March 5, 2026
Jenna Udenberg Disability Resilience
The player is loading ...
In this episode of The Internal Shift Show, Debbie Longo speaks with Jenna Udenberg about how personal adversity can shape resilience, purpose, and leadership. Jenna shares her journey growing up with juvenile arthritis, becoming a wheelchair user at a young age, and navigating a world that was not designed with accessibility in mind.
Through discrimination, medical challenges, and nearly two decades as a music educator, Jenna developed grit, adaptability, and a powerful perspective on identity and inclusion. She explains how early experiences with disability shaped the way she approached education, relationships, and opportunity.
The conversation explores how mindset, environment, and internal decision-making influence the direction of our lives. Jenna reflects on how personal struggles, including the challenges brought on during the COVID-19 era, pushed her to rethink identity, resilience, and advocacy.
This episode highlights how shifting internal narratives can transform adversity into growth. Jenna’s story demonstrates that even when circumstances are difficult, perspective and determination can open new paths forward.
Listeners will hear an honest discussion about disability, perseverance, and how sharing personal stories can help others recognize that change and recovery are possible.
Contact Debbie Longo – Transformational Coach
Email: info@lifeinbloomny.net
Website: https://lifeinbloomny.net
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbie-longo-life-in-bloom-ny/
Contact Jenna Udenberg: jenna.udenberg@gmail.com
If this episode resonated with you, the shift you’re looking for may already be asking for your attention.
I work with leaders, professionals, and individuals who are ready to move from internal pressure to aligned action. If you’re navigating a transition, rebuilding after a setback, or ready to create meaningful change, let’s talk.
Apply to work with me:
Connect with me on LinkedIn:
Debbie Longo
Transformational Coach
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.359
Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie
00:00:02.359 --> 00:00:05.280
Longo, Transformational Coach. This show explores
00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:09.640
how the way we think, decide and respond internally
00:00:09.640 --> 00:00:12.859
influences where we end up over time. Today's
00:00:12.859 --> 00:00:15.599
conversation draws on real experience and expertise
00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:18.460
to look at how small internal shifts can change
00:00:18.460 --> 00:00:21.460
direction, momentum and outcomes. We have a very
00:00:21.460 --> 00:00:24.260
special guest today, Jenna Udenberg. Good afternoon,
00:00:24.440 --> 00:00:26.739
Jenna. Welcome to the show. Hi, Debbie. Thanks
00:00:26.739 --> 00:00:29.920
for having me. What I'm gonna ask for you to
00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:34.380
do is basically tell your story and focus on
00:00:34.380 --> 00:00:37.640
a traumatic experience or life change and then
00:00:37.640 --> 00:00:40.359
how you went through that process and what was
00:00:40.359 --> 00:00:42.979
the end result and the end result should always
00:00:42.979 --> 00:00:45.799
be positive. Now, one of the reasons why I do
00:00:45.799 --> 00:00:48.140
this is because there's somebody out there, everybody
00:00:48.140 --> 00:00:51.890
has their own individual story. But there's somebody
00:00:51.890 --> 00:00:54.829
out there that can identify with a certain part
00:00:54.829 --> 00:00:58.369
of your story. And we want to explain and show
00:00:58.369 --> 00:01:01.369
to these people, like the listener, right? Whoever,
00:01:01.710 --> 00:01:04.290
whatever part that they can identify with that
00:01:04.290 --> 00:01:07.069
there is a way out and they don't have to sit
00:01:07.069 --> 00:01:09.370
in their sick and suffering because a lot of
00:01:09.370 --> 00:01:11.989
times people don't know that they can get better.
00:01:12.530 --> 00:01:14.829
They just want to sit in the negative. They think
00:01:14.829 --> 00:01:16.969
that that's going to be their life for their
00:01:16.969 --> 00:01:20.049
whole entire life. They don't know they're uneducated.
00:01:20.069 --> 00:01:23.030
They don't want to do it. There's a million different
00:01:23.030 --> 00:01:26.189
reasons. But a lot of times, if somebody could
00:01:26.189 --> 00:01:29.810
see the process, if somebody's explaining it,
00:01:30.010 --> 00:01:32.430
sometimes people can visualize it in their in
00:01:32.430 --> 00:01:35.150
their minds, their own life. Very similar to
00:01:35.150 --> 00:01:38.189
what you're saying. Then they can see that they
00:01:38.189 --> 00:01:42.189
can get out of it. At least we are showing them.
00:01:42.519 --> 00:01:45.040
At least we're kind of like giving them an education,
00:01:45.040 --> 00:01:47.379
you know, and that's what I'm really going to
00:01:47.379 --> 00:01:49.640
ask you to do. So if you could do that, I would
00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:53.000
appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. So
00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:55.799
a little bit about where I came from. I grew
00:01:55.799 --> 00:01:58.459
up in rural Minnesota on beautiful Lake Superior
00:01:58.459 --> 00:02:01.739
by age seven. I was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis
00:02:01.739 --> 00:02:03.599
and by age eight I was in a manual wheelchair.
00:02:04.090 --> 00:02:06.170
So it just kind of gives you a context of the
00:02:06.170 --> 00:02:09.370
late 80s, early 90s of becoming a disabled young
00:02:09.370 --> 00:02:12.110
person with not a lot of resources and not a
00:02:12.110 --> 00:02:15.069
lot of the cool things that we see in life today.
00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:18.090
Not a lot of accessibility, not a lot of access
00:02:18.090 --> 00:02:21.969
to adaptive recreation and all just all the things
00:02:21.969 --> 00:02:25.430
that we now know today. And I became a music
00:02:25.430 --> 00:02:28.129
educator because I had an amazing eighth grade
00:02:28.129 --> 00:02:30.610
band director who saw me as a person and that
00:02:30.610 --> 00:02:34.620
inspired me to want to go into it. Not the music
00:02:34.620 --> 00:02:36.819
of chord structure, not all the different instruments,
00:02:36.860 --> 00:02:42.419
all the things. And so growing up, life wasn't
00:02:42.419 --> 00:02:45.439
easy. That was the era of pick yourself up by
00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:48.180
your bootstraps. Make lemonade out of lemons.
00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:52.099
Lots of ableist type of connotations. And have
00:02:52.099 --> 00:02:54.099
all those things come out of my mouth before?
00:02:55.259 --> 00:02:59.960
Absolutely. But as I went through things of discrimination,
00:02:59.960 --> 00:03:03.500
as I went through bullying, as I went through
00:03:03.500 --> 00:03:06.699
spaces and places that were not made for me,
00:03:06.780 --> 00:03:10.020
that I was not welcome in, I had to develop grit.
00:03:10.199 --> 00:03:14.699
I had to develop my reliance on others. And so
00:03:14.699 --> 00:03:17.580
the story that I'm going to choose to share with
00:03:17.580 --> 00:03:19.840
your audience today is something that's more
00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:22.060
recent, but you needed to know some of that background
00:03:22.060 --> 00:03:25.060
information of all the things I went through.
00:03:25.580 --> 00:03:27.460
And I started doing orthopedic surgeries at age
00:03:27.460 --> 00:03:30.990
15. So I think to date I've had 19 surgeries.
00:03:30.990 --> 00:03:33.669
I have six different joint replacements. I'm
00:03:33.669 --> 00:03:36.550
still in a manual wheelchair. I'm a proud disabled
00:03:36.550 --> 00:03:38.750
young woman, middle -aged woman. I forget about
00:03:38.750 --> 00:03:43.990
that new label, but I had a wonderful 19 -year
00:03:43.990 --> 00:03:47.889
career as a music educator. I have both certifications
00:03:47.889 --> 00:03:51.849
in instrumental and vocal K -12. I've taught
00:03:51.849 --> 00:03:54.909
anywhere from community schools that are charter
00:03:54.909 --> 00:03:58.550
schools to parochial private Catholic schools
00:03:58.550 --> 00:04:01.889
to ending my career in a public high school,
00:04:01.949 --> 00:04:04.969
elementary, two different schools. Our school
00:04:04.969 --> 00:04:07.169
district is actually the size of Rhode Island
00:04:07.169 --> 00:04:10.930
when it comes to geography. So a lot of empty
00:04:10.930 --> 00:04:13.389
land and forest in between, but just to give
00:04:13.389 --> 00:04:16.870
you some context. And so again, most of my life
00:04:16.870 --> 00:04:18.850
I was dealing with my physical disability. Everyone
00:04:18.850 --> 00:04:21.709
saw my wheelchair first and made a lot of assumptions
00:04:21.709 --> 00:04:24.509
and not good assumptions more often than not.
00:04:25.169 --> 00:04:28.949
And so when the COVID -19 pandemic happened,
00:04:29.449 --> 00:04:32.990
all of us were just a hot mess. The whole world
00:04:32.990 --> 00:04:35.290
was a hot mess, let's just be honest. Because
00:04:35.290 --> 00:04:37.850
we never experienced that before. And the uncertainty
00:04:37.850 --> 00:04:41.350
was a killer. And that was the first time that
00:04:41.350 --> 00:04:45.470
my invisible disabilities of being immunocompromised,
00:04:45.870 --> 00:04:50.029
of being somebody that has multiple diagnoses,
00:04:50.089 --> 00:04:52.569
not just my juvenile arthritis at that point
00:04:52.569 --> 00:04:54.949
in my life, and all the medications and what
00:04:54.949 --> 00:04:58.009
that did to me. And so I was getting ready to
00:04:58.009 --> 00:05:00.670
just head back into the classroom and working
00:05:00.670 --> 00:05:03.250
with administration to figure out how is this
00:05:03.250 --> 00:05:06.230
going to look. I can't unmask and eat in the
00:05:06.230 --> 00:05:08.949
faculty room. I can't unmask in my music room
00:05:08.949 --> 00:05:11.209
where all these kids were just coughing and sneezing
00:05:11.209 --> 00:05:14.509
and singing and all the things. And we were a
00:05:14.509 --> 00:05:17.310
week out from me at Joining my classroom and
00:05:17.310 --> 00:05:19.850
joining my peers and being a part of things and
00:05:19.850 --> 00:05:22.589
I thought I'd get to either stay here in the
00:05:22.589 --> 00:05:24.970
space I'm coming to you from today and teach
00:05:24.970 --> 00:05:29.810
virtually or be in place and about the bubble
00:05:29.810 --> 00:05:31.990
and that was a part of life back in that time
00:05:31.990 --> 00:05:34.930
and Literally the school district came back though
00:05:34.930 --> 00:05:37.089
like days before we were supposed to enter the
00:05:37.089 --> 00:05:39.490
classroom and they said we're no longer interested
00:05:39.490 --> 00:05:42.199
in accommodating your work from home order. And
00:05:42.199 --> 00:05:44.899
we are prepared to make you take a disability
00:05:44.899 --> 00:05:47.699
retirement. You need to work with the union.
00:05:48.300 --> 00:05:51.379
We're working with our lawyers. I found my own
00:05:51.379 --> 00:05:54.120
disability lawyer that nobody knew about and
00:05:54.120 --> 00:05:57.819
just had to protect all the things. And so my
00:05:57.819 --> 00:06:01.100
story today is really about identity crisis because
00:06:01.100 --> 00:06:06.939
so much of who I was was wrapped up in Miss You
00:06:06.939 --> 00:06:08.819
because my kids couldn't say Udenburg because
00:06:08.819 --> 00:06:11.949
most of us can't. So my kids called me miss you.
00:06:12.089 --> 00:06:14.569
And so so much of my life was wrapped up in that.
00:06:14.589 --> 00:06:18.670
And I didn't realize how much. When it was unexpected,
00:06:18.910 --> 00:06:21.009
I didn't get to have any final concerts. I didn't
00:06:21.009 --> 00:06:22.709
get to have any final programs. I didn't get
00:06:22.709 --> 00:06:25.589
to say goodbye to my kids. A month or two into
00:06:25.589 --> 00:06:29.629
the battle, I had my friends, coworkers, colleagues
00:06:29.629 --> 00:06:32.850
texting me saying, Jenna, this feels really gross,
00:06:33.370 --> 00:06:36.759
because the kids think you died of COVID. Can
00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:38.759
you make a video? Can you make us something?
00:06:39.079 --> 00:06:40.720
Like these kids need to know that you're okay.
00:06:40.879 --> 00:06:42.639
It's just that you're no longer their music teacher.
