straight cut way for any of

00:13:26.730 --> 00:13:29.370
this. It is, you need to try this and see if

00:13:29.370 --> 00:13:31.509
this works for you. And then you need to change

00:13:31.509 --> 00:13:33.870
it and adapt it for you. Don't take somebody

00:13:33.870 --> 00:13:37.110
else's practice and take it on fully as your

00:13:37.110 --> 00:13:39.450
own. Well, how would I change this for myself?

00:13:39.730 --> 00:13:42.049
And use that to work for yourself, keeping everything

00:13:42.049 --> 00:13:45.009
unique, individual, and it keeps you in an authentic

00:13:45.009 --> 00:13:47.830
place as well. So absolutely, I had plenty of

00:13:47.830 --> 00:13:50.899
support, but the truth is is that. Nothing could

00:13:50.899 --> 00:13:53.580
really work for me at the time. I needed to wait

00:13:53.580 --> 00:13:56.519
it out. I needed to stay calm and wait it out

00:13:56.519 --> 00:13:58.639
and be present with what was happening with my

00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.899
body and calm and soothe my body and allow that

00:14:01.899 --> 00:14:04.779
to pass. And absolutely acupuncture and massage

00:14:04.779 --> 00:14:07.899
helped quite a bit. Yeah, that's good. That makes

00:14:07.899 --> 00:14:11.620
sense. So you had prior knowledge, prior experience.

00:14:11.700 --> 00:14:15.919
So you kind of had some idea, right, with what

00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:19.289
you were doing. One of the things that I wanted

00:14:19.289 --> 00:14:24.190
to mention was that if I have a negative thought

00:14:24.190 --> 00:14:28.250
or I'm in a space that I don't want to be in

00:14:28.250 --> 00:14:32.009
or I'm sick and suffering, right? There is a

00:14:32.009 --> 00:14:35.610
way out and there's a way to go from that negativity

00:14:35.610 --> 00:14:39.309
to come out the other side and be a positive.

00:14:39.870 --> 00:14:42.409
And you're come out as a positive and you're

00:14:42.409 --> 00:14:46.629
a very good example of that. because of the story

00:14:46.629 --> 00:14:49.210
that you just told, which is a specific thing.

00:14:49.730 --> 00:14:52.549
Now, one of the things that I could do is, which

00:14:52.549 --> 00:14:54.450
I've done, and I know a lot of people that have

00:14:54.450 --> 00:14:57.730
done this, is that if I'm going through something,

00:14:58.090 --> 00:15:00.929
I could ask 10 people how they got through it,

00:15:00.990 --> 00:15:03.389
because now they're like, oh, I did that and

00:15:03.389 --> 00:15:06.169
now I'm not that way anymore. I'm doing this

00:15:06.169 --> 00:15:08.950
instead. I could ask 10 people and then they

00:15:08.950 --> 00:15:12.950
could give me their... explanation or their description

00:15:12.950 --> 00:15:16.169
about how they did it. And I could take one thing

00:15:16.169 --> 00:15:18.830
from each person and then I could make it my

00:15:18.830 --> 00:15:21.470
own. Or maybe not. Maybe I take two things from

00:15:21.470 --> 00:15:24.330
somebody and nothing from another person. So

00:15:24.330 --> 00:15:27.639
I can kind of like mix it up. And that's a way

00:15:27.639 --> 00:15:30.600
that I can make it my own, because, like you

00:15:30.600 --> 00:15:33.399
said, every individual is completely different.

00:15:33.620 --> 00:15:35.759
And this type of stuff, especially what you're

00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:37.519
talking about, because this is all stuff that

00:15:37.519 --> 00:15:40.879
I teach, spirituality, praying, meditating, which

00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:42.720
is basically the core. I don't really come out

00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:44.960
and say that, but that's where it stems from.