00:06:43.439 --> 00:06:46.139
And that just rips your heart out, shoves the
00:06:46.139 --> 00:06:49.139
knife in, twists it, all the things, right? And
00:06:49.139 --> 00:06:51.220
yet legally I was bound up. I couldn't really
00:06:51.220 --> 00:06:53.339
say anything. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't
00:06:53.339 --> 00:06:56.279
do the very things that I knew was good. And
00:06:56.279 --> 00:06:59.519
so that was super hard. And then when I was cleaning
00:06:59.519 --> 00:07:02.389
up this space, picking up maracas and all the
00:07:02.389 --> 00:07:06.170
little instruments that one does elementary music
00:07:06.170 --> 00:07:10.670
with in this space, tears coming down my face,
00:07:10.750 --> 00:07:13.850
all the things. I was given the words accessibility
00:07:13.850 --> 00:07:15.670
educator and I was like, I don't know what that
00:07:15.670 --> 00:07:18.490
means. I've never heard that terminology before.
00:07:18.509 --> 00:07:22.009
I don't understand it. And so for whatever in
00:07:22.009 --> 00:07:25.389
my head, it was like, well, if I'm done as a
00:07:25.389 --> 00:07:27.790
music teacher, then therefore all of education
00:07:27.790 --> 00:07:31.620
is also done. Like, at least for me, I'm such
00:07:31.620 --> 00:07:34.040
an all -or -nothing person. It's either all black,
00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:36.720
it's all white, I hate gray, but we're always
00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:38.779
living in the gray because that's just human
00:07:38.779 --> 00:07:44.699
life. And so it took months to over a year to
00:07:44.699 --> 00:07:48.180
be like, oh no, all of these soft skills that
00:07:48.180 --> 00:07:50.720
you learn as an educator or however you're trained,
00:07:51.399 --> 00:07:54.839
they translate amazingly into other spaces and
00:07:54.839 --> 00:07:59.269
places. During this time, I was a 2020 Bush fellow,
00:07:59.529 --> 00:08:02.129
and so I was so thankful of how all the timing
00:08:02.129 --> 00:08:05.810
just worked out. And so in being a Bush fellow,
00:08:06.370 --> 00:08:09.050
I was developing my own leadership skills. I
00:08:09.050 --> 00:08:12.170
was doing E Cornell coursework and trainings
00:08:12.170 --> 00:08:15.550
and leadership certifications and starting to
00:08:15.550 --> 00:08:18.449
figure out how can I develop a nonprofit? How
00:08:18.449 --> 00:08:21.129
can I tell my story? I don't want to have to
00:08:21.129 --> 00:08:25.370
have 5 ,000 coffee conversations to make one
00:08:25.370 --> 00:08:28.149
impact in policy or to make things more accessible.
00:08:28.389 --> 00:08:32.450
And so I wrote my memoir and. It was just interesting
00:08:32.450 --> 00:08:35.549
to see the doors that opened that would not have
00:08:35.549 --> 00:08:38.029
opened. Had I still been back in that classroom?
00:08:38.029 --> 00:08:41.110
Had I still been an employee? Had I still had
00:08:41.110 --> 00:08:43.809
the label of music teacher or miss you? And yet
00:08:43.809 --> 00:08:47.690
I still was able to have that connection to kids.
00:08:47.690 --> 00:08:50.629
I also coach Lego robotics and so I was allowed
00:08:50.629 --> 00:08:53.539
to continue to. to coach virtually and have somebody
00:08:53.539 --> 00:08:56.860
there in person and all the things. And so Miss
00:08:56.860 --> 00:08:59.460
You is still alive, just in a different way.
00:08:59.899 --> 00:09:02.039
And so with Accessibility Educator, it was like,
00:09:02.100 --> 00:09:05.500
OK, well, now I need to find new people. I need
00:09:05.500 --> 00:09:07.120
to find those that have gone before me in the
00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:09.080
nonprofit sector. I need to find people that
00:09:09.080 --> 00:09:12.580
are more skilled in these things and reach out
00:09:12.580 --> 00:09:15.440
to friends who have done this before. And so,
00:09:15.460 --> 00:09:17.360
like you said, kind of in the beginning, too,
00:09:18.019 --> 00:09:20.500
is for me, the nutshell is representation matters.
00:09:20.889 --> 00:09:23.309
I needed to find people that looked like me,
00:09:23.429 --> 00:09:26.629
that acted like me, that had a passion like me.
00:09:27.250 --> 00:09:30.289
And the scary part of going into becoming an
00:09:30.289 --> 00:09:32.450
accessibility educator, becoming a disability
00:09:32.450 --> 00:09:36.669
activist and active advocate is that I live this
00:09:36.669 --> 00:09:39.509
life every day. So right now, being completely
00:09:39.509 --> 00:09:41.750
vulnerable with you right now, like today's a
00:09:41.750 --> 00:09:44.590
rough day. I'm in northern Minnesota. We had
00:09:44.590 --> 00:09:46.490
a blizzard last week. Nothing compared to the
00:09:46.490 --> 00:09:49.549
East Coast is going through now, but the ice
00:09:49.549 --> 00:09:53.320
and snow makes all environments not accessible
00:09:53.320 --> 00:09:56.399
for me. And so when you add in, now it's like,
00:09:56.399 --> 00:09:58.379
oh, and I'll leave this nonprofit. Now go and
00:09:58.379 --> 00:10:01.259
do these works to change policy, to change procedures,
00:10:01.700 --> 00:10:04.759
to raise awareness. There has to be, for me,
00:10:04.820 --> 00:10:08.779
there has to be that balance of self -care and
00:10:08.779 --> 00:10:12.460
the ability of seeing all of these challenges
00:10:12.460 --> 00:10:15.419
or opportunities as really a marathon and not
00:10:15.419 --> 00:10:18.830
a sprint. And so... Being vulnerable and even
00:10:18.830 --> 00:10:22.110
coming today to share these stories is how do
00:10:22.110 --> 00:10:24.769
we go from where we find ourselves, whether it's
00:10:24.769 --> 00:10:27.889
emotionally, hormonally, lack of sleep, lack
00:10:27.889 --> 00:10:31.210
of good food. All the things that we don't realize
00:10:31.210 --> 00:10:34.610
are just the everyday little things that slowly
00:10:34.610 --> 00:10:37.049
bring us down and down and down and down. But
00:10:37.049 --> 00:10:39.830
then the reverse of it is there are just little
00:10:39.830 --> 00:10:42.529
simple things that can bring us back up out of
00:10:42.529 --> 00:10:45.870
that pit or out of that cave. Like it just depends
00:10:45.870 --> 00:10:48.559
on how long we've been there. And I also, as
00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:52.279
somebody who has suicide ideation back in my
00:10:52.279 --> 00:10:54.600
teens, I do have to be careful in some of those
00:10:54.600 --> 00:10:57.860
spaces as well, because it's such a slippery
00:10:57.860 --> 00:11:00.740
slope when you start letting one part of your
00:11:00.740 --> 00:11:06.240
medical or your whole being take a hit. And so,
00:11:06.580 --> 00:11:09.720
being self -reflective, and for me, because I'm
00:11:09.720 --> 00:11:12.600
not married, I'm not connected in any of those
00:11:12.600 --> 00:11:15.539
ways, it's very important for me to stay intentional.
00:11:16.199 --> 00:11:20.360
of making sure that my support system is clued
00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:22.720
in, because they can't read my mind. And that
00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:25.600
was one of the greatest lessons that I ever learned
00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:27.559
from a very good friend, which was really hard.
00:11:28.419 --> 00:11:31.399
But people can't read our minds. Don't make assumptions
00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:34.279
that they're gonna know. Don't put expectations
00:11:34.279 --> 00:11:36.840
on them that they should know, because I don't
00:11:36.840 --> 00:11:39.179
know. Because whatever expectations I'm putting
00:11:39.179 --> 00:11:41.419
out into the world, then I'm saying that the
00:11:41.419 --> 00:11:43.200
rest of the world can put on me. And that doesn't
00:11:43.200 --> 00:11:45.179
feel good. That's a heavy lift. That's really
00:11:45.179 --> 00:11:47.820
hard. So I'm trying to be a better communicator.
00:11:47.919 --> 00:11:50.600
I still struggle with that. We still go to default
00:11:50.600 --> 00:11:53.700
mode. We go to the places in which our family
00:11:53.700 --> 00:11:57.019
of origin was a part of, unless you do some really
00:11:57.019 --> 00:12:00.279
deep, hard work and you're really held accountable
00:12:00.279 --> 00:12:03.779
to change that default script, that default mode.
00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:07.059
But I love being in spaces with transformational
00:12:07.059 --> 00:12:10.879
leaders. I love being in spaces that are safe
00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:13.990
places for us to grow and learn. And so I try
00:12:13.990 --> 00:12:17.070
to create those spaces for people that are in
00:12:17.070 --> 00:12:19.590
leadership with me or that I'm alongside. And
00:12:19.590 --> 00:12:22.409
I desire to learn more of those tips and tricks,
00:12:22.529 --> 00:12:25.330
because like I said, today's a rough day. It's
00:12:25.330 --> 00:12:28.169
been a rough week of access issues and just lots
00:12:28.169 --> 00:12:31.450
of work and things that are hard. But that's
00:12:31.450 --> 00:12:33.470
why I so look forward to our conversation today,
00:12:33.490 --> 00:12:36.450
because I knew that you would help me even in
00:12:36.450 --> 00:12:39.090
talking. just bring out those kernels and those
00:12:39.090 --> 00:12:41.350
diamonds that are still in the rough. And you
00:12:41.350 --> 00:12:43.110
still got to do the work to find the diamond,
00:12:43.350 --> 00:12:45.809
but they're still there and they'll still glisten.
00:12:46.029 --> 00:12:47.669
Sometimes you just got to get them wet with tears
00:12:47.669 --> 00:12:53.250
or water or whatever. Yeah, that was good. So
00:12:53.250 --> 00:12:58.429
to me, it sounds like you were in a pickle. You
00:12:58.429 --> 00:13:02.490
are in a spot where you might not have seen a
00:13:02.490 --> 00:13:07.230
way out. or might not have known that this completely
00:13:07.230 --> 00:13:12.789
different path that from teaching, going to nonprofit
00:13:12.789 --> 00:13:15.590
and everything else that you said, you didn't
00:13:15.590 --> 00:13:18.669
know that this was even it was inconceivable.
00:13:19.190 --> 00:13:21.450
You didn't know what was going to happen. So
00:13:21.450 --> 00:13:24.210
it's basically like the unknown. And that's because
00:13:24.210 --> 00:13:27.509
I'm not a psychic. Nobody's a psychic. And even
00:13:27.509 --> 00:13:30.649
if I was, I still don't know everything. because
00:13:30.649 --> 00:13:32.950
there's plenty of great plenty of great psychics
00:13:32.950 --> 00:13:35.389
out there and they're not you know what i mean
00:13:35.389 --> 00:13:37.750
they're not going to know but here's the first
00:13:37.750 --> 00:13:41.769
thing is that what i like to say is i like to
00:13:41.769 --> 00:13:45.690
live one day at a time so basically i'm focusing
00:13:45.690 --> 00:13:49.289
on that day and whatever happens tomorrow i don't
00:13:49.289 --> 00:13:51.769
know because that's the future so that's like
00:13:51.769 --> 00:13:54.929
the fear of the unknown so when i start saying
00:13:55.100 --> 00:13:57.440
This is going to happen. I'm not saying you're
00:13:57.440 --> 00:14:00.700
saying this. I'm saying it's kind of sounds like
00:14:00.700 --> 00:14:04.159
it. And at one point, maybe in your life. And
00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:07.179
this is also a very common scenario. So if I
00:14:07.179 --> 00:14:10.759
say tomorrow or next year, I'm going to be like
00:14:10.759 --> 00:14:14.159
this. A lot of times the thinking, the mindset
00:14:14.159 --> 00:14:17.080
is negative. And then when I do that, then I
00:14:17.080 --> 00:14:19.919
go into fear and worry and go into all this negativity.
00:14:20.019 --> 00:14:23.519
And the other thing is that there is no such
00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:29.029
thing. as a traumatic experience or a sadness
00:14:29.029 --> 00:14:34.730
or any negativity. So that is the thing. Like
00:14:34.730 --> 00:14:37.529
you have a handicap. That's the thing. That's
00:14:37.529 --> 00:14:40.570
a physical thing. But how do you feel about that?
00:14:40.570 --> 00:14:45.269
And how is your mind taking in and absorbing
00:14:45.269 --> 00:14:49.279
that that issue? What you have to go through
00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:52.200
every day is it absorbing it in a negative or
00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:55.159
is it absorbing it in a positive? Do I wake up
00:14:55.159 --> 00:14:57.679
the Special Olympics? I love the Special Olympics
00:14:57.679 --> 00:15:00.639
I think it's fantastic because I can see all
00:15:00.639 --> 00:15:03.259
these people like I know they weren't like that
00:15:03.259 --> 00:15:05.840
their whole life You know what I mean at some
00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:08.169
point. They probably weren't doing great And
00:15:08.169 --> 00:15:10.389
then they went all the way to that. And that
00:15:10.389 --> 00:15:14.029
truly, truly, truly is an amazing thing. But
00:15:14.029 --> 00:15:17.610
the point here is that my mind controls everything.
00:15:17.629 --> 00:15:19.850
Now, whether I have a disease or condition or
00:15:19.850 --> 00:15:23.110
whatever, that's up to the person to really determine
00:15:23.110 --> 00:15:26.690
that for themselves. And. What the severity is
00:15:26.690 --> 00:15:29.970
of it or whatever. But my mind is controlling
00:15:29.970 --> 00:15:33.350
what I do every day and how I think and how I
00:15:33.350 --> 00:15:36.590
react to situations. And I want to know that
00:15:36.590 --> 00:15:40.690
whatever that thing is, it could be like we're
00:15:40.690 --> 00:15:42.909
talking about the handicapped here. It could
00:15:42.909 --> 00:15:46.009
be a trauma if somebody got into a car accident.
00:15:46.450 --> 00:15:48.610
Maybe nothing happened to them. Maybe it was
00:15:48.610 --> 00:15:52.299
just the fear of whatever situation. whatever
00:15:52.299 --> 00:15:54.639
happened in that car accident. I mean, I could
00:15:54.639 --> 00:15:58.019
think of a million examples of this. So whatever
00:15:58.019 --> 00:16:01.279
that thing is, that's a physical thing. So I'm
00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:04.379
really not in a way. This is how I like to explain
00:16:04.379 --> 00:16:07.220
it. In a way, I'm really not connected to that
00:16:07.220 --> 00:16:11.620
thing. I connect. I connect it myself with my
00:16:11.620 --> 00:16:15.419
mind. OK, I make the connection and that's could
00:16:15.419 --> 00:16:19.200
be negative or positive. But do I want to connect
00:16:19.200 --> 00:16:22.960
with it or do I not? I could separate my mind
00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:25.860
from it and say, I don't want to think about
00:16:25.860 --> 00:16:29.100
this. This is a separate thing from me. The physical
00:16:29.100 --> 00:16:31.759
and the mental is separate. Or if I want to connect
00:16:31.759 --> 00:16:35.080
with it and embrace it and love it. And then
00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:38.080
I want to make sure that I'm working on being
00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:42.019
that a positive thinking that is a positive,
00:16:42.379 --> 00:16:44.580
turning it into a positive every single day.
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:46.399
And you know how I do that? You want to know
00:16:46.399 --> 00:16:50.129
the easiest way is I say the opposite. of what
00:16:50.129 --> 00:16:54.389
I'm thinking. So I say I can't get up and walk
00:16:54.389 --> 00:16:58.070
today. I can get up and walk today. So whatever
00:16:58.070 --> 00:17:00.389
I'm thinking that's negative, I just say the
00:17:00.389 --> 00:17:04.150
opposite. Very simple. And then another thing
00:17:04.150 --> 00:17:06.970
is I want to repeat this over and over and over
00:17:06.970 --> 00:17:09.349
again, because then I'm going to say I can't
00:17:09.349 --> 00:17:11.109
walk today. I'm going to go right back to it.
00:17:11.230 --> 00:17:14.380
Then I have to say I can walk today. So I keep
00:17:14.380 --> 00:17:16.720
repeating the same thing over and over again,
00:17:16.740 --> 00:17:19.779
the positive statement. Oh, however I want to
00:17:19.779 --> 00:17:22.619
say it. Then what happens if I keep repeating?
00:17:23.240 --> 00:17:27.420
Eventually, my it digs into my brain. And then
00:17:27.420 --> 00:17:30.500
I just say it and then I just say it. And then
00:17:30.500 --> 00:17:33.079
all of a sudden now I'm not negative anymore.
00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:37.880
It seems like you really came. You learned the
00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:41.799
lesson. You took the step forward. And it seems
00:17:41.799 --> 00:17:45.220
like you really came through the other side without
00:17:45.220 --> 00:17:48.200
knowing what was going to happen. Maybe you had
00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:51.640
some idea or whatever, you know, but even if
00:17:51.640 --> 00:17:55.619
we know, even if we have signs or somebody tells
00:17:55.619 --> 00:17:57.900
us something, we're still not going to know the
00:17:57.900 --> 00:18:01.779
outcome. So to me, it's very, very common that
00:18:01.779 --> 00:18:04.440
a lot of people say, I don't want to do this
00:18:04.440 --> 00:18:06.960
because I'm afraid. And then what are you afraid
00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:09.660
of? I'm afraid of the outcome. I'm afraid of
00:18:09.660 --> 00:18:12.559
what's going to happen. because they're automatically
00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:15.799
projecting that and that's going to be in the
00:18:15.799 --> 00:18:19.119
negative. Then that's the thing. So even if I
00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:23.019
know it's impossible for me to know what the
00:18:23.019 --> 00:18:25.440
outcome is. So I just have to just take that
00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:29.619
leap and say this is presented to me. Somebody
00:18:29.619 --> 00:18:32.019
said I should do this. I'm just going to try
00:18:32.019 --> 00:18:34.359
it. I'm going to have to. I'm not going to think
00:18:34.359 --> 00:18:36.980
about it. I'm not going to project. I'm not going
00:18:36.980 --> 00:18:39.579
to talk myself out of it. I'm just going to try
00:18:39.579 --> 00:18:42.319
it and whatever happens happens. And that's it.
00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:44.839
And then I go negative. I turn into positive.
00:18:44.940 --> 00:18:47.579
Negative turn into positive. So I'm constantly
00:18:47.579 --> 00:18:49.920
doing this every day. I have to do this because
00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:54.400
the whole world is negative. Everybody. Yep.
00:18:54.799 --> 00:18:58.180
I go to the store. Two people are yelling. One
00:18:58.180 --> 00:19:00.839
woman's yelling at the cashier right in front
00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:03.099
of me. The woman that's standing online in front
00:19:03.099 --> 00:19:06.079
of me is yelling at the cashier. I come home,
00:19:06.279 --> 00:19:09.759
my kids are arguing. I go to work, the boss is
00:19:09.759 --> 00:19:13.559
yelling at an employee. Everywhere I go, most
00:19:13.559 --> 00:19:17.940
of the time, from beginning to end, I go outside
00:19:17.940 --> 00:19:20.259
of my house, the neighbor's yelling at the lawnmower
00:19:20.259 --> 00:19:23.160
because the lawnmower broke. I could go on and
00:19:23.160 --> 00:19:27.500
on. I mean, there's tons of things that are around
00:19:27.500 --> 00:19:30.480
us that are negative, but I don't have to be
00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:34.319
that way. And I teach this stuff all the time.
00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:37.059
In a hundred different ways. I mean, I'm just
00:19:37.059 --> 00:19:39.200
just doing a few examples off the top of my head,
00:19:39.299 --> 00:19:41.480
which I know are very common. But I mean, there's
00:19:41.480 --> 00:19:44.380
tons of examples, all different scenarios and
00:19:44.380 --> 00:19:46.680
stories of this different things that we're talking
00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:50.160
about here. But I teach this stuff. So I changed
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:54.119
first because if I don't know it, I can't teach
00:19:54.119 --> 00:19:57.599
it. That's the problem. If I'm not like that,
00:19:57.720 --> 00:20:00.519
right, I can't teach that. And think about when
00:20:00.519 --> 00:20:03.059
you were a teacher, you had to know all the lessons
00:20:03.059 --> 00:20:05.819
and all the answers to the tests. How are you
00:20:05.819 --> 00:20:08.220
gonna grade the tests? How are you gonna pass
00:20:08.220 --> 00:20:10.819
somebody or fail anybody? So the teacher has
00:20:10.819 --> 00:20:13.259
to know, and that's really what I... Consider
00:20:13.259 --> 00:20:16.519
I always say, like, even though I use that title,
00:20:16.740 --> 00:20:18.440
I don't have a teaching degree. You know what
00:20:18.440 --> 00:20:22.119
I mean? I use that title as a coach, transformational
00:20:22.119 --> 00:20:24.480
coach, which is just a very, very general term.
00:20:24.519 --> 00:20:27.339
But there's tons of different things that I do.
00:20:27.740 --> 00:20:32.119
But it really sounds positive what you're saying.
00:20:32.779 --> 00:20:35.619
Because why? Because you told your story, you
00:20:35.619 --> 00:20:39.160
went through the process and you showed us you
00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:43.640
explained. But you also showed us in a way that
00:20:43.640 --> 00:20:46.619
you changed all of that, which sounded like a
00:20:46.619 --> 00:20:49.759
lot. It sounded like a lot. And you've changed
00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:54.099
all of that. And now you're a successful, beautiful
00:20:54.099 --> 00:20:58.059
woman. And that's really the truth. Yeah. Well,
00:20:58.079 --> 00:20:59.759
it's funny when you're attacking to. So it's
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:02.079
like it's so funny when everybody is like, oh.
00:21:02.329 --> 00:21:04.190
You must have fear of failure a lot, and I'm
00:21:04.190 --> 00:21:06.190
like, no, I actually have fear of success. But
00:21:06.190 --> 00:21:08.150
then as you're sharing and all that, it was like
00:21:08.150 --> 00:21:09.809
that was like the mental game happening in my
00:21:09.809 --> 00:21:12.630
brain was like, yeah, you're right. Guess what?
00:21:12.829 --> 00:21:14.930
So if today is successful, then tomorrow's problems
00:21:14.930 --> 00:21:17.109
are tomorrow's. And that's when you get to bring
00:21:17.109 --> 00:21:20.250
more people into your team and you get to do
00:21:20.250 --> 00:21:22.809
more and different things. But yeah, don't overthink
00:21:22.809 --> 00:21:25.170
it. Don't overdo it. Just take the next right
00:21:25.170 --> 00:21:29.690
step and it'll be what it'll be. Because if I
00:21:29.690 --> 00:21:32.089
have something happen, I want to now control
00:21:32.089 --> 00:21:35.150
that thing doesn't work out. Maybe or maybe if
00:21:35.150 --> 00:21:36.809
it does, I don't like the outcome, whatever.
00:21:37.069 --> 00:21:39.589
Now I want to control the situation. I want to
00:21:39.589 --> 00:21:42.289
try to control the next situation because I want
00:21:42.289 --> 00:21:44.470
it to be better. I want it to be some way, but
00:21:44.470 --> 00:21:46.650
it's not going to be the way that I want it nine
00:21:46.650 --> 00:21:49.670
times out of ten. That's the thing. And we have
00:21:49.670 --> 00:21:52.670
the ability to think for ourselves. Every human
00:21:52.670 --> 00:21:55.309
being has the ability. So you have a choice.
00:21:55.549 --> 00:21:58.119
You have something presented to you. Same thing
00:21:58.119 --> 00:22:01.380
with me or anybody. Which way am I going to go?
00:22:01.980 --> 00:22:05.599
Am I going to take that suggestion? If somebody
00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:08.279
says you should do this, you should move on.
00:22:08.420 --> 00:22:10.519
You should get another career. Am I going to
00:22:10.519 --> 00:22:12.660
take that suggestion? Am I going to take that
00:22:12.660 --> 00:22:16.599
advice or am I not? So if I don't, that's one
00:22:16.599 --> 00:22:19.819
path I go on and that's another separate process.
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:22.220
And that'll lead me to another outcome. And if
00:22:22.220 --> 00:22:25.380
I do take it. And I say, oh, this sounds interesting.
00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:27.539
It sounds like a good idea. Maybe I'll try it.
00:22:27.700 --> 00:22:30.460
That leaves me. I go. Now I'm on it. Separate
00:22:30.460 --> 00:22:32.960
doing a separate process. And that leaves me
00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:36.220
to a separate outcome. So we have all different
00:22:36.220 --> 00:22:39.259
paths. Everybody have all different paths that
00:22:39.259 --> 00:22:42.160
we could take. And all of that is going to lead
00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:45.279
us to a different ending. Now could be the ending.