00:15:45.059 --> 00:15:48.320
Let's put it that way. That is a very individual

00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:51.299
thing. That's a very personal thing. It's very

00:15:51.299 --> 00:15:56.389
private. That is why, to me, that I can't really

00:15:56.389 --> 00:16:01.049
copy that verbatim from somebody else. And if

00:16:01.049 --> 00:16:04.950
I know to do these things where I can make it

00:16:04.950 --> 00:16:08.490
my own and I know that there is a different way,

00:16:08.789 --> 00:16:12.509
then I can see that there's hope. But I can't

00:16:12.509 --> 00:16:16.789
do that if I don't want to be helped. And if

00:16:16.789 --> 00:16:23.009
I don't see that some type of vision or some

00:16:23.009 --> 00:16:26.899
type of knowing that I can come out of this.

00:16:27.139 --> 00:16:31.600
I might not 100 % know, but I still need to have

00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:35.200
the willingness to be helped. Some type of desire.

00:16:35.500 --> 00:16:37.440
I have another thing that I teach too, which

00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:40.759
is called creating a knowing, which is kind of

00:16:40.759 --> 00:16:43.840
another thing that you explained. And it's, I

00:16:43.840 --> 00:16:46.860
know you were saying like, you were telling yourself

00:16:46.860 --> 00:16:48.899
or you were doing it through prayer and meditation

00:16:48.899 --> 00:16:52.639
or whatever, but I know that it's gonna work

00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:55.950
out. I 100 % know there's no doubt in my mind.

00:16:56.009 --> 00:16:58.789
And I call that creating and knowing. And what

00:16:58.789 --> 00:17:03.669
happens then is that it will happen. It will

00:17:03.669 --> 00:17:06.289
happen. There's no doubt. Why? Because I know

00:17:06.289 --> 00:17:08.829
there's no doubt because I think that because

00:17:08.829 --> 00:17:12.049
I've already created my mindset to be that way.

00:17:12.250 --> 00:17:17.069
Very good. Excellent. Is there anything that

00:17:17.069 --> 00:17:19.740
you would like to say in closing? Maybe. What

00:17:19.740 --> 00:17:23.180
are you doing right this second? How is your

00:17:23.180 --> 00:17:28.859
life like right now today? That's an excellent

00:17:28.859 --> 00:17:33.140
question because I am in a space right now where

00:17:33.140 --> 00:17:37.299
I am 10 times the expansion of my company. Like

00:17:37.299 --> 00:17:40.059
I've put a huge financial investment into my

00:17:40.059 --> 00:17:42.799
company and I've hired a full -time assistant.

00:17:43.039 --> 00:17:45.960
And so I have a lot of pressure. So this is going

00:17:45.960 --> 00:17:48.099
to be one of the challenges to my nervous system

00:17:48.099 --> 00:17:50.900
because this is an injury on my nervous system,

00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:53.799
I will always remember and I will always have

00:17:53.799 --> 00:17:56.000
to work with in some way. But because I'm in

00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:58.720
this expansion right now, I can feel my nervous

00:17:58.720 --> 00:18:02.740
system. It's like little sparks in my hands and

00:18:02.740 --> 00:18:05.099
my feet sometimes and even in my stomach that

00:18:05.099 --> 00:18:08.220
are pushing yourself a little bit too far. And

00:18:08.220 --> 00:18:12.079
so, yes, today, yesterday, the day before that,

00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:15.460
I'm having to take my time in the morning. And

00:18:15.460 --> 00:18:17.259
I've actually gotten my husband to start sitting

00:18:17.259 --> 00:18:19.420
down and doing my morning rituals with me, which

00:18:19.420 --> 00:18:21.819
is, which is really lovely to be able to do that

00:18:21.819 --> 00:18:24.960
together. But then even throughout the day, I

00:18:24.960 --> 00:18:29.259
have to check in with myself. And so just previous

00:18:29.259 --> 00:18:31.559
to recording this, I was like, I'm going to take

00:18:31.559 --> 00:18:35.119
this hour off, I'm going to take from 11 to 12

00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:39.119
off so that I can be super present and that my

00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:41.480
nervous system can be calm and so that I'm not

00:18:41.480 --> 00:18:44.700
jumping from one thing to the next. And so when

00:18:44.700 --> 00:18:47.779
I sat down here, I'm calm and my nervous system

00:18:47.779 --> 00:18:50.960
is not at this high level. And that's because

00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:53.480
I took that time to do the things that I know

00:18:53.480 --> 00:18:56.220
for myself. So it's like you solve the problem

00:18:56.220 --> 00:18:59.200
from the big event that you have, but you must

00:18:59.200 --> 00:19:02.069
figure out what you're going to do. in the future.