00:22:45.480 --> 00:22:48.799
It could be the beginning. It could be. The end
00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:51.039
of the beginning and then we could start or could
00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:54.440
be ending and then we just completely go. In
00:22:54.440 --> 00:22:57.480
a different direction incomplete so it's there's
00:22:57.480 --> 00:23:00.619
all different situations that you know but that's
00:23:00.619 --> 00:23:03.059
the way i want to start is getting rid of that
00:23:03.059 --> 00:23:06.779
negativity. and changing that and making it a
00:23:06.779 --> 00:23:11.160
positive with every single thing I do, every
00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:15.039
single thing. I have people call me just so they
00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:18.460
could hear positive pages, just so they can hear
00:23:18.460 --> 00:23:21.579
something positive about themselves. It's hysterical.
00:23:21.799 --> 00:23:24.299
And what do I do? I say the opposite of what
00:23:24.299 --> 00:23:27.319
they say. That's all I do. Yeah, that's all I
00:23:27.319 --> 00:23:30.099
do. They'll say, oh, I feel like crap today.
00:23:30.539 --> 00:23:34.230
Oh, no, you feel good. Yep. That's all I do.
00:23:34.529 --> 00:23:36.329
They'll say, oh, I don't like the color of my
00:23:36.329 --> 00:23:38.029
shirt because it's blue. I say, oh, blue is a
00:23:38.029 --> 00:23:42.609
gray color. Yeah, I had a laugh several years
00:23:42.609 --> 00:23:45.650
ago. A leader person was like, do you tell yourself
00:23:45.650 --> 00:23:48.450
you're tired? Like, well, what woman in their
00:23:48.450 --> 00:23:51.069
middle ages don't say that they're tired. They're
00:23:51.069 --> 00:23:52.769
like, well, how many times do you tell yourself
00:23:52.769 --> 00:23:55.170
that in a day? And it's like, oh, yeah, self
00:23:55.170 --> 00:23:56.950
-fulfilling prophecy. You're right there because
00:23:56.950 --> 00:23:59.190
then you're just always saying in the affirmative,
00:23:59.269 --> 00:24:01.680
like, yeah, I am tired. Yeah, I shouldn't have
00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:03.619
done this. I should have gone to bed. I shouldn't
00:24:03.619 --> 00:24:05.359
do this. I should. And then it's like, how much
00:24:05.359 --> 00:24:08.039
energy do you just waste in your thought process
00:24:08.039 --> 00:24:11.660
than just being like, I'm here. Let's do this.
00:24:12.799 --> 00:24:15.299
And I perceive that as a negative. If somebody
00:24:15.299 --> 00:24:18.680
says, oh, are you tired? And even if I am, I
00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:20.619
probably would say, no, I'm not. You know what
00:24:20.619 --> 00:24:23.700
I mean? Just to change it, just to change it
00:24:23.700 --> 00:24:26.000
to me. You might not think that's a negative
00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:29.500
statement, but I kind of do and only because
00:24:29.740 --> 00:24:32.519
When I'm tired, that prevents me from doing things
00:24:32.519 --> 00:24:34.700
because I just want to go to sleep or I just
00:24:34.700 --> 00:24:37.900
want to sit home and binge watch cable TV or
00:24:37.900 --> 00:24:40.839
something like that. It's something it's going
00:24:40.839 --> 00:24:43.039
to be. To me, the outcome is not going to be
00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:45.980
productive. Maybe somebody is really tired. Maybe
00:24:45.980 --> 00:24:48.119
they didn't sleep the night before. Maybe they
00:24:48.119 --> 00:24:51.440
really do need sleep. I don't know. But that's
00:24:51.440 --> 00:24:54.839
why I'm saying. I want to determine, first of
00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:56.920
all, if it's a negative statement, I want to
00:24:56.920 --> 00:25:00.099
take every single statement. It's hard to do
00:25:00.099 --> 00:25:04.099
in the beginning. Every single thought, every
00:25:04.099 --> 00:25:07.400
thought. So I have to listen. I have to analyze
00:25:07.400 --> 00:25:10.039
every single thought, literally, because if I
00:25:10.039 --> 00:25:14.119
say one negative thought, if I think one thing
00:25:14.119 --> 00:25:17.339
about myself, that's not going to have a good
00:25:17.339 --> 00:25:21.180
outcome or I know is going to be uncomfortable
00:25:21.180 --> 00:25:24.920
for me. Then I don't want that. Then I'm negative.
00:25:25.380 --> 00:25:27.599
One negative thing, one negative thought makes
00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:30.660
me negative. That's the problem. You know, that's
00:25:30.660 --> 00:25:33.180
the thing. So people want to fight for other
00:25:33.180 --> 00:25:36.910
people and that's fine. But the problem with
00:25:36.910 --> 00:25:40.430
that is everybody has to fight because a lot
00:25:40.430 --> 00:25:42.930
of people like stand up for themselves, you know,
00:25:42.930 --> 00:25:44.710
in all different ways. I'm not going to physically
00:25:44.710 --> 00:25:47.210
fighting. You know, I'm saying stand up for themselves.
00:25:47.390 --> 00:25:50.309
But the problem with that is everybody has to
00:25:50.309 --> 00:25:52.470
stand up for themselves. And if one or two people
00:25:52.470 --> 00:25:54.950
don't, then they're not. You know what I mean?
00:25:55.150 --> 00:25:58.250
Because you have to constantly be canceling out
00:25:58.250 --> 00:26:01.009
that negativity. So it's looking for an opening.
00:26:01.259 --> 00:26:04.259
So wherever it can find an opening, it will go
00:26:04.259 --> 00:26:08.619
into you and it will just just grab you. That's
00:26:08.619 --> 00:26:10.819
the thing. You can't have an opening. And even
00:26:10.819 --> 00:26:12.460
I would say for people when they're asking those
00:26:12.460 --> 00:26:14.680
questions, too, you know what I mean? Like, don't
00:26:14.680 --> 00:26:16.740
come up and be like, oh, Debbie, you're looking
00:26:16.740 --> 00:26:19.240
really tired. Are you tired instead of just like,
00:26:19.259 --> 00:26:20.940
hey, Debbie, it's so great to see you. How are
00:26:20.940 --> 00:26:23.960
you feeling today? Like, it's so refreshing when
00:26:23.960 --> 00:26:26.319
you come across the second example than when
00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:29.069
you come across the first. It's like. Oh, yeah,
00:26:29.069 --> 00:26:31.109
you're right. I haven't finished my caffeine
00:26:31.109 --> 00:26:33.109
today. Oh, you're right. I haven't slept well
00:26:33.109 --> 00:26:36.529
in four weeks. Like it just sends the other person
00:26:36.529 --> 00:26:41.549
down this highway of not good things. And then
00:26:41.549 --> 00:26:44.410
you'll be able to do this to other people. You'll
00:26:44.410 --> 00:26:46.789
be able to say, oh, you look really good today
00:26:46.789 --> 00:26:50.569
instead of, oh, you look really tired. You look
00:26:50.569 --> 00:26:52.809
horrible. You should spend the next 15 hours
00:26:52.809 --> 00:26:55.970
in bed sleeping. I mean, there's a difference.
00:26:56.200 --> 00:26:58.680
So I don't say anything negative to anybody,
00:26:58.680 --> 00:27:00.940
you know, and that's another reason why I like
00:27:00.940 --> 00:27:03.640
this podcast where we tell our story, because
00:27:03.640 --> 00:27:06.640
the feedback that I give nine times out of 10
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:09.200
is going to be positive. I might not say it at
00:27:09.200 --> 00:27:11.380
the beginning because we're talking about what
00:27:11.380 --> 00:27:13.220
the process, right, what the person is doing.
00:27:13.660 --> 00:27:17.359
But I always want to talk about what's the positive
00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:21.099
out of this story. That's the main thing. What
00:27:21.099 --> 00:27:25.099
can happen that's going to be good for me? That's
00:27:25.099 --> 00:27:27.440
going to be better. better than the life that
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:30.420
I'm living now, I'm going to be happier. And
00:27:30.420 --> 00:27:33.480
if I want to sit in my suffering and I want to
00:27:33.480 --> 00:27:37.200
stay there, that's perfectly fine with me. I'm
00:27:37.200 --> 00:27:40.359
not like that. I'm not that way today. I went
00:27:40.359 --> 00:27:44.220
through my process and I came out the other side.
00:27:44.339 --> 00:27:48.200
I have my own story. But if somebody wants that,
00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:51.299
that's fine. If somebody doesn't write, then
00:27:51.299 --> 00:27:53.420
they can change. They definitely can, whether
00:27:53.420 --> 00:27:57.000
they think so or not. That's not the issue. You
00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:58.900
could think whatever you want. It doesn't matter.
00:27:59.380 --> 00:28:02.299
If you can put in the footwork and you can say,
00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:05.500
I'm willing or maybe I'm going to give it a try
00:28:05.500 --> 00:28:08.299
or just have blind faith or I don't know if this
00:28:08.299 --> 00:28:10.339
is going to work. That's really all that's going
00:28:10.339 --> 00:28:13.400
to be really required. Really, when you really,
00:28:13.400 --> 00:28:16.240
really think about it, because some people do
00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:18.299
it on their own. And I have a lot of people on
00:28:18.299 --> 00:28:21.259
this podcast. They tell their story and a lot
00:28:21.259 --> 00:28:23.819
of them. Some people did it with help, but some
00:28:23.819 --> 00:28:27.460
people went through their process and they just
00:28:27.460 --> 00:28:30.339
knew that eventually as they were going through
00:28:30.339 --> 00:28:32.039
their process, they just knew that they needed
00:28:32.039 --> 00:28:34.640
to change. And then something happened and then
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:36.579
they did it and then something else happened.
00:28:36.579 --> 00:28:39.960
And that's how they were able to come come to
00:28:39.960 --> 00:28:43.099
that, get over that those things. So that's the
00:28:43.099 --> 00:28:46.259
thing. So like I said, everybody has different
00:28:46.259 --> 00:28:49.559
situations. But the best thing to do is I'm not
00:28:49.559 --> 00:28:51.599
trying to sell myself because this is not about
00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:55.009
selling. But the best thing to do is work with
00:28:55.009 --> 00:28:58.250
somebody in a professional field. I'm a coach.
00:28:58.470 --> 00:29:00.970
I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a psychiatrist.
00:29:01.569 --> 00:29:04.430
I don't I'm not a doctor. I don't prescribe medication.
00:29:04.630 --> 00:29:07.150
I don't have any degrees and I have no desire
00:29:07.150 --> 00:29:11.210
to have any degrees at all because that's not
00:29:11.210 --> 00:29:15.450
what I teach. And that's not the direction that
00:29:15.450 --> 00:29:17.769
I want to go into. If somebody wants to seek
00:29:17.769 --> 00:29:20.640
that out, that's fine with them. But there are
00:29:20.640 --> 00:29:23.299
a lot of people in this world that have done
00:29:23.299 --> 00:29:26.099
that and that has not worked. And that's the
00:29:26.099 --> 00:29:28.220
whole thing. And that's why they're seeking other
00:29:28.220 --> 00:29:30.660
people out. And that's the best way to do it
00:29:30.660 --> 00:29:33.380
is work with, like I said, whoever you think
00:29:33.380 --> 00:29:35.740
is a professional or whatever, whoever you want
00:29:35.740 --> 00:29:39.480
to do it and one on one. And that will help you
00:29:39.480 --> 00:29:41.920
to determine your outcome because it doesn't
00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:43.880
your life doesn't have to be the way that it
00:29:43.880 --> 00:29:47.500
is now. If if somebody is unhappy and just a
00:29:47.500 --> 00:29:49.680
little bit. Just a little part of their life,
00:29:49.779 --> 00:29:51.619
then they're unhappy. Yeah. And sometimes we
00:29:51.619 --> 00:29:54.279
go through hard life lessons and it's not necessarily
00:29:54.279 --> 00:29:56.519
all about us either. Sometimes we go through
00:29:56.519 --> 00:29:58.579
things to get through our process, to get to
00:29:58.579 --> 00:30:01.400
the other healed side and that positive side
00:30:01.400 --> 00:30:03.920
to then see the next person that's coming alongside
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:07.660
that has similar situations or whatever. And
00:30:07.660 --> 00:30:09.720
they're just learning and helping each other
00:30:09.720 --> 00:30:12.339
out. So we're definitely interdependent, not
00:30:12.339 --> 00:30:15.559
independent. Yeah. Definitely. This has been
00:30:15.559 --> 00:30:18.519
very good. As we close, this conversation is
00:30:18.519 --> 00:30:20.839
a reminder that progress really comes from one
00:30:20.839 --> 00:30:24.079
big decision, but from the internal choices we
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:26.519
repeat. If something from today's discussion
00:30:26.519 --> 00:30:28.940
connected with you, take a moment to notice how
00:30:28.940 --> 00:30:31.259
those internal choices show up in your own life.
00:30:31.579 --> 00:30:33.339
This has been the Internal Shift Show. Thank
00:30:33.339 --> 00:30:35.140
you for listening and thank you, Jennifer, for
00:30:35.140 --> 00:30:36.700
being on the show. I appreciate it.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.359
Welcome to the Internal Shift Show. I'm Debbie
00:00:02.359 --> 00:00:05.280
Longo, Transformational Coach. This show explores
00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:09.640
how the way we think, decide and respond internally
00:00:09.640 --> 00:00:12.859
influences where we end up over time. Today's
00:00:12.859 --> 00:00:15.599
conversation draws on real experience and expertise
00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:18.460
to look at how small internal shifts can change
00:00:18.460 --> 00:00:21.460
direction, momentum and outcomes. We have a very
00:00:21.460 --> 00:00:24.260
special guest today, Jenna Udenberg. Good afternoon,
00:00:24.440 --> 00:00:26.739
Jenna. Welcome to the show. Hi, Debbie. Thanks
00:00:26.739 --> 00:00:29.920
for having me. What I'm gonna ask for you to
00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:34.380
do is basically tell your story and focus on
00:00:34.380 --> 00:00:37.640
a traumatic experience or life change and then
00:00:37.640 --> 00:00:40.359
how you went through that process and what was
00:00:40.359 --> 00:00:42.979
the end result and the end result should always
00:00:42.979 --> 00:00:45.799
be positive. Now, one of the reasons why I do
00:00:45.799 --> 00:00:48.140
this is because there's somebody out there, everybody
00:00:48.140 --> 00:00:51.890
has their own individual story. But there's somebody
00:00:51.890 --> 00:00:54.829
out there that can identify with a certain part
00:00:54.829 --> 00:00:58.369
of your story. And we want to explain and show
00:00:58.369 --> 00:01:01.369
to these people, like the listener, right? Whoever,
00:01:01.710 --> 00:01:04.290
whatever part that they can identify with that
00:01:04.290 --> 00:01:07.069
there is a way out and they don't have to sit
00:01:07.069 --> 00:01:09.370
in their sick and suffering because a lot of
00:01:09.370 --> 00:01:11.989
times people don't know that they can get better.
00:01:12.530 --> 00:01:14.829
They just want to sit in the negative. They think
00:01:14.829 --> 00:01:16.969
that that's going to be their life for their
00:01:16.969 --> 00:01:20.049
whole entire life. They don't know they're uneducated.
00:01:20.069 --> 00:01:23.030
They don't want to do it. There's a million different
00:01:23.030 --> 00:01:26.189
reasons. But a lot of times, if somebody could
00:01:26.189 --> 00:01:29.810
see the process, if somebody's explaining it,
00:01:30.010 --> 00:01:32.430
sometimes people can visualize it in their in
00:01:32.430 --> 00:01:35.150
their minds, their own life. Very similar to
00:01:35.150 --> 00:01:38.189
what you're saying. Then they can see that they
00:01:38.189 --> 00:01:42.189
can get out of it. At least we are showing them.
00:01:42.519 --> 00:01:45.040
At least we're kind of like giving them an education,
00:01:45.040 --> 00:01:47.379
you know, and that's what I'm really going to
00:01:47.379 --> 00:01:49.640
ask you to do. So if you could do that, I would
00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:53.000
appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. So
00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:55.799
a little bit about where I came from. I grew
00:01:55.799 --> 00:01:58.459
up in rural Minnesota on beautiful Lake Superior
00:01:58.459 --> 00:02:01.739
by age seven. I was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis
00:02:01.739 --> 00:02:03.599
and by age eight I was in a manual wheelchair.
00:02:04.090 --> 00:02:06.170
So it just kind of gives you a context of the
00:02:06.170 --> 00:02:09.370
late 80s, early 90s of becoming a disabled young
00:02:09.370 --> 00:02:12.110
person with not a lot of resources and not a
00:02:12.110 --> 00:02:15.069
lot of the cool things that we see in life today.
00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:18.090
Not a lot of accessibility, not a lot of access
00:02:18.090 --> 00:02:21.969
to adaptive recreation and all just all the things
00:02:21.969 --> 00:02:25.430
that we now know today. And I became a music
00:02:25.430 --> 00:02:28.129
educator because I had an amazing eighth grade
00:02:28.129 --> 00:02:30.610
band director who saw me as a person and that
00:02:30.610 --> 00:02:34.620
inspired me to want to go into it. Not the music
00:02:34.620 --> 00:02:36.819
of chord structure, not all the different instruments,
00:02:36.860 --> 00:02:42.419
all the things. And so growing up, life wasn't
00:02:42.419 --> 00:02:45.439
easy. That was the era of pick yourself up by
00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:48.180
your bootstraps. Make lemonade out of lemons.
00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:52.099
Lots of ableist type of connotations. And have
00:02:52.099 --> 00:02:54.099
all those things come out of my mouth before?
00:02:55.259 --> 00:02:59.960
Absolutely. But as I went through things of discrimination,
00:02:59.960 --> 00:03:03.500
as I went through bullying, as I went through
00:03:03.500 --> 00:03:06.699
spaces and places that were not made for me,
00:03:06.780 --> 00:03:10.020
that I was not welcome in, I had to develop grit.
00:03:10.199 --> 00:03:14.699
I had to develop my reliance on others. And so
00:03:14.699 --> 00:03:17.580
the story that I'm going to choose to share with
00:03:17.580 --> 00:03:19.840
your audience today is something that's more
00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:22.060
recent, but you needed to know some of that background
00:03:22.060 --> 00:03:25.060
information of all the things I went through.
00:03:25.580 --> 00:03:27.460
And I started doing orthopedic surgeries at age
00:03:27.460 --> 00:03:30.990
15. So I think to date I've had 19 surgeries.
00:03:30.990 --> 00:03:33.669
I have six different joint replacements. I'm
00:03:33.669 --> 00:03:36.550
still in a manual wheelchair. I'm a proud disabled
00:03:36.550 --> 00:03:38.750
young woman, middle -aged woman. I forget about
00:03:38.750 --> 00:03:43.990
that new label, but I had a wonderful 19 -year
00:03:43.990 --> 00:03:47.889
career as a music educator. I have both certifications
00:03:47.889 --> 00:03:51.849
in instrumental and vocal K -12. I've taught
00:03:51.849 --> 00:03:54.909
anywhere from community schools that are charter
00:03:54.909 --> 00:03:58.550
schools to parochial private Catholic schools
00:03:58.550 --> 00:04:01.889
to ending my career in a public high school,
00:04:01.949 --> 00:04:04.969
elementary, two different schools. Our school
00:04:04.969 --> 00:04:07.169
district is actually the size of Rhode Island
00:04:07.169 --> 00:04:10.930
when it comes to geography. So a lot of empty
00:04:10.930 --> 00:04:13.389
land and forest in between, but just to give
00:04:13.389 --> 00:04:16.870
you some context. And so again, most of my life
00:04:16.870 --> 00:04:18.850
I was dealing with my physical disability. Everyone
00:04:18.850 --> 00:04:21.709
saw my wheelchair first and made a lot of assumptions
00:04:21.709 --> 00:04:24.509
and not good assumptions more often than not.
00:04:25.169 --> 00:04:28.949
And so when the COVID -19 pandemic happened,
00:04:29.449 --> 00:04:32.990
all of us were just a hot mess. The whole world
00:04:32.990 --> 00:04:35.290
was a hot mess, let's just be honest. Because
00:04:35.290 --> 00:04:37.850
we never experienced that before. And the uncertainty
00:04:37.850 --> 00:04:41.350
was a killer. And that was the first time that
00:04:41.350 --> 00:04:45.470
my invisible disabilities of being immunocompromised,
00:04:45.870 --> 00:04:50.029
of being somebody that has multiple diagnoses,
00:04:50.089 --> 00:04:52.569
not just my juvenile arthritis at that point
00:04:52.569 --> 00:04:54.949
in my life, and all the medications and what
00:04:54.949 --> 00:04:58.009
that did to me. And so I was getting ready to
00:04:58.009 --> 00:05:00.670
just head back into the classroom and working
00:05:00.670 --> 00:05:03.250
with administration to figure out how is this
00:05:03.250 --> 00:05:06.230
going to look. I can't unmask and eat in the
00:05:06.230 --> 00:05:08.949
faculty room. I can't unmask in my music room
00:05:08.949 --> 00:05:11.209
where all these kids were just coughing and sneezing
00:05:11.209 --> 00:05:14.509
and singing and all the things. And we were a
00:05:14.509 --> 00:05:17.310
week out from me at Joining my classroom and
00:05:17.310 --> 00:05:19.850
joining my peers and being a part of things and
00:05:19.850 --> 00:05:22.589
I thought I'd get to either stay here in the
00:05:22.589 --> 00:05:24.970
space I'm coming to you from today and teach
00:05:24.970 --> 00:05:29.810
virtually or be in place and about the bubble
00:05:29.810 --> 00:05:31.990
and that was a part of life back in that time
00:05:31.990 --> 00:05:34.930
and Literally the school district came back though
00:05:34.930 --> 00:05:37.089
like days before we were supposed to enter the
00:05:37.089 --> 00:05:39.490
classroom and they said we're no longer interested
00:05:39.490 --> 00:05:42.199
in accommodating your work from home order. And
00:05:42.199 --> 00:05:44.899
we are prepared to make you take a disability
00:05:44.899 --> 00:05:47.699
retirement. You need to work with the union.
00:05:48.300 --> 00:05:51.379
We're working with our lawyers. I found my own
00:05:51.379 --> 00:05:54.120
disability lawyer that nobody knew about and
00:05:54.120 --> 00:05:57.819
just had to protect all the things. And so my
00:05:57.819 --> 00:06:01.100
story today is really about identity crisis because
00:06:01.100 --> 00:06:06.939
so much of who I was was wrapped up in Miss You
00:06:06.939 --> 00:06:08.819
because my kids couldn't say Udenburg because
00:06:08.819 --> 00:06:11.949
most of us can't. So my kids called me miss you.
00:06:12.089 --> 00:06:14.569
And so so much of my life was wrapped up in that.
00:06:14.589 --> 00:06:18.670
And I didn't realize how much. When it was unexpected,
00:06:18.910 --> 00:06:21.009
I didn't get to have any final concerts. I didn't
00:06:21.009 --> 00:06:22.709
get to have any final programs. I didn't get
00:06:22.709 --> 00:06:25.589
to say goodbye to my kids. A month or two into
00:06:25.589 --> 00:06:29.629
the battle, I had my friends, coworkers, colleagues
00:06:29.629 --> 00:06:32.850
texting me saying, Jenna, this feels really gross,
00:06:33.370 --> 00:06:36.759
because the kids think you died of COVID. Can
00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:38.759
you make a video? Can you make us something?
00:06:39.079 --> 00:06:40.720
Like these kids need to know that you're okay.
00:06:40.879 --> 00:06:42.639
It's just that you're no longer their music teacher.
00:06:43.439 --> 00:06:46.139
And that just rips your heart out, shoves the
00:06:46.139 --> 00:06:49.139
knife in, twists it, all the things, right? And
00:06:49.139 --> 00:06:51.220
yet legally I was bound up. I couldn't really
00:06:51.220 --> 00:06:53.339
say anything. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't
00:06:53.339 --> 00:06:56.279
do the very things that I knew was good. And
00:06:56.279 --> 00:06:59.519
so that was super hard. And then when I was cleaning
00:06:59.519 --> 00:07:02.389
up this space, picking up maracas and all the
00:07:02.389 --> 00:07:06.170
little instruments that one does elementary music
00:07:06.170 --> 00:07:10.670
with in this space, tears coming down my face,
00:07:10.750 --> 00:07:13.850
all the things. I was given the words accessibility
00:07:13.850 --> 00:07:15.670
educator and I was like, I don't know what that
00:07:15.670 --> 00:07:18.490
means. I've never heard that terminology before.