00:19:02.230 --> 00:19:04.809
You must carry that on. Figure out the rituals

00:19:04.809 --> 00:19:07.109
and practices that work for you as an individual

00:19:07.109 --> 00:19:09.950
and then continue doing those all of the time.

00:19:10.170 --> 00:19:13.250
Don't allow yourself to get back to that place

00:19:13.250 --> 00:19:16.509
where you are so overwhelmed that you essentially

00:19:16.509 --> 00:19:19.390
have like a boiling point and your pot has boiled

00:19:19.390 --> 00:19:21.630
over in your body, in your nervous system, in

00:19:21.630 --> 00:19:23.809
your mental health, in your in your well -being

00:19:23.809 --> 00:19:26.809
in general. So gather these tools for yourself

00:19:26.809 --> 00:19:29.390
and keep that toolbox present with you on a daily

00:19:29.390 --> 00:19:32.319
basis. Yeah, and also that's a good point. And

00:19:32.319 --> 00:19:34.920
then also the thing about another thing I was

00:19:34.920 --> 00:19:39.119
thinking of is self -discipline. So if I form

00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:43.660
this plan or changing my attitude or whatever

00:19:43.660 --> 00:19:47.019
it is. And then i want to be able to follow through

00:19:47.019 --> 00:19:50.160
with it so if i commit myself to do it every

00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:54.240
day i have to be able to make sure you know that

00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:56.759
i do it every single day it's not like i'll do

00:19:56.759 --> 00:19:59.380
it today and tomorrow and then i don't want to

00:19:59.380 --> 00:20:02.000
do it the next few days so it's like whatever

00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:05.000
i do it's like if i go to school and the teacher

00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:08.460
says okay you'll have homework. every Wednesday.

00:20:08.839 --> 00:20:11.299
And then if I decide I don't want to do it one

00:20:11.299 --> 00:20:13.319
Wednesday, then what's going to happen? I might

00:20:13.319 --> 00:20:18.640
fail or I might get a bad mark only because I

00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:22.039
was committed. I made an agreement with the teacher.

00:20:22.180 --> 00:20:24.240
The teacher said do the homework every Wednesday

00:20:24.240 --> 00:20:27.039
and I made that commitment that I would. And

00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:30.420
one Wednesday I didn't do it. So it just takes

00:20:30.420 --> 00:20:34.420
that one time that I don't stick by my commitment.

00:20:34.700 --> 00:20:37.940
And then everything could go backwards, you know,

00:20:37.980 --> 00:20:40.880
so that's the thing. And we go forwards and backwards.

00:20:40.960 --> 00:20:43.240
To me, that's just a human thing. And I think

00:20:43.240 --> 00:20:46.299
you explain that a little bit too in your story

00:20:46.299 --> 00:20:51.299
because nobody's perfect. Human beings are just,

00:20:51.579 --> 00:20:54.819
anything could happen. As we wrap up, this conversation

00:20:54.819 --> 00:20:57.819
highlights how small internal shifts can create

00:20:57.819 --> 00:21:01.279
meaningful change. If something from today, stayed

00:21:01.279 --> 00:21:03.859
with you, take a moment to reflect on how it

00:21:03.859 --> 00:21:07.380
connects to your own direction and decision.

00:21:07.819 --> 00:21:09.640
This has been the Internal Shift Show. Thank

00:21:09.640 --> 00:21:11.759
you for listening. Thank you, Alicia, for being

00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:14.220
on the show. I really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks

00:21:14.220 --> 00:21:14.839
for having me.