00:07:18.509 --> 00:07:22.009
I don't understand it. And so for whatever in
00:07:22.009 --> 00:07:25.389
my head, it was like, well, if I'm done as a
00:07:25.389 --> 00:07:27.790
music teacher, then therefore all of education
00:07:27.790 --> 00:07:31.620
is also done. Like, at least for me, I'm such
00:07:31.620 --> 00:07:34.040
an all -or -nothing person. It's either all black,
00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:36.720
it's all white, I hate gray, but we're always
00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:38.779
living in the gray because that's just human
00:07:38.779 --> 00:07:44.699
life. And so it took months to over a year to
00:07:44.699 --> 00:07:48.180
be like, oh no, all of these soft skills that
00:07:48.180 --> 00:07:50.720
you learn as an educator or however you're trained,
00:07:51.399 --> 00:07:54.839
they translate amazingly into other spaces and
00:07:54.839 --> 00:07:59.269
places. During this time, I was a 2020 Bush fellow,
00:07:59.529 --> 00:08:02.129
and so I was so thankful of how all the timing
00:08:02.129 --> 00:08:05.810
just worked out. And so in being a Bush fellow,
00:08:06.370 --> 00:08:09.050
I was developing my own leadership skills. I
00:08:09.050 --> 00:08:12.170
was doing E Cornell coursework and trainings
00:08:12.170 --> 00:08:15.550
and leadership certifications and starting to
00:08:15.550 --> 00:08:18.449
figure out how can I develop a nonprofit? How
00:08:18.449 --> 00:08:21.129
can I tell my story? I don't want to have to
00:08:21.129 --> 00:08:25.370
have 5 ,000 coffee conversations to make one
00:08:25.370 --> 00:08:28.149
impact in policy or to make things more accessible.
00:08:28.389 --> 00:08:32.450
And so I wrote my memoir and. It was just interesting
00:08:32.450 --> 00:08:35.549
to see the doors that opened that would not have
00:08:35.549 --> 00:08:38.029
opened. Had I still been back in that classroom?
00:08:38.029 --> 00:08:41.110
Had I still been an employee? Had I still had
00:08:41.110 --> 00:08:43.809
the label of music teacher or miss you? And yet
00:08:43.809 --> 00:08:47.690
I still was able to have that connection to kids.
00:08:47.690 --> 00:08:50.629
I also coach Lego robotics and so I was allowed
00:08:50.629 --> 00:08:53.539
to continue to. to coach virtually and have somebody
00:08:53.539 --> 00:08:56.860
there in person and all the things. And so Miss
00:08:56.860 --> 00:08:59.460
You is still alive, just in a different way.
00:08:59.899 --> 00:09:02.039
And so with Accessibility Educator, it was like,
00:09:02.100 --> 00:09:05.500
OK, well, now I need to find new people. I need
00:09:05.500 --> 00:09:07.120
to find those that have gone before me in the
00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:09.080
nonprofit sector. I need to find people that
00:09:09.080 --> 00:09:12.580
are more skilled in these things and reach out
00:09:12.580 --> 00:09:15.440
to friends who have done this before. And so,
00:09:15.460 --> 00:09:17.360
like you said, kind of in the beginning, too,
00:09:18.019 --> 00:09:20.500
is for me, the nutshell is representation matters.
00:09:20.889 --> 00:09:23.309
I needed to find people that looked like me,
00:09:23.429 --> 00:09:26.629
that acted like me, that had a passion like me.
00:09:27.250 --> 00:09:30.289
And the scary part of going into becoming an
00:09:30.289 --> 00:09:32.450
accessibility educator, becoming a disability
00:09:32.450 --> 00:09:36.669
activist and active advocate is that I live this
00:09:36.669 --> 00:09:39.509
life every day. So right now, being completely
00:09:39.509 --> 00:09:41.750
vulnerable with you right now, like today's a
00:09:41.750 --> 00:09:44.590
rough day. I'm in northern Minnesota. We had
00:09:44.590 --> 00:09:46.490
a blizzard last week. Nothing compared to the
00:09:46.490 --> 00:09:49.549
East Coast is going through now, but the ice
00:09:49.549 --> 00:09:53.320
and snow makes all environments not accessible
00:09:53.320 --> 00:09:56.399
for me. And so when you add in, now it's like,
00:09:56.399 --> 00:09:58.379
oh, and I'll leave this nonprofit. Now go and
00:09:58.379 --> 00:10:01.259
do these works to change policy, to change procedures,
00:10:01.700 --> 00:10:04.759
to raise awareness. There has to be, for me,
00:10:04.820 --> 00:10:08.779
there has to be that balance of self -care and
00:10:08.779 --> 00:10:12.460
the ability of seeing all of these challenges
00:10:12.460 --> 00:10:15.419
or opportunities as really a marathon and not
00:10:15.419 --> 00:10:18.830
a sprint. And so... Being vulnerable and even
00:10:18.830 --> 00:10:22.110
coming today to share these stories is how do
00:10:22.110 --> 00:10:24.769
we go from where we find ourselves, whether it's
00:10:24.769 --> 00:10:27.889
emotionally, hormonally, lack of sleep, lack
00:10:27.889 --> 00:10:31.210
of good food. All the things that we don't realize
00:10:31.210 --> 00:10:34.610
are just the everyday little things that slowly
00:10:34.610 --> 00:10:37.049
bring us down and down and down and down. But
00:10:37.049 --> 00:10:39.830
then the reverse of it is there are just little
00:10:39.830 --> 00:10:42.529
simple things that can bring us back up out of
00:10:42.529 --> 00:10:45.870
that pit or out of that cave. Like it just depends
00:10:45.870 --> 00:10:48.559
on how long we've been there. And I also, as
00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:52.279
somebody who has suicide ideation back in my
00:10:52.279 --> 00:10:54.600
teens, I do have to be careful in some of those
00:10:54.600 --> 00:10:57.860
spaces as well, because it's such a slippery
00:10:57.860 --> 00:11:00.740
slope when you start letting one part of your
00:11:00.740 --> 00:11:06.240
medical or your whole being take a hit. And so,
00:11:06.580 --> 00:11:09.720
being self -reflective, and for me, because I'm
00:11:09.720 --> 00:11:12.600
not married, I'm not connected in any of those
00:11:12.600 --> 00:11:15.539
ways, it's very important for me to stay intentional.
00:11:16.199 --> 00:11:20.360
of making sure that my support system is clued
00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:22.720
in, because they can't read my mind. And that
00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:25.600
was one of the greatest lessons that I ever learned
00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:27.559
from a very good friend, which was really hard.
00:11:28.419 --> 00:11:31.399
But people can't read our minds. Don't make assumptions
00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:34.279
that they're gonna know. Don't put expectations
00:11:34.279 --> 00:11:36.840
on them that they should know, because I don't
00:11:36.840 --> 00:11:39.179
know. Because whatever expectations I'm putting
00:11:39.179 --> 00:11:41.419
out into the world, then I'm saying that the
00:11:41.419 --> 00:11:43.200
rest of the world can put on me. And that doesn't
00:11:43.200 --> 00:11:45.179
feel good. That's a heavy lift. That's really
00:11:45.179 --> 00:11:47.820
hard. So I'm trying to be a better communicator.
00:11:47.919 --> 00:11:50.600
I still struggle with that. We still go to default
00:11:50.600 --> 00:11:53.700
mode. We go to the places in which our family
00:11:53.700 --> 00:11:57.019
of origin was a part of, unless you do some really
00:11:57.019 --> 00:12:00.279
deep, hard work and you're really held accountable
00:12:00.279 --> 00:12:03.779
to change that default script, that default mode.
00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:07.059
But I love being in spaces with transformational
00:12:07.059 --> 00:12:10.879
leaders. I love being in spaces that are safe
00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:13.990
places for us to grow and learn. And so I try
00:12:13.990 --> 00:12:17.070
to create those spaces for people that are in
00:12:17.070 --> 00:12:19.590
leadership with me or that I'm alongside. And
00:12:19.590 --> 00:12:22.409
I desire to learn more of those tips and tricks,
00:12:22.529 --> 00:12:25.330
because like I said, today's a rough day. It's
00:12:25.330 --> 00:12:28.169
been a rough week of access issues and just lots
00:12:28.169 --> 00:12:31.450
of work and things that are hard. But that's
00:12:31.450 --> 00:12:33.470
why I so look forward to our conversation today,
00:12:33.490 --> 00:12:36.450
because I knew that you would help me even in
00:12:36.450 --> 00:12:39.090
talking. just bring out those kernels and those
00:12:39.090 --> 00:12:41.350
diamonds that are still in the rough. And you
00:12:41.350 --> 00:12:43.110
still got to do the work to find the diamond,
00:12:43.350 --> 00:12:45.809
but they're still there and they'll still glisten.
00:12:46.029 --> 00:12:47.669
Sometimes you just got to get them wet with tears
00:12:47.669 --> 00:12:53.250
or water or whatever. Yeah, that was good. So
00:12:53.250 --> 00:12:58.429
to me, it sounds like you were in a pickle. You
00:12:58.429 --> 00:13:02.490
are in a spot where you might not have seen a
00:13:02.490 --> 00:13:07.230
way out. or might not have known that this completely
00:13:07.230 --> 00:13:12.789
different path that from teaching, going to nonprofit
00:13:12.789 --> 00:13:15.590
and everything else that you said, you didn't
00:13:15.590 --> 00:13:18.669
know that this was even it was inconceivable.
00:13:19.190 --> 00:13:21.450
You didn't know what was going to happen. So
00:13:21.450 --> 00:13:24.210
it's basically like the unknown. And that's because
00:13:24.210 --> 00:13:27.509
I'm not a psychic. Nobody's a psychic. And even
00:13:27.509 --> 00:13:30.649
if I was, I still don't know everything. because
00:13:30.649 --> 00:13:32.950
there's plenty of great plenty of great psychics
00:13:32.950 --> 00:13:35.389
out there and they're not you know what i mean
00:13:35.389 --> 00:13:37.750
they're not going to know but here's the first
00:13:37.750 --> 00:13:41.769
thing is that what i like to say is i like to
00:13:41.769 --> 00:13:45.690
live one day at a time so basically i'm focusing
00:13:45.690 --> 00:13:49.289
on that day and whatever happens tomorrow i don't
00:13:49.289 --> 00:13:51.769
know because that's the future so that's like
00:13:51.769 --> 00:13:54.929
the fear of the unknown so when i start saying
00:13:55.100 --> 00:13:57.440
This is going to happen. I'm not saying you're
00:13:57.440 --> 00:14:00.700
saying this. I'm saying it's kind of sounds like
00:14:00.700 --> 00:14:04.159
it. And at one point, maybe in your life. And
00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:07.179
this is also a very common scenario. So if I
00:14:07.179 --> 00:14:10.759
say tomorrow or next year, I'm going to be like
00:14:10.759 --> 00:14:14.159
this. A lot of times the thinking, the mindset
00:14:14.159 --> 00:14:17.080
is negative. And then when I do that, then I
00:14:17.080 --> 00:14:19.919
go into fear and worry and go into all this negativity.
00:14:20.019 --> 00:14:23.519
And the other thing is that there is no such
00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:29.029
thing. as a traumatic experience or a sadness
00:14:29.029 --> 00:14:34.730
or any negativity. So that is the thing. Like
00:14:34.730 --> 00:14:37.529
you have a handicap. That's the thing. That's
00:14:37.529 --> 00:14:40.570
a physical thing. But how do you feel about that?
00:14:40.570 --> 00:14:45.269
And how is your mind taking in and absorbing
00:14:45.269 --> 00:14:49.279
that that issue? What you have to go through
00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:52.200
every day is it absorbing it in a negative or
00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:55.159
is it absorbing it in a positive? Do I wake up
00:14:55.159 --> 00:14:57.679
the Special Olympics? I love the Special Olympics
00:14:57.679 --> 00:15:00.639
I think it's fantastic because I can see all
00:15:00.639 --> 00:15:03.259
these people like I know they weren't like that
00:15:03.259 --> 00:15:05.840
their whole life You know what I mean at some
00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:08.169
point. They probably weren't doing great And
00:15:08.169 --> 00:15:10.389
then they went all the way to that. And that
00:15:10.389 --> 00:15:14.029
truly, truly, truly is an amazing thing. But
00:15:14.029 --> 00:15:17.610
the point here is that my mind controls everything.
00:15:17.629 --> 00:15:19.850
Now, whether I have a disease or condition or
00:15:19.850 --> 00:15:23.110
whatever, that's up to the person to really determine
00:15:23.110 --> 00:15:26.690
that for themselves. And. What the severity is
00:15:26.690 --> 00:15:29.970
of it or whatever. But my mind is controlling
00:15:29.970 --> 00:15:33.350
what I do every day and how I think and how I
00:15:33.350 --> 00:15:36.590
react to situations. And I want to know that
00:15:36.590 --> 00:15:40.690
whatever that thing is, it could be like we're
00:15:40.690 --> 00:15:42.909
talking about the handicapped here. It could
00:15:42.909 --> 00:15:46.009
be a trauma if somebody got into a car accident.
00:15:46.450 --> 00:15:48.610
Maybe nothing happened to them. Maybe it was
00:15:48.610 --> 00:15:52.299
just the fear of whatever situation. whatever
00:15:52.299 --> 00:15:54.639
happened in that car accident. I mean, I could
00:15:54.639 --> 00:15:58.019
think of a million examples of this. So whatever
00:15:58.019 --> 00:16:01.279
that thing is, that's a physical thing. So I'm
00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:04.379
really not in a way. This is how I like to explain
00:16:04.379 --> 00:16:07.220
it. In a way, I'm really not connected to that
00:16:07.220 --> 00:16:11.620
thing. I connect. I connect it myself with my
00:16:11.620 --> 00:16:15.419
mind. OK, I make the connection and that's could
00:16:15.419 --> 00:16:19.200
be negative or positive. But do I want to connect
00:16:19.200 --> 00:16:22.960
with it or do I not? I could separate my mind
00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:25.860
from it and say, I don't want to think about
00:16:25.860 --> 00:16:29.100
this. This is a separate thing from me. The physical
00:16:29.100 --> 00:16:31.759
and the mental is separate. Or if I want to connect
00:16:31.759 --> 00:16:35.080
with it and embrace it and love it. And then
00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:38.080
I want to make sure that I'm working on being
00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:42.019
that a positive thinking that is a positive,
00:16:42.379 --> 00:16:44.580
turning it into a positive every single day.
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:46.399
And you know how I do that? You want to know
00:16:46.399 --> 00:16:50.129
the easiest way is I say the opposite. of what
00:16:50.129 --> 00:16:54.389
I'm thinking. So I say I can't get up and walk
00:16:54.389 --> 00:16:58.070
today. I can get up and walk today. So whatever
00:16:58.070 --> 00:17:00.389
I'm thinking that's negative, I just say the
00:17:00.389 --> 00:17:04.150
opposite. Very simple. And then another thing
00:17:04.150 --> 00:17:06.970
is I want to repeat this over and over and over
00:17:06.970 --> 00:17:09.349
again, because then I'm going to say I can't
00:17:09.349 --> 00:17:11.109
walk today. I'm going to go right back to it.
00:17:11.230 --> 00:17:14.380
Then I have to say I can walk today. So I keep
00:17:14.380 --> 00:17:16.720
repeating the same thing over and over again,
00:17:16.740 --> 00:17:19.779
the positive statement. Oh, however I want to
00:17:19.779 --> 00:17:22.619
say it. Then what happens if I keep repeating?
00:17:23.240 --> 00:17:27.420
Eventually, my it digs into my brain. And then
00:17:27.420 --> 00:17:30.500
I just say it and then I just say it. And then
00:17:30.500 --> 00:17:33.079
all of a sudden now I'm not negative anymore.
00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:37.880
It seems like you really came. You learned the
00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:41.799
lesson. You took the step forward. And it seems
00:17:41.799 --> 00:17:45.220
like you really came through the other side without
00:17:45.220 --> 00:17:48.200
knowing what was going to happen. Maybe you had
00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:51.640
some idea or whatever, you know, but even if
00:17:51.640 --> 00:17:55.619
we know, even if we have signs or somebody tells
00:17:55.619 --> 00:17:57.900
us something, we're still not going to know the
00:17:57.900 --> 00:18:01.779
outcome. So to me, it's very, very common that
00:18:01.779 --> 00:18:04.440
a lot of people say, I don't want to do this
00:18:04.440 --> 00:18:06.960
because I'm afraid. And then what are you afraid
00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:09.660
of? I'm afraid of the outcome. I'm afraid of
00:18:09.660 --> 00:18:12.559
what's going to happen. because they're automatically
00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:15.799
projecting that and that's going to be in the
00:18:15.799 --> 00:18:19.119
negative. Then that's the thing. So even if I
00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:23.019
know it's impossible for me to know what the
00:18:23.019 --> 00:18:25.440
outcome is. So I just have to just take that
00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:29.619
leap and say this is presented to me. Somebody
00:18:29.619 --> 00:18:32.019
said I should do this. I'm just going to try
00:18:32.019 --> 00:18:34.359
it. I'm going to have to. I'm not going to think
00:18:34.359 --> 00:18:36.980
about it. I'm not going to project. I'm not going
00:18:36.980 --> 00:18:39.579
to talk myself out of it. I'm just going to try
00:18:39.579 --> 00:18:42.319
it and whatever happens happens. And that's it.
00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:44.839
And then I go negative. I turn into positive.
00:18:44.940 --> 00:18:47.579
Negative turn into positive. So I'm constantly
00:18:47.579 --> 00:18:49.920
doing this every day. I have to do this because
00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:54.400
the whole world is negative. Everybody. Yep.
00:18:54.799 --> 00:18:58.180
I go to the store. Two people are yelling. One
00:18:58.180 --> 00:19:00.839
woman's yelling at the cashier right in front
00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:03.099
of me. The woman that's standing online in front
00:19:03.099 --> 00:19:06.079
of me is yelling at the cashier. I come home,
00:19:06.279 --> 00:19:09.759
my kids are arguing. I go to work, the boss is
00:19:09.759 --> 00:19:13.559
yelling at an employee. Everywhere I go, most
00:19:13.559 --> 00:19:17.940
of the time, from beginning to end, I go outside
00:19:17.940 --> 00:19:20.259
of my house, the neighbor's yelling at the lawnmower
00:19:20.259 --> 00:19:23.160
because the lawnmower broke. I could go on and
00:19:23.160 --> 00:19:27.500
on. I mean, there's tons of things that are around
00:19:27.500 --> 00:19:30.480
us that are negative, but I don't have to be
00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:34.319
that way. And I teach this stuff all the time.
00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:37.059
In a hundred different ways. I mean, I'm just
00:19:37.059 --> 00:19:39.200
just doing a few examples off the top of my head,
00:19:39.299 --> 00:19:41.480
which I know are very common. But I mean, there's
00:19:41.480 --> 00:19:44.380
tons of examples, all different scenarios and
00:19:44.380 --> 00:19:46.680
stories of this different things that we're talking
00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:50.160
about here. But I teach this stuff. So I changed
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:54.119
first because if I don't know it, I can't teach
00:19:54.119 --> 00:19:57.599
it. That's the problem. If I'm not like that,
00:19:57.720 --> 00:20:00.519
right, I can't teach that. And think about when
00:20:00.519 --> 00:20:03.059
you were a teacher, you had to know all the lessons
00:20:03.059 --> 00:20:05.819
and all the answers to the tests. How are you
00:20:05.819 --> 00:20:08.220
gonna grade the tests? How are you gonna pass
00:20:08.220 --> 00:20:10.819
somebody or fail anybody? So the teacher has
00:20:10.819 --> 00:20:13.259
to know, and that's really what I... Consider
00:20:13.259 --> 00:20:16.519
I always say, like, even though I use that title,
00:20:16.740 --> 00:20:18.440
I don't have a teaching degree. You know what
00:20:18.440 --> 00:20:22.119
I mean? I use that title as a coach, transformational
00:20:22.119 --> 00:20:24.480
coach, which is just a very, very general term.
00:20:24.519 --> 00:20:27.339
But there's tons of different things that I do.
00:20:27.740 --> 00:20:32.119
But it really sounds positive what you're saying.
00:20:32.779 --> 00:20:35.619
Because why? Because you told your story, you
00:20:35.619 --> 00:20:39.160
went through the process and you showed us you
00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:43.640
explained. But you also showed us in a way that
00:20:43.640 --> 00:20:46.619
you changed all of that, which sounded like a
00:20:46.619 --> 00:20:49.759
lot. It sounded like a lot. And you've changed
00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:54.099
all of that. And now you're a successful, beautiful
00:20:54.099 --> 00:20:58.059
woman. And that's really the truth. Yeah. Well,
00:20:58.079 --> 00:20:59.759
it's funny when you're attacking to. So it's
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:02.079
like it's so funny when everybody is like, oh.
00:21:02.329 --> 00:21:04.190
You must have fear of failure a lot, and I'm
00:21:04.190 --> 00:21:06.190
like, no, I actually have fear of success. But
00:21:06.190 --> 00:21:08.150
then as you're sharing and all that, it was like
00:21:08.150 --> 00:21:09.809
that was like the mental game happening in my
00:21:09.809 --> 00:21:12.630
brain was like, yeah, you're right. Guess what?
00:21:12.829 --> 00:21:14.930
So if today is successful, then tomorrow's problems
00:21:14.930 --> 00:21:17.109
are tomorrow's. And that's when you get to bring
00:21:17.109 --> 00:21:20.250
more people into your team and you get to do
00:21:20.250 --> 00:21:22.809
more and different things. But yeah, don't overthink
00:21:22.809 --> 00:21:25.170
it. Don't overdo it. Just take the next right
00:21:25.170 --> 00:21:29.690
step and it'll be what it'll be. Because if I
00:21:29.690 --> 00:21:32.089
have something happen, I want to now control
00:21:32.089 --> 00:21:35.150
that thing doesn't work out. Maybe or maybe if
00:21:35.150 --> 00:21:36.809
it does, I don't like the outcome, whatever.
00:21:37.069 --> 00:21:39.589
Now I want to control the situation. I want to
00:21:39.589 --> 00:21:42.289
try to control the next situation because I want
00:21:42.289 --> 00:21:44.470
it to be better. I want it to be some way, but
00:21:44.470 --> 00:21:46.650
it's not going to be the way that I want it nine
00:21:46.650 --> 00:21:49.670
times out of ten. That's the thing. And we have
00:21:49.670 --> 00:21:52.670
the ability to think for ourselves. Every human
00:21:52.670 --> 00:21:55.309
being has the ability. So you have a choice.
00:21:55.549 --> 00:21:58.119
You have something presented to you. Same thing
00:21:58.119 --> 00:22:01.380
with me or anybody. Which way am I going to go?
00:22:01.980 --> 00:22:05.599
Am I going to take that suggestion? If somebody
00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:08.279
says you should do this, you should move on.
00:22:08.420 --> 00:22:10.519
You should get another career. Am I going to
00:22:10.519 --> 00:22:12.660
take that suggestion? Am I going to take that
00:22:12.660 --> 00:22:16.599
advice or am I not? So if I don't, that's one
00:22:16.599 --> 00:22:19.819
path I go on and that's another separate process.
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:22.220
And that'll lead me to another outcome. And if
00:22:22.220 --> 00:22:25.380
I do take it. And I say, oh, this sounds interesting.
00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:27.539
It sounds like a good idea. Maybe I'll try it.
00:22:27.700 --> 00:22:30.460
That leaves me. I go. Now I'm on it. Separate
00:22:30.460 --> 00:22:32.960
doing a separate process. And that leaves me
00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:36.220
to a separate outcome. So we have all different
00:22:36.220 --> 00:22:39.259
paths. Everybody have all different paths that
00:22:39.259 --> 00:22:42.160
we could take. And all of that is going to lead
00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:45.279
us to a different ending. Now could be the ending.
00:22:45.480 --> 00:22:48.799
It could be the beginning. It could be. The end
00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:51.039
of the beginning and then we could start or could
00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:54.440
be ending and then we just completely go. In
00:22:54.440 --> 00:22:57.480
a different direction incomplete so it's there's
00:22:57.480 --> 00:23:00.619
all different situations that you know but that's
00:23:00.619 --> 00:23:03.059
the way i want to start is getting rid of that
00:23:03.059 --> 00:23:06.779
negativity. and changing that and making it a
00:23:06.779 --> 00:23:11.160
positive with every single thing I do, every
00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:15.039
single thing. I have people call me just so they
00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:18.460
could hear positive pages, just so they can hear
00:23:18.460 --> 00:23:21.579
something positive about themselves. It's hysterical.
00:23:21.799 --> 00:23:24.299
And what do I do? I say the opposite of what
00:23:24.299 --> 00:23:27.319
they say. That's all I do. Yeah, that's all I
00:23:27.319 --> 00:23:30.099
do. They'll say, oh, I feel like crap today.
00:23:30.539 --> 00:23:34.230
Oh, no, you feel good. Yep. That's all I do.
00:23:34.529 --> 00:23:36.329
They'll say, oh, I don't like the color of my
00:23:36.329 --> 00:23:38.029
shirt because it's blue. I say, oh, blue is a
00:23:38.029 --> 00:23:42.609
gray color. Yeah, I had a laugh several years
00:23:42.609 --> 00:23:45.650
ago. A leader person was like, do you tell yourself
00:23:45.650 --> 00:23:48.450
you're tired? Like, well, what woman in their
00:23:48.450 --> 00:23:51.069
middle ages don't say that they're tired. They're
00:23:51.069 --> 00:23:52.769
like, well, how many times do you tell yourself
00:23:52.769 --> 00:23:55.170
that in a day? And it's like, oh, yeah, self
00:23:55.170 --> 00:23:56.950
-fulfilling prophecy. You're right there because
00:23:56.950 --> 00:23:59.190
then you're just always saying in the affirmative,
00:23:59.269 --> 00:24:01.680
like, yeah, I am tired. Yeah, I shouldn't have
00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:03.619
done this. I should have gone to bed. I shouldn't
00:24:03.619 --> 00:24:05.359
do this. I should. And then it's like, how much
00:24:05.359 --> 00:24:08.039
energy do you just waste in your thought process
00:24:08.039 --> 00:24:11.660
than just being like, I'm here. Let's do this.
00:24:12.799 --> 00:24:15.299
And I perceive that as a negative. If somebody
00:24:15.299 --> 00:24:18.680
says, oh, are you tired? And even if I am, I
00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:20.619
probably would say, no, I'm not. You know what
00:24:20.619 --> 00:24:23.700
I mean? Just to change it, just to change it
00:24:23.700 --> 00:24:26.000
to me. You might not think that's a negative
00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:29.500
statement, but I kind of do and only because
00:24:29.740 --> 00:24:32.519
When I'm tired, that prevents me from doing things
00:24:32.519 --> 00:24:34.700
because I just want to go to sleep or I just
00:24:34.700 --> 00:24:37.900
want to sit home and binge watch cable TV or
00:24:37.900 --> 00:24:40.839
something like that. It's something it's going
00:24:40.839 --> 00:24:43.039
to be. To me, the outcome is not going to be
00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:45.980
productive. Maybe somebody is really tired. Maybe
00:24:45.980 --> 00:24:48.119
they didn't sleep the night before. Maybe they
00:24:48.119 --> 00:24:51.440
really do need sleep. I don't know. But that's
00:24:51.440 --> 00:24:54.839
why I'm saying. I want to determine, first of
00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:56.920
all, if it's a negative statement, I want to
00:24:56.920 --> 00:25:00.099
take every single statement. It's hard to do
00:25:00.099 --> 00:25:04.099
in the beginning. Every single thought, every
00:25:04.099 --> 00:25:07.400
thought. So I have to listen. I have to analyze
00:25:07.400 --> 00:25:10.039
every single thought, literally, because if I
00:25:10.039 --> 00:25:14.119
say one negative thought, if I think one thing
00:25:14.119 --> 00:25:17.339
about myself, that's not going to have a good
00:25:17.339 --> 00:25:21.180
outcome or I know is going to be uncomfortable
00:25:21.180 --> 00:25:24.920
for me. Then I don't want that. Then I'm negative.
00:25:25.380 --> 00:25:27.599
One negative thing, one negative thought makes
00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:30.660
me negative. That's the problem. You know, that's
00:25:30.660 --> 00:25:33.180
the thing. So people want to fight for other
00:25:33.180 --> 00:25:36.910
people and that's fine. But the problem with
00:25:36.910 --> 00:25:40.430
that is everybody has to fight because a lot
00:25:40.430 --> 00:25:42.930
of people like stand up for themselves, you know,
00:25:42.930 --> 00:25:44.710
in all different ways. I'm not going to physically
00:25:44.710 --> 00:25:47.210
fighting. You know, I'm saying stand up for themselves.
00:25:47.390 --> 00:25:50.309
But the problem with that is everybody has to
00:25:50.309 --> 00:25:52.470
stand up for themselves. And if one or two people
00:25:52.470 --> 00:25:54.950
don't, then they're not. You know what I mean?
00:25:55.150 --> 00:25:58.250
Because you have to constantly be canceling out
00:25:58.250 --> 00:26:01.009
that negativity. So it's looking for an opening.
00:26:01.259 --> 00:26:04.259
So wherever it can find an opening, it will go
00:26:04.259 --> 00:26:08.619
into you and it will just just grab you. That's
00:26:08.619 --> 00:26:10.819
the thing. You can't have an opening. And even
00:26:10.819 --> 00:26:12.460
I would say for people when they're asking those
00:26:12.460 --> 00:26:14.680
questions, too, you know what I mean? Like, don't
00:26:14.680 --> 00:26:16.740
come up and be like, oh, Debbie, you're looking
00:26:16.740 --> 00:26:19.240
really tired. Are you tired instead of just like,
00:26:19.259 --> 00:26:20.940
hey, Debbie, it's so great to see you. How are
00:26:20.940 --> 00:26:23.960
you feeling today? Like, it's so refreshing when
00:26:23.960 --> 00:26:26.319
you come across the second example than when
00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:29.069
you come across the first. It's like. Oh, yeah,
00:26:29.069 --> 00:26:31.109
you're right. I haven't finished my caffeine
00:26:31.109 --> 00:26:33.109
today. Oh, you're right. I haven't slept well
00:26:33.109 --> 00:26:36.529
in four weeks. Like it just sends the other person
00:26:36.529 --> 00:26:41.549
down this highway of not good things. And then
00:26:41.549 --> 00:26:44.410
you'll be able to do this to other people. You'll
00:26:44.410 --> 00:26:46.789
be able to say, oh, you look really good today
00:26:46.789 --> 00:26:50.569
instead of, oh, you look really tired. You look
00:26:50.569 --> 00:26:52.809
horrible. You should spend the next 15 hours
00:26:52.809 --> 00:26:55.970
in bed sleeping. I mean, there's a difference.
00:26:56.200 --> 00:26:58.680
So I don't say anything negative to anybody,
00:26:58.680 --> 00:27:00.940
you know, and that's another reason why I like
00:27:00.940 --> 00:27:03.640
this podcast where we tell our story, because
00:27:03.640 --> 00:27:06.640
the feedback that I give nine times out of 10
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:09.200
is going to be positive. I might not say it at
00:27:09.200 --> 00:27:11.380
the beginning because we're talking about what
00:27:11.380 --> 00:27:13.220
the process, right, what the person is doing.
00:27:13.660 --> 00:27:17.359
But I always want to talk about what's the positive
00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:21.099
out of this story. That's the main thing. What
00:27:21.099 --> 00:27:25.099
can happen that's going to be good for me? That's
00:27:25.099 --> 00:27:27.440
going to be better. better than the life that
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:30.420
I'm living now, I'm going to be happier. And
00:27:30.420 --> 00:27:33.480
if I want to sit in my suffering and I want to
00:27:33.480 --> 00:27:37.200
stay there, that's perfectly fine with me. I'm
00:27:37.200 --> 00:27:40.359
not like that. I'm not that way today. I went
00:27:40.359 --> 00:27:44.220
through my process and I came out the other side.
00:27:44.339 --> 00:27:48.200
I have my own story. But if somebody wants that,
00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:51.299
that's fine. If somebody doesn't write, then
00:27:51.299 --> 00:27:53.420
they can change. They definitely can, whether
00:27:53.420 --> 00:27:57.000
they think so or not. That's not the issue. You
00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:58.900
could think whatever you want. It doesn't matter.
00:27:59.380 --> 00:28:02.299
If you can put in the footwork and you can say,
00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:05.500
I'm willing or maybe I'm going to give it a try
00:28:05.500 --> 00:28:08.299
or just have blind faith or I don't know if this
00:28:08.299 --> 00:28:10.339
is going to work. That's really all that's going
00:28:10.339 --> 00:28:13.400
to be really required. Really, when you really,
00:28:13.400 --> 00:28:16.240
really think about it, because some people do
00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:18.299
it on their own. And I have a lot of people on
00:28:18.299 --> 00:28:21.259
this podcast. They tell their story and a lot
00:28:21.259 --> 00:28:23.819
of them. Some people did it with help, but some
00:28:23.819 --> 00:28:27.460
people went through their process and they just
00:28:27.460 --> 00:28:30.339
knew that eventually as they were going through
00:28:30.339 --> 00:28:32.039
their process, they just knew that they needed
00:28:32.039 --> 00:28:34.640
to change. And then something happened and then
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:36.579
they did it and then something else happened.
00:28:36.579 --> 00:28:39.960
And that's how they were able to come come to
00:28:39.960 --> 00:28:43.099
that, get over that those things. So that's the
00:28:43.099 --> 00:28:46.259
thing. So like I said, everybody has different
00:28:46.259 --> 00:28:49.559
situations. But the best thing to do is I'm not
00:28:49.559 --> 00:28:51.599
trying to sell myself because this is not about
00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:55.009
selling. But the best thing to do is work with
00:28:55.009 --> 00:28:58.250
somebody in a professional field. I'm a coach.
00:28:58.470 --> 00:29:00.970
I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a psychiatrist.
00:29:01.569 --> 00:29:04.430
I don't I'm not a doctor. I don't prescribe medication.
00:29:04.630 --> 00:29:07.150
I don't have any degrees and I have no desire
00:29:07.150 --> 00:29:11.210
to have any degrees at all because that's not
00:29:11.210 --> 00:29:15.450
what I teach. And that's not the direction that
00:29:15.450 --> 00:29:17.769
I want to go into. If somebody wants to seek
00:29:17.769 --> 00:29:20.640
that out, that's fine with them. But there are
00:29:20.640 --> 00:29:23.299
a lot of people in this world that have done
00:29:23.299 --> 00:29:26.099
that and that has not worked. And that's the
00:29:26.099 --> 00:29:28.220
whole thing. And that's why they're seeking other
00:29:28.220 --> 00:29:30.660
people out. And that's the best way to do it
00:29:30.660 --> 00:29:33.380
is work with, like I said, whoever you think
00:29:33.380 --> 00:29:35.740
is a professional or whatever, whoever you want
00:29:35.740 --> 00:29:39.480
to do it and one on one. And that will help you
00:29:39.480 --> 00:29:41.920
to determine your outcome because it doesn't
00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:43.880
your life doesn't have to be the way that it
00:29:43.880 --> 00:29:47.500
is now. If if somebody is unhappy and just a
00:29:47.500 --> 00:29:49.680
little bit. Just a little part of their life,
00:29:49.779 --> 00:29:51.619
then they're unhappy. Yeah. And sometimes we
00:29:51.619 --> 00:29:54.279
go through hard life lessons and it's not necessarily
00:29:54.279 --> 00:29:56.519
all about us either. Sometimes we go through
00:29:56.519 --> 00:29:58.579
things to get through our process, to get to
00:29:58.579 --> 00:30:01.400
the other healed side and that positive side
00:30:01.400 --> 00:30:03.920
to then see the next person that's coming alongside
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:07.660
that has similar situations or whatever. And
00:30:07.660 --> 00:30:09.720
they're just learning and helping each other
00:30:09.720 --> 00:30:12.339
out. So we're definitely interdependent, not
00:30:12.339 --> 00:30:15.559
independent. Yeah. Definitely. This has been
00:30:15.559 --> 00:30:18.519
very good. As we close, this conversation is
00:30:18.519 --> 00:30:20.839
a reminder that progress really comes from one
00:30:20.839 --> 00:30:24.079
big decision, but from the internal choices we
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:26.519
repeat. If something from today's discussion
00:30:26.519 --> 00:30:28.940
connected with you, take a moment to notice how
00:30:28.940 --> 00:30:31.259
those internal choices show up in your own life.
00:30:31.579 --> 00:30:33.339
This has been the Internal Shift Show. Thank
00:30:33.339 --> 00:30:35.140
you for listening and thank you, Jennifer, for
00:30:35.140 --> 00:30:36.700
being on the show. I appreciate it.
